My Only Love

Chapter 14

Kate looked at Ryan looking so happy as they drove back home. It was a Sunday and they practically spent the whole day together. They went to the mall looking for a gift for Ryan cousin's birthday. Exploring every shop and every nook and cranny. They even skated in the mall's ice skating rink which Kate hadn't done in years. Like little kids they were as they stumbled and slid yet truly enjoying themselves. Kate felt like they were a couple now with no need for words. Ryan had kissed her in the skating rink for everyone to see showing to the world that she was his. So sweet and tender that was Ryan. He made her feel so cared for and loved worshipping the ground she walked on. Making her feel like a princess. His princess. It felt wonderful.

But at the back of her mind her thoughts were still on Nate. How he was doing, if he was alright. She knew his personality how affected he was whenever they had petty fights in the past. She recalled how she hurt him with her words. She even said he suffocated her which was hitting him hard and Kate knew he didn't deserve those words. He was this time staying away just as he promised. Looking back on their friendship, Nate had a humble nature, if he was in the wrong he would be at her doorstep the following day saying how sorry he was. But this time, she was the guilty one. She had to get him back or lose their friendship altogether. Even if she was happy with Ryan she felt an emptiness deep inside knowing at the back of her mind things were not good between both of them. She could not afford to lose Nate in her life.

Kate's thoughts went back to Ryan who was singing while driving. He had a very soothing voice that she loved to hear. He even liked old songs sharing a lot of common things with her. He was occupying her days now fetching her every day from work and even planning things during weekends. She loved those moments spent with him but she also wanted time for herself. She also wondered how she could fit Nate into her week. When they would be friends again if Ryan would occupy all her days. She had to be frank and talk to him about it cause she also needed some breathing space.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when she found herself already in front of her place with Ryan grinning at her boyishly.

You were thinking so deeply. I didn't want to interrupt you. He half teased. A penny for your thoughts? Or a dollar perhaps?

She laughed then looking embarrassed. Oh was I? she feigned innocence. I was just thinking about work. The load is getting heavier again and I even have a deadline tomorrow. She lied. She didn't want Ryan to read what was going on in her mind.

Bummer I know what you mean. I hate Mondays and when I think of all the things I have to do in the office. I just want to slack off for awhile. He sighed.

Just happy you're around Kate makes every single day worthwhile. He held her hand then kissing it sending a warm feeling all over her. Ryan had an open face with honesty in his eyes and she knew he meant every word of it.

Flatterer she teased. You always know how to make me feel good.

It's the truth and I never lie. He grinned. So let's say we do something again next Sunday. Saturday is special and Sunday's is being carefree day anything we feel like it.

This was it, everything Kate had been fearing. She needed breathing space. Needed some time for Nate. She and Ryan practically saw each other everyday now and how will Nate fit in? She could not bear to do that to him. She chose her words very carefully.

Ryan saw Kate's change in expression. He saw her hesitation like there was something on her mind. He also realized that maybe he sounded so eager making plans not giving her the chance to voice out what she felt too.

That is if you want to. I also know what to know what you think. He found himself saying.

Kate chose her words carefully afraid to sound harsh or hurt Ryan's feelings. She enjoyed being with him but she also needed time for Nate and herself.

I love our times together Ryan I really do. But I would like to have my Sunday's free. Some things I need to do and maybe spend time with my best friend Nate. I've really been neglecting him lately Ryan. Have to be honest with you about it.

Ryan didn't know what to say at first. Part of him was jealous of Nate deep inside. It seem to be a deep friendship they shared. He just hoped that this friendship was really what that Nate intended and not something else. He could not bear to lose Kate in any way.

He must mean a lot to you. He said quietly. I've never had a girl best friend before so I really cannot relate. He admitted.

I've known Nate for a very long time now and he's been a great friend. But that's how we really are...friends, nothing more. She tried to assure him as he was looking at her.

I hope you'll be okay with that Ryan. Nate came before you and he use to visit me everyday before he goes to his classes at Harvard. But things have changed now and I've been neglecting him. So I hope you'll understand.

Ryan swallowed hard, the guy visited her every day. He had a gut feeling her best friend was in love with her. But what could he do? Kate was right whoever he was, he had been around even before he met her. There was also that determined look in Kate's eyes that meant she wanted this whether he approved or not.

All this talk about Nate makes me jealous. He sighed with a shaky laugh. Well if it makes you happy what can I do.

Ryan had given his blessing whatever made Kate happy he would try to go along with it and understand for her sake. But deep inside he was not comfortable with it.

She hugged him instantly. You're the sweetest and the most wonderful! And don't be jealous. Nate is just a friend. I've known him forever.

Ryan tried to smile for Kate's benefit. He didn't say anything but just held her tightly in his arms. Loving her so much. This coming Saturday he had everything planned after an elegant dinner he would finally tell her how he felt. He wanted her to be his girlfriend. To stake his claim on her that she was his. He was not going to let Nate get the upper hand. Cause he felt Nate had hidden feelings for Kate. A guy's gut feeling. He was a guy he knew. No guy would visit a friend every single day if he didn't love her. This Nate did even if Ryan hadn't met him.

Ryan loved Kate it was time to tell her how he really felt. A love that he intended to prove to her day by day. Pretty soon Nate would just fade into the picture.

Kate on the other hand felt relieved talking to Ryan. So happy he understood, he was so mature in so many ways. She loved that about him. They were like a couple now unofficially but she knew deep in her heart that she was finally in love. In love, not because she was overwhelmed with Ryan's riches but Ryan as a person who was gentle and kind. Good in every sense, compassionate and understanding. Charming and witty and all those great things. She was happy with him. Funny how things were happening so fast. She was finally having her first real boyfriend.

Her main focus now was to get Nate back. She missed him so much. She could not bear to lose his friendship over such a petty fight. Even if she had to grovel or plead. She had too much pride Nate use to tell her but this time she was willing to swallow it for the sake of their friendship. She would go to him Monday make a so called client call in his area. Bring him a dozen roses and the biggest I'm sorry chocolate. The biggest block ever. That ought to melt him down she thought. She smiled feeling happy that at last she had found a solution. Wait till Monday comes Nate. I miss you. She said out loud.

D;?X