Let's Talk Fanfiction!! {Closed}

Reedpaw

(Any terrible puns are made by the creator of this character, @Fire_flicker564. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!)

Fandom: Warriors!!

Name(s): Reedkit, Reedpaw, Reedpelt

Gender: Tom

Clan: Riverclan

Rank: Apprentice currently (haha see what I did there? CURRENTly? Ya know rivers have currents...never mind)

Age: 6 moons

Fur/pelt: His pelt is a reddish-brown the color reeds on river banks. There are flecks of brown so he always looks kinda muddy. His fur is long and thick like most Riverclan cats.

Eyes: He has green eyes.

Personality: Reedpaw is a feisty and determined young cat. He makes friends very easily, especially at gatherings, and doesn't think much of clan boundaries. It bugs him that the Clams can't get along because he has a crush on a Windclan apprentice and he hates that he can't pursued that. He can be a little arrogant/egotistical but those traits don't come out often.

Strengths: Swimming, fishing, arguing (it's a strength and a weakness), making friends, handling the kits.

Weaknesses: Arguing, he's a late sleeper and hates dawn patrol (but he's not lazy), keeping his mouth shut

Likes: Sunpaw (Windclan crush), rainy days, playing with the kits, training, trout (his favorite food)

Dislikes: Shadowclan, Clan boundaries, feeling trapped, being confined, bullies/cats who pick on each other for no good reason

Backstory: When Reedpaw was born his front left paw was twisted. Because of this he was confined to the nursery for quite a while and he hated it. This is why he hates feeling confined. The medicine cat was doing everything he could to straighten out his paw and it slowly straightened out, but the paw was very weak, and it took time for him to be able to walk on it. Eventually he regained his strength and was able to work around the annoying weakness. His mentor didn't treat him like some poor crippled kit, in fact, she pushed him twice as hard as the others. She refused to allow this one thing become his handicap. Despite his weakness, he wasn't depressed or quiet like most cats would be. He was determined to stand out and never fade into the background. He met Sunpaw by accident when he wandered too close to the Windclan boundaries. She chased him out and swatted his nose because he tried to "flirt" with her. They met again at a Gathering and the first thing she said to him was,"So, how's that nose healing up?" His mentor scolded him for becoming a little too friendly with Windclan but he didn't care. Our story starts with him becoming an apprentice.

Other/extra info: When he becomes really stressed or strains himself his old limp shows up.

So when I first looked over this, I thought it was going to be some average Warriors fan character. The crush from another clan, the friendly and determined apprentice.
And then I saw his injury.
I literally had to stop and reread the profile again because it caught me off-guard. And that's a thing I love about Reedpaw– his injury doesn't effect the relationships he has with his clan mates or makes him depressed. At the same time, he does have issues with this problem, and I'm glad you took the time to incorporate that. His mentor sounds amazing.
Reedpaw has a good mix of traits. He seems like a good-natured kind of tom, but he doesn't like the clan boundaries. I don't see many stories where the apprentice hates the borders. Usually I see them snarling at the opposite clans, boasting about how great their own clan is. So nice job there!

What I didn't like so much is the fact he doesn't like "bullies/cats who pick on each other for no good reason" because I find this trait way too often in main characters these days. I don't think anyone would pick on anybody else for no reason– not that I'm supporting bullying or anything, but anyone being a "bully" isn't going to tease somebody else without real reasoning. For instance, when Scourge was a kit (back when he was Tiny), his siblings picked on him a lot. Sometimes what they did was down right cruel, like when his sister told him unwanted kittens were thrown in the river. But it wasn't like they didn't have a reason. Scourge's mother did appear to pick favorites, and since he was the smallest, she was naturally going to treat him different from the others.
Keep that in mind when writing Reedpaw's story, because while this trait isn't necessarily bad, it's not something you want to put in his profile.

Another thing: be extremely careful when writing his love story. There are so many fanfictions out there with cats from different clans falling head over paws and having kits, and so many times the ideas are repeated. Seriously, be severely cautious with this. Some writers can pull it off, and some writers copy/paste Dovewing and Tigerheart's story.

7/10.

You did really good with this character, especially when it came to his "weakness", and I enjoyed the puns. But there are a couple of things that are not only quite common in Warriors OCs, they're often written horribly. Maybe your's will be different. Hopefully.

Welp, I hoped I was a bit of help!
Vote!
Comment!
And I will see YOU in the next chapter!