Little Wonder (Phan)

Thirty-Five.

It'd been a couple of months since we'd come back to the ice cream shop, mostly because I didn't like the location. The last time we were here Louise just about saved WInnie from being run over, hit, or severely injured. Probably all three, but I didn't like to dwell on thoughts like that, it made me feel something I never thought I'd feel since Phil came back. Loss. I never wanted to lose someone I loved ever again. "Winnie, please don't let go of daddy, okay? I don't want you falling down." She was on Phil's shoulders, and even though I knew Phil wouldn't let her fall, he was a 6ft man, and if she dropped, there would be injuries. She smiled at me, and I guess Phil understood my concern, because he allowed her to ride on his shoulders for a little while longer before taking her down and holding her hand. "Thanks Phil." I pecked his cheek.

"We're in public, you idiot." But he was smiling, grinning almost like a child who had just been rewarded. I heard him humming Toxic, by Britney Spears. We'd played that song a few nights ago to let Winnie really get involved in the world of Dan and Phil, not of papa and her daddy, but of /Dan and Phil/. She'd seemed to like the song, and still liked it, as she began to hum along with him, skipping by his side. I smiled down at her, not surprised to see her eyes sparkling like they had stars in them. "What's up with you, little cub? Excited?" She had ice cream all around her mouth, and I bent down, wiping her face. She was always a messy eater.

We weren't exactly watching as we crossed the street, the same street that she'd almost been hit at, and we didn't exactly see the careless driver until it was much too late. And let me just say, I think I was the only one who saw it before it all happened. It was kind of like my life flashed before my eyes, the conversation we'd just had, of course, but that wasn't it. The day we'd gotten Winnie for someone flashed into my mind, like it was a warning sign to remember probably one of the best days of my entire life, and that I needed to keep it close to me. I kept my eyes shut, just waiting for the impact, but I was felt a pair of hands on my back and I was pushed out of the way of the vehicle, and I knew exactly who'd done it. I heard a loud and dull thump as a body made contact with the front bumper of the car, and out of the corner of my eye I could see a body lying limp on the ground, and I rushed over to Phil without hesitation.

"Holy fuck, are you okay?" There was a crowd around us, some people were just looking, but there were some who were panicking even more than we were. I got an assuring 'I'm fine, I promise' from him, and I wrapped my arms around him, he was just a little dazed, but I knew he was going to be just fine. And then I heard it, the bloodcurdling scream I'd heard only once in my life before, when I'd gone running into the street as a child and a semi-truck had almost flattened me like a pancake, that was the only time I'd heard my mum scream like that. So I knew this was the scream of a mum looking at a hurt child, and that's when my body froze, my blood chilling. "Phil, where's Winnie?" His assuring smile cracked and broke as he looked behind me, and I saw him freeze, those ocean eyes were terrified, and I didn't want to turn around, I didn't want to face the reality that was probably right behind me. And there was that feeling again, the feeling of loss. It was starting to slowly build up inside of me, and I couldn't believe how slowly I'd turned around in that moment, and I couldn't believe what I saw.

She didn't even look like she was breathing. I left Phil in a second, scrambling to her side and taking her into my arms. I heard someone say they were going to call the paramedics, and I didn't even respond, just held her close and started to cry. At that second I couldn't give a single flying fuck what the world thought about us right now. They could think we were the most flamboyant gay couple in the entire world, and I would walk right past them. "Winnie, please. I don't want to lose her." I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged them off, not really knowing who it was, not really knowing that it was Phil. "Please, little cub. I cannot lose you. You are the - I love you more than anything in this life." I heard another set of voices and I knew that it was the paramedics, but I almost bit of the woman's hand when she tried to take Winnie from me, so it was up to Phil to pry me away from her, thankfully though, they let me ride in the paramedics vehicle with her, Phil promised to be meet us there, he was going to take the car, and I couldn't even find it in me to reprimand him for driving without license.