Let's Talk Fanfiction!! {Closed}

I IS A WEEABOO

What's up, dorks, geeks, and fan freaks? Winter Break is here and that means the moment you've all been waiting for has finally arrived!

Y'know, if you spent these past couple of weeks waiting for a rant book written by a procrastinating, backwards-ass logical thinking, awkward and antisocial teenage girl who's writing is worth dick diddly.

Wow, what self-esteem!

So get ready to be disappointed in me for typing this up and yourself for even clicking on this junk. Because today's topic reveals more random shit than any other topic I've covered.

Let's talk Insanity.

Most of you reading this are probably thinking," Are you kidding me? You've already talked about mental illnesses and batshit crazy bitches. What else could you possibly talk about?"

Well...it turns out, there's a lot more I could discuss that just branches off of these subjects. But most of them sound like me beating a dead horse.

The "insanity" I'm going to refer to today lies within the characters that I see so often but aren't really considered a cliche in most rant books that I've read.

The Random Person.

No, I don't mean there was just some random person thrown into a plot or a scene or whatnot. I mean a person people would describe as "random" or "crazy".
Or if you're thirteen year old me, "insane".

The person who is so twisted that every word, thought, or action is completely unpredictable.

Except not, and let me tell you why.

I've seen the Random Person in a lot of fanfics, and often the writer will add them in for some sort of comic relief.

Need someone to pull a prank?
Get the Random Person.

Need two crushes to be together?
Random Person's got your back.

Need someone to scare the crap out of teachers?
The Random Person will do this for free.

People try to act like that "Random
Person" in real life, too, and I find it extremely annoying. To actually be crazy is one thing. To try to be crazy is a completely different thing. You'll come off as annoying.

So if you're trying your hardest to make someone with a mad personality or you suddenly think that it'd be a marvelous idea to be verifiably insane for a couple of days....well....here's a few pointers.

What's the Quirk?
Or rather, what could make someone consider this person crazy?
Most people at school– namely nosy teens in the grades below mine– have often asked my younger sister if I'm suffering from some sort of mental instability or if I'm a druggie. Not because I smell like weed or dress like a slob– I do neither of those things and I'd prefer to stay that way. They say those things because I act a tad strange, to put it nicely.
I bring this up because most people who call themselves "insane" don't have messed up personalities or attitudes. They just say things that they think are random. If you're making a crazed character, add in a few things that most people would find strange.

For instance, my Ag teacher is actually terrified of anything that might come out of my mouth thanks to the fact that I mentioned watching Dan and Phil play a Horse Dating Simulator one time. To any other fellow YouTuber fan, this would've been normal. To everyone else, this was an immediate danger sign nailed to my forehead.
News of that eventually spread around the school, and I guess it didn't help that I challenged a boy to a Pokemon battle on Pajama Day when we both wore Pikachu Onesies.
So now when one of my classes are locked out of the classroom and I offer to break in, no one bothers questioning it. Actually, I did that once and the only response I got was from some kid who told his friend," Oh, yeah. She can do it. She's done some crazy shit, man."

But while actions do speak louder than words and actually doing crazy things can make your character appear messed up, attitude is also a key ingredient in making someone insane.

Not every jacked up individual has a "random" attitude. For the most part, I act like a pessimistic asshole with bursts of a giggly bitch in between.
And I cuss.
A lot.
Hey, nobody's perfect and I'm pretty proud of the wacky shit that comes out of my mouth.

For anyone else who people consider "crazy", they're either some of the sweetest people I know or are depressed. In all honesty, the only mad person I know who bounces off walls is me. But that's what happens when you don't sleep for five months and then get a concussion by fangirl tackling your best friend.

...it's a really dumb story and once again I'm getting off topic.

So let's say you've done all this. You've got the attitude, you've got the perfect add ins of quirkiness. You think you're practically ready to go.

But what about the first impression?

In any story, as in real life, it is extremely important how you introduce a character. And most people who first bring in their Random Person make it either as "random" as possible or just blatantly state," Oh yeah, this is *insert totally original name here*, and she's missing a few screws."

Well same mother ducker, but that's not how I make a first impression.

A crazy person doesn't have to be noticeably crazy on that first meet. Heck I greet every new person I meet with a," I'm the local smart ass around these parts."
Or you could just be normal and say hi instead.
What I'm trying to say is you don't always have to make a crazy person obviously messed up right off the bat. Let it sink in. Blow the minds of the readers. Make us hate them– or love them.

The last thing I really think should be talked about, but for some reason isn't, is what actual randomness is.
If a person "randomly" starts spouting things about puppies and kittens and rainbows and giant fluffy unicorns that barf cupcakes, then I'm gonna take a guess and say that they're not truly random. Those are all the generic things someone who's trying to be random will say.

Have the random moments be surprising, but not so much that it feels completely out of place and unnecessary. Like for instance, have your characters be riding in a car and have them pass these road workers digging up a giant hole to fix a busted pipe.
Then have The Random Person say," Nice hole. I wonder how many bodies could fit in that?"

Or have The Random Person get into a spat with someone and instead of saying the annoying and overused insults and threats, have them calmly say," If I cut your leg off and hit you with it, would that be hitting you or kicking you?"

And it doesn't just have to be disturbing things pouring out of their mouths. On days when I feel like keeping things PG-13, I use a lot of different curses to keep things interesting. I mean..yeah, it's gotten me some weird looks and whatnot, but whatever, right?

Examples:
•O CHROIST (like moist, but..not)
•Diddly doop bop
•Frick Frack Diddly Whack
•Holy Son of a Biscuit
•SHOOT FIRE

Or you could always dig deep down into your inner fan freak and use fan-based slang.

•Mother of STARCLAN
•Foxdung
•Son of a Mapleshade
•Spawn of the Dark Forest
•Dear Chaos

But that's all just me and my lovely opinion– if we can even call it that anymore.

Question of the Day: How crazy are you?
Seriously. Tell me what crazy shit you guys do. Or why people think you're crazy. Or heck, maybe you know a friend who's a little wonky in the head?

So VOTE!
COMMENT!
And as always, I will see YOU in the next rant!!!!