A Boy Named Rae

The Freakout

Is he ignoring me, did I do something wrong? 'Come on Justin, don't be that person, obsessed with there boyfriend 24/7' I thought to myself. But I just wanted a text back, make sure he made it home, didn't get kidnapped by clowns, or attacked by a raccoon, or maybe even robbed by a homeless guy. I guess now I'm crazy now, I haven't even seen a homeless person in this town.
I decided to just let it go, I got up to get some breakfast. My dad was already gone, at work, so I had to fend for myself. I could of made some toast, or eggs, I mean I had the stuff, but the donuts on the table looked better, and I was too lazy to make some real food, I used all my energy cleaning my closet.
I was still pretty tired, I stayed up pretty late and woke up pretty early, I decided I'd take a nap.
A couple hours pasted..
Me: "NOO"
I sat up so fast, I went one minute sleeping perfectly fine, to waking up sweaty, and shaken. After I yelled I heard foot steps leading to my room.
I hear my door handle open, and I'm walks my dad.
Dad: "Justin, what's the matter, are you okay"
I look around the room, I'm dizzy, I feel like I'm going to faint, something. Sweat still rolls down my head, dripping onto my blanket.
Me: "Wh- what's going on"
My dad has a worried look on his face.
Dad: "Justin, are you okay?"
Me: "Yeah, I just had a dream, a bad one. I just need some water."
I turn to get up, then I'm stopped.
Dad: "No Justin, lay down, I'll get you some."
I still feel out of breath, still sweating.
Me: "Thanks."
My dad walks out of the room.
This dream, it was so real. What was my dream? I'll tell you my dream, Raegan, the only one that makes me happy right now, he gone, he died. I mean it couldn't be real. The bus, as soon as it got close, and hit him.. I woke up. So it had to be nothing but a bad dream.
My dad comes back into my room, handing me the glass of water.
Dad: "I have to grab stuff for dinner, now are you going to be okay?"
Me: "No, yeah I'll be fine.."
Dad: "Okay... but Justin, call me if you need anything"
Me: "Okay."
Dad: "I'm serious"
Me: "I will"
Dad: "ok, I'll be back soon"
My dad leaves the room, I drink the water, all of the water. I frantically start looking for my phone. I check my texts from Raegan, he still hasn't texted me back. I mean what if he died, I called him, *no answer*
I start to shake, I call him agian, and agian, no answer. That's when I started texting him, I didn't even hesitate before pressing send.
Me:
*Raegan*
*Plaese answer me*
*call me or text me, something*
There's still nothing, I start crying, I couldn't do it, the tears let our. Tears start dropping on my phone screen. I don't stop texting him.
*Raegan please*
*This isn't how it was suppose to be*
*I need you*
*You can't just be gone*
Still nothing, so I call one last time. I let it go to voice mail.
Phone: " Please leave your message at the beep, *beep*"
Me: "Raegan, plaese, your the only one, you were supposed to be here for me, yo can't leave, you just can't..."
I start crying in tears putting my phone down, I hang the phone up. I grab a pillow, screaming crying in it. I didn't know what to do, so I sat there. Crying. Alone.
Then, my phone rings, I don't even care who it is at this point, I answer it without even looking to see who it was. I hold it up to my hear, and a voice speaks, a worried voice.
Voice: "Justin, Justin are you there?!?"
Me: "Raegan?"
Raegan: "Yeah, it's me, I got your texts, and voicemail, what's wrong, are you okay?!?"
After just hearing his voice, I still let out tears. I thought it was real, but thank god it wasn't.
Me: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh."
Raegan: "Justin. What's wrong"
Me: "You didn't answer, then I thought your were gone."
Raegan: "What are you talking about? Are you sure your alright"
Me: "I texted you yesterday, and yo- you never answered, and I tried not to worry, bu- but then I had a dream that you got hit by a car and died"
Raegan: "That's a little harsh."
Me: "What?"
Raegan: "Nothing. You don't have to cry I'm here, I'm right here"
Turns out he was there, as soon as he said there there was a knock at my door, and it was Raegan. I hung up the phone and he came over to me giving me a hug.
Raegan: "Poor baby. Are you sure your okay"
Me: "Yeah, I'm- I'm fine, Ho- How did you get here so fast."
Raegan: "As soon as I saw your texts, I started walking here, I was on my way here before I even called you. "
Me: "I'm just glad your here"
Raegan: "Me too"
I let go of his hug.
Me: "Your going to think I'm crazy now, I never did this before, I just had a small panic attack or something. Please, just don't leave."
I was going to keep going on but Raegan stopped me.
Raegan: "Hey, hey Justin look at me."
I look at Raegan.
Raegan: "I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here."
Raegan calmed me down, at this point I really hope he doesn't think I'm crazy.
At this point I'm laying in bed, under my covers. Raegan's sitting on the edge of my bed, brushing his hand over me shoulder comforting me.