Little Wonder (Phan)

Chapter Thirteen.

"Why are you still wearing your ring?" We were currently sipping at wine, Winnie put to bed, and hopefully asleep. I'd put her through enough already, and I was honestly surprised when she told Louise she wanted to come back home. "I mean, after all. You want nothing to do with him, don't want him contacting you or Winnie, and refuse to even speak his name." She was sipping at her wine again, but kept her oddly coloured eyes on me, narrowing them as she continued to speak. If she kept going, she was going to hit a nerve, and I don't know how much I would be able to keep contained inside. "I thought you hated him."

Huffing softly, puffing my cheeks out like a frustrated child, I brought my glass to my lips, tipping it back gently. "I do hate him, I hate every single thing about him. His stupid smile, his stupid laugh, his stupid eyes, the feeling I get when he touches me ever so lightly, how much he'd tell me he loved me. I hate it all, I hate him." But that was a blatant lie.

Raising a brow at me, I suddenly realised a mistake. None of those things were things that made sense to hate. In fact, they sounded loving. I loved his stupid smile, I loved his stupid laugh, how he does that stupid little tongue thing when he's super happy. I love the feeling I get when he touches me softly, how he'd always tell me he loves me. "Yeah, I absolutely despise him." I knew my words were muffled by the glass at my lips.

"Right, seems like it, buddy." She cleared her throat, sitting up straighter, and setting down her glass, looking at me again. "I really do think you should call him, Dan. You don't have to go see him, he doesn't have to come here, you don't have to have any face to face contact. Just vocal. Please, I really think it would make a world's difference for you." She almost seemed to be begging, but I wouldn't be swayed so easily, no matter where my thoughts were on Phil. No matter how much I wanted him home, I knew I couldn't just let him come home, in fear he might repeat his mistake. And then I'd be heartbroken all over again, and this time, I had a saying in letting it happen or not.

Sighing, she leaned back again, rubbing her eyes with frustration, and I knew she wanted to give up. But something was not allowing her to. "I just can't, Mae. If he does it again, how many times am I going to forgive him and allow him to come back home? How many time am I willing to let my heart be broken?" Sighing, I set down my own glass, trying my best not to make eye contact with her. My voice was beginning to fail me, and I feared what would happen if I made an sort of eye contact with her. "I can't allow him to control my emotions like that, to harm my mental health. Mae, I'm more broken than I've ever been."

Standing up, I collected our glasses, that was enough drinking for tonight, no matter how much she voiced her protest. After pouring the wine down the drain, I rejoined Mae in the living room, watching as she moved around as if though she were jello, moving around like her bones didn't matter, and wouldn't get in the way of her fluid movements. "You're back! Why did you take the wine away?" She pouted towards me, looking more like a child than ever before, and I could only roll my eyes, looking away from her.

"You barely had any, Mae. Why are you such a lightweight?" Poking her with my toe, I watched as she squealed, moving away as fast as she could, her oddly coloured eyes trying to glare at me, but she ended up just looking at me like a wild animal, eyes wide and curious.

"I dunno ~" She sang her words, and she swayed back and forth, almost seeming to melt onto the floor, giggling softly, letting out a relaxed sigh. "Dan, if you truly do hate Phil, then why do you refuse to completely shut him out. Why do you refuse to turn your bad on him, why not just fling that ring as far away as possible, and push any thoughts of him down farther in your brain than anything you've ever thought of before?" Hiccups were jumping past her lips, and she closed her eyes, breathing in and out deeply, as if though everything in the world was okay, and it didn't matter. "Just forget him, Dan."