My Only Love

Chapter 60

         It had been almost one week eversince her talk with Ryan, and still that emptiness Kate felt. That space gave her time to think of who she really loved. Nate. She loved Nate with a passion. Remembering all his patience, care and devotion he had given her all throughout the years. She had always just kept a blinded eye just afraid to ruin their friendship. But this time she would go back to him. Grovel if she must to open up her heart and tell him how much he meant to her. The big question was if Nate was going to accept her back but that risk she was willing to take.

Plaguing her conscience however was Ryan how much she was going to hurt him. For all his goodness and understanding it was unfair to go on with a relationship when you know deep inside you love someone else. She loved Ryan she knew but the not the kind of love she had for Nate. The depth of her feelings even surpassing the boundaries of their friendship. Kate knew Ryan felt it. The inevitable was about to come.

Kate could only hold in her bag all the beautiful things Ryan had given her. She didn't deserve those gifts. She wanted to give them back for him to give to someone who would truly love him. She wished Ryan all those wonderful things. A girl who would be fit to be Mrs. Ryan Montgomery. She had never found a guy who she admired and respected more. They shared beautiful times she will never forget but they would hurt even more if they prolong things when each knew it was over. It was time to say goodbye.

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It was a Saturday evening when Ryan came to her house. They both decided to go to the nearby park just to talk as they walked peacefully together each deep in their thoughts. Kate felt a heavy feeling deep inside. This was a sad time for her. Ryan had given all of himself to her. Had been good to her made it even harder to part from him.

They sat by the park bench not saying anything for a moment. But Ryan spoke first his hazel eyes sad looking as if he was going to cry.

It's all over right Kate? Us? I know I feel it with no need for words. The night you cried to me I just knew then how you felt about Nate.

Kate could only touch him. You only realize things once they're gone. It happened with Nate. I always took it forgranted that he would be there for me no matter what. You're the most wonderful guy I know Ryan and I have loved but it would be unfair to you if things go on the way it is.

Ryan nodded and sighed deeply. But not as much as you love Nate. I can feel it Kate. Actually I saw you and Nate by your doorstep the night of your birthday. That slight kiss. The way you looked at him as if he was the most precious person in this earth for you. You never look at me that way Kate. You love Nate without you realizing it. That's why I was so in a hurry to propose cause I didn't want to lose you.

This time there were tears in Kate's eyes for the goodness in this wonderful guy. She hated to lose him but she knew deep down there was only one guy for her. Nate. That was the main reason why even when she was about to give herself to Ryan totally she experienced second thoughts only to find Nate's passionate kisses in her thoughts. She wanted Nate to be her only one and no one else.

Sometimes I tell myself what I've done to deserve you. You've been so wonderful to me in so many ways. Been so good even till the very end.Thank you Ryan for everything. He touched his face seeing the tears in his eyes.

I love you Kate very much that's the reason I'm setting you free. So you can be happy. If there is one thing I wish for on this earth is to see you happy. Nate is a good guy maybe even like mecause he treasured your friendship so much even to the point of sacrificing his heart. The night we first met he cornered me alone. Heasked me of my intentions towards you. I can never forget his words. Saying that he loved you but you chose me instead. But all he wanted was to protect you and no one to hurt you. He made sure I remember that. But he saw how sincere I was and that I really loved you. So we called a truce. Our respect was evident for each other that night.

Kate felt even more touched at the honestly of Ryan. How decent he was in telling her the truth. Others would have marred Nate's character but never Ryan. All these actions on Nate's part made her realize even more how much he loved her. She had indeed made the right choice.

Kate could only place gently in Ryan's lap all the things he gave her. She wanted to return them for him to give to the girl who truly deserves his love.

Kate no. he implored. These are all my gifts to you. I don't want them back they're yours to keep.

Ryan Please. I can't. Please give it to someone who you will love in the future. A girl who will be fit to be Mrs. Montgomery.

Ryan could see thatKate was never materialistic. Others would have kept all of his gifts but never Kate. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he felt she was different. But he knew he can never accept being second best to Nate. Even with Kate's mother he had to do triple the effort to please her. Whereas Kate's mother loved Nate like her own son.Time will tell what will happen to him. All he had to do is move forward. Ryan knew other girls would come and go in his life but never a Kate. Nate was very lucky to have her love.

It was supposed to be you Kate. he said his eyes filled with sadness. But I guess God has other plans for me.

Wonderful plans. She remarked. I wish you all the good things Ryan. Just please tell me we can still be friends? Please Ryan. she begged as they both held hands.

Ryan gave her a ghost of a smile fighting back his tears. His heart breaking. It was time to say goodbye. I'll try Kate. he said softly.

Thank you Ryan for everything.Even remaining my friend no matter how difficult.

It was hard to say goodbye to a guy as wonderful as Ryan. They both knew they would always treasure the good memories of their relationship. They were happy times Kate would never forget.

This time they hugged as friends for the very last time. The chapter of her life with Ryan just ended but for Kate it was just the beginning. Nate's birthday was coming up. She would surprise him. Go back to him maybe even on bended knee. Grovel. Do everything in her power to show Nate how much she loved him.

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