My Only Love

Chapter 28

It had been almost three months now ever since the intimate incident with Nate and it seemed so long ago and forgotten. That's how she wanted Nate to feel. True to her word she stayed away from being tempted by him. She put all self restrain when he tried to hold her close or kiss her. Setting the limit that it was purely friendship between them and nothing else. A complete turnaround from the mindless abandon she felt for him the last time. Kate knew that could never happen again nor bear the consequences of hurting and losing Ryan.

She knew how much it hurt Nate seeing the helpless and sad look in his eyes. Somehow it caused a barrier between them and he had stopped his advances all too aware of her consistent and obvious rejection. After all no matter how humble Nate's personality was. He still had an ego of a man whose ego had been bruised in more ways than one. Though Sunday's was still a time of bonding between them it seemed restrained and forced which saddened Kate. She knew she was hurting Nate, even maybe putting a dent in their friendship but he had to understand that she had a boyfriend now who loved her and needed her.

But deep inside she missed the closeness she and Nate shared. The tender affection he always gave to her was gone now. He had also developed a wall for her to see that he could do platonic. If that was what pleased her so be it. But they both knew they were just playing a charade and both of them were suffering. Kate in particular. She missed the old Nate who loved to tease and was always affectionate with her. He was not his natural self lately. Yes he was still warm to her, still every bit as caring but she could feel how her rejection closed up all his emotions and Kate feared things may never be the same again.

Her focus now was on Ryan. They were going almost 5 months nowand it was still only goodness and maturity she saw in him. He was always so good and devoted to her still consistently fetching her from work. Even giving her lavished gifts. Being so thoughtful in many ways showing without a doubt how much he loved her.They also read each other's minds now knowing what each other was thinking. Both feeling that they had entered a secure niche in their relationship.

The only sadness she felt was seeing Ryan always under pressure by the demands of his father. The high standards and expectation in everything he did. Constantly aiming for perfection and breathing down his neck for every single thing that boiled to only one thing their business. It was as if he could not fail in his eyes. Kate could see how much he needed her now as she would be there for him. She was after all the only thing that kept him going.

Kate could only look at him seeing how painfully thin he had become. His long sleeves shirt hanging lose as well as his jeans. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face gaunt. How her heart pained to see him that way increased her love for her even more.

It was a Saturday and they were in the mall just strolling around. Ryan had another meeting tonight with a client together with his father. They were by the mall's park area with flowers all around the place and luscious green trees that made the place looked so serene and peaceful. Ryan had a half smile on his face as he looked at her.

Will you still love me if I look like a scarecrow? He asked his eyes seeking hers. The gentle hazel eyes she loved so much.

Oh Ryan. Why do you ask that? You know it doesn't matter. You'll gain it back. And you know I love you.

I think I've lost about ten pounds. Everything I own seems to be havinga very lose fit. I feel and look so old. I look terrible right? Maybe you'd wake up one day and you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me.

She could only hug him to her as he gratefully went into her embrace. How much Ryan needed her now and all Kate's warmth and comfort soothed him taking all the pain away from all his father's domineering ways.