Little Wonder (Phan)

Fifty-One.

We were finally home, and it was late at night, so of course I was questioning every fucking thing in the entire universe. But Phil didn't seem to mind. "Why do you think we're here? Is there a point to our existence? We could all die, this whole planet, and there'd be no one left to tell the tales." Currently, I was cuddled into his side, shaking in fear, and crying my heart out. I was having an existential crisis. Those were real, they weren't just for videos. "Phil." My voice was shaking, and I was looking up at him with wide eyes. He looked down at me, smiling softly as he played with my curls, giving me a questioning glance. "What did you think, the first time you saw me?" He was surprised, this didn't follow any of my questions beforehand, so it was kind of out of the blue for him. But he was ready to answer, kissing my lips before doing so.

"Well -- the first time I /saw/ you, on Twitter, I thought you were really cute." His pale cheeks were flushing with a blush. "And then, we started talking on Skype, and I fell in love with your words. My crush on you slowly gained speed." Chuckling, he held me closer, my hand rested on his chest, and my tears were slowly stopping. There seemed to be a permanent smile on his face. "And then, we met." He was back in his memories, and I listened, closing my eyes, as he told the tale of when we first met. But for the first time, in his point of view.

* Phil's POV (see what i did there?) *

We were meeting for the first time, I'd offered to pay for his ticket, and then demanded that I did. Especially since he was taking time out of his life to come up here and see me. I wasn't anyone special. I was just Phil. We'd met on Twitter, he was one of the people in my audience and I just started paying him a little bit more attention. Something about him had pulled me closer. And then we'd started Skyping, and his words blew me away. He basically built me palaces out of paragraphs, and cathedrals. A bit songy, I know, but hey. Don't knock it, ok?

"Train D will be arriving in 5 minutes. I repeat, Train D will be arriving in 5 minutes." He was going to be here soon, and I could barely sit still. My leg was bouncing up and down, like I was a child who had to go the bathroom, but there was no way for me to use one. I didn't think I'd be able to wait 5 whole minutes. But, I had been waiting for more than 5 months. So I guess 5 more minutes wouldn't kill me. Closing my eyes, I lay back my head and drum my fingers against my leg, I couldn't wait to meet him. Dan seemed -- he was just one of the most interesting people I'd met in a while. And with what had happened, I hadn't really been letting new people in as of late, not even my own family really. So this boy must be really special, must have an importance in my life. Who knows. We might even have a future together. But I highly doubted that, who would want to have a future with me?

My eyes shot open when I heard the familiar squeal of the train's brakes. They really needed to oil those, or something. It was a terrible sound. Jumping up from my seat, I hid my hands in my pockets, and looked as the doors swung open. He was here, I could just sense it, he was here in the flesh to see me, and we were about to actually meet. Why did I feel so nervous? He was the one acting nervous usually, well, he had been a fan of mine and apparently I was one of his idols. I didn't really think of our relationship like that. I thought of us more as -- friends. I hoped he didn't find that to forward. Looking around, I looked for the boy I had thought about meeting for ages. I didn't even know how tall he was. But he'd always sounded so small when we talked, so I imagined that he was a short boy. But when I finally laid my eyes on him, I knew I was beyond wrong. He was tall, almost as tall as me. And then time itself seemed to stop, because he was looking straight at me. Like I was the only thing in the entire world that mattered. Running towards me with his arms open, and a gigantic smile on his face, he grew closer and closer. But I was froze. He was the most beautiful boy I had ever laid my eyes on. The most beautiful person ever. He'd finally gotten to me, but he didn't hug me like he'd seemed he'd wanted to. Neither of us spoke, but we left the station. And though he seemed to afraid to say anything, he grabbed my hand and didn't let go. I didn't either, I intertwined our fingers.

We walked past a Starbucks, and I pulled him inside, motioning for him to order something, before doing the same. After we got our drinks, we sat walked out, hand in hand. We stopped out a park, sitting in the grass, and looking up at the darkening sky. Finally, he spoke. "You know, you're a lot more quiet in real life than people would think." But there was a smile on his face during his sentence, and he looked over at me with an amused expression. He rested his head on my chest, curling up into my side. He was already so comfortable with me.

"You're a lot more beautiful in real life than people will ever know." Where the heck had that come from? I felt my face flush quickly, and I covered my face with both of my hands, but he grabbed my hands, and started playing with my fingers. His face was flushed in the moonlight, and it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen in my entire life. It's the truth.

"D-do you really think I'm beautiful?" His voice was a whisper, it shook and cracked. Was he crying? "No one has ever called me that before. And I sure as hell didn't ever expect you to call me -- do you mean it?" He looked up at me, those big brown eyes grabbing me and seeming like they were never going to let me go. I never wanted to let him go. He was still playing with my fingers, and his expression was hopeful, giving me childlike wonder. I just couldn't help myself. I leaned down and pressed my lips against his gently. Sweetly. I didn't want to scare him off. But maybe doing this the first time that we actually met wasn't smart.

Pulling back, his eyes were wider than ever before, and I covered my face again, rolling away from him, and standing up. "Fuc - I'm sorry! I'm so -- sorry." I started to run away, but he quickly scrambled up and hugged my back, shaking his head, and hiding his face.

"Don't leave me. Please don't ever leave me." He sounded so desperate, so scared and alone that my heart actually broke. If you put it up to a scanner at a hospital right now, you would see it in pieces, lying underneath my ribs. He was a small child who had been alone most of his life, and now it seemed like he was too scared to be alone anymore.

I turned around and hugged him back, kissing the top of his head. "I'll -- never leave you."

"You promise?"

I didn't know how I couldn't. The expression on his face, mixed in with his voice, I would've had to have been a monster to have ever said no. To just break his heart and then walk off.

"I promise." 

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Haha, this was actually planned you hoes. But, I'm sorry it was so short. I know, chapters have been getting shorter and shorter. I'm so sorry. PLEASE ENJOY BYE!!!