Let's Talk Fanfiction!! {Closed}

Elle Jona Steph

This is Emoonie 's OC.

Fanfiction: Original

Nickname: None

Age: 16-17

Birthday: August 30

Appearance: She has light, fair skin and dark green eyes. She is 5'5 and weighs 125 pounds. She has a round nose and lots of freckles. She has a small scar on her cheek that is really noticeable, she is very insecure about it. She has a dainty figure and is quite content on her appearance.

Sexuality: Questioning

Crush/relationship: Quinn Mason

Species: Human

Illness or disease: She has PTSD.

Reason for illness: Zombie apocalypse. She will jump or run if she sees something move too quickly.

Positive traits: She is very protective of her loved ones and is usually a calm person. She is pretty loud but in a good way. She treats Quinn like a goddess.

Flaws: She is only protective when she is around Quinn. She wants to impress her. She doesn't get along with her step/half brother, she doesn't care if the zombies try to attack him. Lucky for him, he moves pretty quickly and is a decent fighter. She will leave people behind easily, unless it's her love interest.

Death: Quinn was turned into a zombie and happened to bit Elle. Her step/half brother sliced her head off immediately afterward.

Okie ready to do this?
Me neither!

To start this off, I think you did very well when describing her appearance. The facial blemishes were a nice touch.
Additionally, her sexuality and overall possessiveness of her love interest were added in smoothly.
The reasoning for her mental issue is a good one, though I will caution against using this in a cliched way. Remember to have this problem effect her in the story in some way, even if it's small.
And her death was done nicely.

On the other hand, I found this character a little bland. I know she's protective of one person and is calm and loud and really doesn't like her brother.
But aside from that, there's nothing significant about her. I suggest adding in more traits and making her personality a tad more descriptive.

8/10.

Again, a nice character, but more description is needed.

So vote and comment, and I'll see you around, my dudes!