He loves me, he loves me not

Chapter 32

"We're going to the amusement park" Harry says in thee most monotone voice I've ever heard.

It's been a month since the accident and Harry has been in a foul mood since then. It's hasn't been the same. We fight about everything. Harry has slept at his own place countless times and we're drifting apart faster than I could of ever imagined.

"Oh, why? " I ask picking at a scab on my hand that has formed because of the glass I broke.

I'd been packing the dishwasher when my phone beeped and images of Harry and another girl popped up onto the screen. I had a glass in my hand and lets just say I'm in need of some new glass wear.

"Louis wants to meet there" Harry says still starring at his phone like he has been for the past two hours. He comes in here and sits on my couch as if he's being paid to be here for at least two hours a day.

"I'm not going" I say from my seat on the stool by my kitchen counter.

"Like hell you are" Harry says face rigid. No emotion at all.

"Fine I'll just go break the rest of my body. Maybe this time he'll push me off one of the rides. You two will finally have gotten rid of me" I roll my eyes. I feel like some sort of burden to Harry now. I just wanna go back home. Problem is my mom isn't at home till next month. I'll just have to wait.

"Stop blaming Louis. That wasn't his fault. " Harry defends.

I don't know this... person in front of me.

"Why do you even bother with me Harry? " I ask.

He doesn't even look at me. He does nothing anymore. We're both empty emotionally drained shells. We've ruined each other. But why do we both carry on trying. If Harry gave up on us he wouldn't be here. If I had given up I wouldn't be here either. I still have hope. Which just seems so stupid right now.

"I could ask you the same thing" He replies.

We both know why. We have some weird faith in our relationship.

"Let's go" I don't have energy to fight this losing battle that is now between Harry and I instead of Louis and Harry and I.

...

"Where's Harry? " Zayn asks when I get there.

" His car" I point behind me.

"You came in different cars? Wasn't he at your place?" Zayn asks.

"He was. We just drove in our own cars because we're not leaving together" I explain as best I can. I'm tired and nauseous and coming to a busy amusement park isn't helping.

"But don't you live together?" Oh My Ef! could you stop asking questions.

"What's wrong?" Harry asks me.

"Nothing" I answer instantaneously.

"Oh okay. I'm gonna go get tickets for us." Harry gently hugs me with one arm around my shoulder. Our somehow matching jumpers blend in with our moods and the rainy grey weather.

"What's up with you two? " Zayn asks.

"Nothing, why? " I lie. Like I usually do when I'm with Zayn.

"You both look miserable, as if somebody died"

That's true, something has died, something inside of both of us has died and it has changed everything. I know I still love Harry,  if not more than before. But I don't know if I can bear the back and forth.

We comfort each other days after our outrageous fights but the next day I'll get another picture of him with a girl and we'll both fight.

The crazy part is that I never bring up the mystery girl because the bickering is about everything else but whats bothering us.

I don't get it.

"Uhm. We're just... figuring things out."

I say looking up at the ticket line and find Harry talking to the girl.

My face somehow falls further than it was before. Zayn doesn't notice it thank goodness.

Harry turns to me and smiles a weak smile. I can't return it because my face is frowning deeply at the girl.

He's to far to see who the glare is directed to.

"Well, you know I'm here for you. " Zayn cups my face as he speaks and hugs me tightly after. I'm not used to being hugged by someone shorter than Harry but I try to hug him back.

"Uhm thanks." I manage a smile.

When I turn my attention back to Harry, he isn't there.