He loves me, he loves me not

Chapter 44

Harry's P.O.V

We've been in this sloppy stale bar for like two days. Zayn has told me the entire break up story between him and Perrie and that he really misses her which only makes me think about Tammy. I start to wonder where she is this evening while I'm sitting her in this hell hole, when Zayn gets up and points at somebody and yells.

"Hay! Hay! " he starts waving his hands, "Hay Jade! "

Jade? Shit.

"Mate look who it is! Its Jade! "

"Yeah I heard you" I roll my eyes and prepare myself to face her.

"Hey guys. Long time no see" She smiles brightly just the way she used to when she saw me at her door in the morning. More memories try to fill my head but I shove them back into the little black box they escaped from.

"Hay! " Zayn, who is obviously intoxicated, hugs her tightly.

"Zayn!" I look at him when he lets go of her.

"What? "

"So what you guys doing here? " Jade sits down and looks directly at me.

She's obviously over me. I'll never have someone like her again, that's why I have to stay with Tammy, she comes close enough. I know that sounds bad, I mean I do love Tammy but I love Jade in a completely different way.

"Harry's drinking his pain away and I'm looking for a girlfriend. You interested?" Zayn raises a brow and moves closer to her. Before I know it I've pushed him right off his chair and he's drink is spilled on his shirt.

"What the fuck?" He yells angrily.

I just stare at him, surprised at my own actions.

"Harry!" Jade says disappointment thick in her voice. I can't stand it. I can't stand the way she's looking at me, so I turn and leave the sick place.

"Harry!" I hear her call my name. My heart stops and I almost stop but I keep walking.

"Harry! C'mon stop" Jade's not the type to ever run after you. She either leaves you to cool off or she's so mad at you that she doesn't even give a damn about where you go.

"Harry, would you stop! Fuck man "

Always swearing.

"What Jade? What?" I yell when we get outside.

"What the hell happened in there?" She shouts.

"I pushed Zayn"

"Well yeah,  but why? " Can she not see why? 

"He was hitting on you Jade!" I yell as we walk into an ally.

"I'm not yours to protect or get jealous over. " She crosses her arms.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know that you're not mine anymore. " I say bitterly.

She just keeps quiet.

"I ruined you. It's all my fault. We could of been together this whole time. We could of moved out of London, stayed where ever you wanted. I wouldn't be this jerk to all the girls I've dated trying to find you in them. I could have grown up. Having such a big responsibility as being a fath..." I stop right there.

"Harry. All of that is over. Things happen for a reason. I do believe that one day you'll be a great father but you know we both weren't ready for that. " Her eyes are soft and gentle. It feels as if her words are a hand, softly stroking over the scares on left on my heart and healing the ones that were to deep to heal on their own.

"So we'll try again?" Her words carried hope for a future that included her.

"I'm not saying that. We can't be together.There's nothing but history between us. Nothing more, nothing less. "

"So you don't love me anymore?" I whisper the painful words.

She looks down and nods her head.

"Prove it"

Before she can answer I tilt her head up towards me and kiss her. Trying my level best to compress all my emotions into one lingering kiss.