Let's Talk Fanfiction!! {Closed}

Lucille Evergreen

This is Hufflepuff-Fangirl_5 's story.

Fandom: Original story

Nickname: Lucy, Luce

Age: 13

Appearance: Lucille stands at 4'3, but tends to look a bit smaller due to her lack of posture. Her eyelashes curl naturally and are longer than most girls. She has ocean blue eyes that are too far and wide apart, giving her a baby face. She has a chipped tooth from trying to ride her bike down a concrete hill. Her hair is dyed a bubble gum pink color, due to a prank from her brother, but she ended up liking it, so she kept it and now dyes it every three months to keep the color. Her lips are small and round and she has a button nose, with freckles splattered across her eyes. She has a few minor scars on her face and body from rough housing.

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Homosexual

Crush/relationship: She develops a crush on a girl named Violet Hanson

Personality: Lucille tends to be shy around new people, but she warms up fairly quickly. She's an excitable fangirl who believes all her ships are cannon, despite evidence of the opposite. She tends to rant when she is passionate about something and gets embarrassed unusually easy. When she's embarrassed, she'll usually lash out and say some pretty messed up stuff to people in an attempt to hide her discomfort. She thinks ice cream can solve every problem in the entire universe.

Quirks: She has to be moving when she's daydreaming- tapping her foot, running around, jumping, etc.

Likes: Hamilton (musical), Heathers (musical), Harry Potter (only the books), thunderstorms, rain, snow, the smell of earth after rain, hot chocolate, reading, sleeping, ice cream

Dislikes: The dark, death, bullies, backstabbers, spiders, snakes, urban legends, dogs, candles, frosting, cake, anything remotely creepy, chickens (her friend has some and they peck the hell out of her)

Fears: Dogs, urban legends, horror stories, horror movies, the dark, spiders, snakes, clowns, death, being kidnapped, dying, someone she loves dying

Talents: Ballet, cooking, art, sewing, she's fairly good at creative writing

Positive Traits: She's a naturally kind person, she'll accept people no matter their sexuality or religion, she doesn't judge people for their flaws because she knows that she has her own.

Flaws: She sometimes throws a hissy fit if she doesn't get her way, lashes out when she's embarrassed, scared-Y cat, slow, weak, can never make up her mind, she tends to overreact about everything, she lets her emotions overrule her common sense, she has a really bad lisp. So if she said," I'm Lucy, it's super nice to meet you!" It would sound like," I'm Luthy, it'th thuper nithe to meet you!"

Family: Marlene Evergreen (Mother), Jacob Evergreen (Father), Micheal Evergreen (15-year-old brother), Rose Evergreen (two-year-old sister)

Friends: Violet Hansen (13-year-old girl who is a bit on the chubby side, although she wouldn't be considered fat, with curly brown hair and green eyes), John Thompson (12 year old boy with messy, dirty blonde curls that almost completely cover his eyes)

Enemies: Heather Jacobs (Tall 13 year old girl with an hour glass figure, long black hair that reaches down to her waist, almond shaped dark brown eyes. She would be pretty if it weren't for that awful expression on her face that looked like she was sucking on a lemon.)

Background: She grew up in a fairly happy, but noisy, home and moved when her parents got divorced. She lives with her mother and sister, but visits her father and brother every weekend (unless she's spending the night at a friend's)

Ready?
Cool.

Okay, so, not a bad character. Having a teenage character is a tad cliche, but there's nothing wrong with it so long as she isn't a master at something.
She has a great appearance, a nice balance of good and bad traits, and her background is all right. She has some rational fears and a fantastic quirk. The lisp was also a nice touch.
Though it does irk me that her enemy has "that" kind of appearance. By that I mean, you can tell immediately by the description that she's a mean girl. But I'm not counting off for this, it's just something I'd caution against.

9/10.

Good job with the character and keep up the good work!