Little Wonder (Phan)

Thirty-Nine.

"Can you believe that we're here?" I knew he would be curious, if not a little worried, about my question. And I really couldn't blame him, usually whenever I started talking like this, it meant that I'd been left to my own devices, falling, sinking farther and farther into my own thoughts. My thoughts usually being dark and depressing, but this time they weren't, they were bright and positive, and I'm pretty sure I'd the little bundle of warmth cuddled up between us to thank. She might not know it, but she's added something to our little family of two, and it wasn't just about making it a family of three, she's really something special, and I was glad she was able to share it with us. "I mean, look at us. Not even 10 years ago, I was a nobody. No one even batted an eye at me, didn't care what my name was, what I did or what I liked. Now people all over the world love me, you and me. And look at us." This was about to get sentimental, and a bit soppy, but there were times when I got like that, not often, but sometimes. "What would have happened if you had not noticed me among the sea of fans?" Looking up into his eyes, I knew he didn't want to be talking about this, he didn't want to think what his life would be like without me, and I didn't like thinking about it either. I knew my life would be nothing like it was now without him in it.

He took my hand into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I know I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I am now." Pecking my lips, he knew he'd made me melt with his words, to everyone's surprise, Phil really did have a way with words. To bad I would be the only one to ever hear it, he and I didn't share everything with the internet. If that wasn't already obvious enough, I mean, we'd been married for a few years, and they were still trying to figure out if we were /dating/ or not, for gosh's sake, we had a child. But then again, I liked watching them trying to figure us out, I wouldn't say that it was pleasing, but it was surely amusing to watch them freak out when we posted anything even remotely close to an intimate picture. "I also know I wouldn't have this little miracle." Bringing the sleepy Winnie up closer to his chest, he kissed the top of her head.

"She's certainly a little wonder." My voice was a whisper, I didn't have to wake her up, she'd finally gotten to sleep, having to sleep with us the past few nights. She was 5 years old, always saying she was too old to things like hold our hands, or be picked up by us. But when it came to sleeping with us, for protection and warmth, she never seemed to have a problem with it. Gently brushing back a few curls from her face, I smiled as she gave a tiny yawn, pushing away my hand and claiming that she wasn't tired, that she was just resting her eyes and she'd be ready to go in a few minutes. What she didn't seem to understand was that it was the middle of the night, well, 2am, if you want to get specific. I'd never really been good at sleeping, I was a full blown insomniac at times, and even though he fell asleep at the drop of a hat, Phil refused to leave me alone, mostly to my own thoughts. Intertwining our fingers I smiled at the feeling of his lips on my knuckles, I loved when he did stupidly cheesy things like that, not that my ego would ever let me admit it, I was far to proud for that. Even though my attitude on the camera was a bit of a shield to how I acted in real life, it sometimes poured into our everyday conversation or motions, and I don't mean them to. Phil was the dominate one off the camera, I was just the bossy one on the camera, and it was obvious, many beings of our audience had picked up on it already. Smart.

It was actually quite funny, we'd been wanting a child for years, though we knew we were never ready, never felt like we would be, we were two 20 year old guys with no experience with young children whatsoever, and we wanted to adopt. The reason it'd actually happened was because of Louise, she'd been going on and on about Darcy, and don't get me wrong, I love hearing about her and all the mischief she got into, but I'd begun to realise I wanted to be the one saying these things, saying how our little girl or boy had gotten into so much mischief, or what they'd had to eat that day, or even the dreams they tried to tell us they'd had. So I'd bounced up to Phil and told him I wanted a child, and of course he was a bit surprised and flustered, but he couldn't say no to my begging face, and we were soon in the car, and I was excited. Reality hadn't set in yet, if we were really going to go through with this, we weren't only going to be in charge of our own health and life, but a little one's as well. We would have to care for them, keep them alive, love them. That is, until we'd actually gotten inside. I'd seen all those children, who had been just left, abandoned, left for dead. Reaching out for us, wanting for us to love them, for us to care about them. "Phil, do you think we could ever adopt again?" Tracing a circle on his chest, I played my cards carefully, of course Phil had wanted Winnie, but it'd taken a lot of convincing to show him that I was ready to care for a child, he knew he was ready, he was 4 years older.