Little Wonder (Phan)

Chapter Eight.

I hadn't said a thing about that day, just watched every morning as he tried to slip out of bed silently, and get out of the flat before either me or Winnie could notice. But I always noticed, and I always started crying the second he was gone. But I never let Winnie see, I let her believe that everything was okay. I took her on trips, got her presents, showed her how much I loved her whenever we watched a movie together. I adored Winnie, and what Phil was doing wasn't going to dampen how I felt about her. Right now, she was my entire world.

"Where's daddy?" And everyday she asked that, I answered with 'I don't know' and tried my best not to cry, but she seemed content with just me, her tiny hand and fingers wrapping around mine, and pulling me anywhere she could. And to be honest, I forgot about Phil most of the time, until he came home. He usually came up with ruffled up hair, and a flustered expression, and it left me thinking the worst things imaginable. The worst being, he didn't love me anymore.

And then one day, he didn't come home. And I waited all night for him, but he didn't walk through that door, and that's when I though, this is it. He's finally left me. Without even so much as a single goodbye. He didn't even have the guts to face me, like a real man. Well fine, I didn't need him. But I knew that was a goddamn lie. I'd circled everything around him for the past 7 years, that I didn't know how to function properly without him.

I was out the entire day with Winnie, with no thoughts on Phil, until we came home to an empty flat, and the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. He wasn't home still, he was still out, and I could only think he was out with Bea. Having the time of his life. Without me.

"Papa, is daddy okay? He hasn't been home at all." We were currently cuddling, with her nestled into my side as we watched a movie, like a daughter and father should. I didn't want to tell her that I didn't know again, I wanted to give her an answer, but I couldn't. "Papa, are you okay?" She was putting her tiny hands on my face, and I hadn't realised that I was crying, and she was wiping away my tears. She wasn't supposed to do that. I was supposed to, for her.

"Hey, hey. I'm okay. I'll be okay, alright?" I took her tiny hands into my much larger ones, and kissed the backs of them, holding them like they were so fragile. Just like my heart felt like right now. "Daddy is just.. . busy. Daddy's are busy sometimes, he's working for us, alright? So we can afford to buy you such pretty clothes and food for your squishy tummy." I poked it, to which I earned a squeal, and she pulled her hands away, and nodded. "Daddy will be back before you know it, he'll be home tomorrow." That's what I hoped anyways.

As the movie went on, Winnie began to nod off, and she had soon fallen asleep against me. And that is when the front door opened, and a flustered looking Phil entered the living room, his hair all messed up, and I even noticed that his clothes were rather wrinkled and his belt was unhooked. He didn't. "D-Dan!" He yelped, as if though not expecting me to be at our home, and then upon seeing Winnie nestled into my side, the guilt on his face doubled. I knew he had done something bad. Something he shouldn't have.

"Hello, Philip." He knew he was in trouble when I used his full first name, he looked like a puppy who knew he was about to get whapped for disobeying. But Phil hadn't disobeyed, he looked like he'd done something even worse. "What took you so long? I thought you were going to be right home." I held Winnie close to me, hoping she didn't hear us fight.

"Dan, I swear. It's not as bad as it looks." What did it look like? I hadn't even started to question him yet, and already he was digging himself into a hole that would most likely be impossible to climb out of. He was down on his knees in a second, in front of me, and he was gonna wish he hadn't done that. I took one whiff of the air and almost started to cough. He smelled like cheap perfume, he was almost doused in it, and the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes weren't just from how strong it was. He did.