Home/Shawn Mendes

Part 105

Shawn:

Maya was on my mind the entire night. I sang songs with her on my mind, forgetting some lyrics and obviously dedicating 'Memories' to her at the end of my show. Like any other night.

Physically I was there, but spiritually, I wanted to get on a plane and fly back home.

Just to be with her, comfort her as she comforts me. I just really miss her and long for the time that I can spend with her.

I'm longing to hold her again, feel her touch and kisses on my lips. Her fingers brushing through my hair as she locks her eyes on mine.

Living in the moment with her is something indescribable.

"Hey dude are you okay? You were at the show but you weren't, at the show." Geoff said as he walked up to me after I got off stage. I sighed, sitting down on the couch before we have to go back on the bus.

"I just... I miss Maya. I want to go home." I said, wiping my eyes as I stood up, walking to the back door where the buss is parked. Luckily this time we did the meet and greet before the show, so I don't have to go out now with bloodshot red eyes and a runny nose to take pictures with my fans.

I looked down at my phone.

The time.

I'm 7hours behind Maya.

I can't even call her now to hear her voice. All I do this time of night is listening to her old voice notes she sent me. Reminding me of her laugh, making me see her smile in my mind, hearing her voice and 'I love you's'.

God I miss her so much.

I wish she was here. I let out a deep breath before opening the door to my buss and stepping inside.

"So I decided to come earlier." I heard and looked up to see Brian sitting on the chair, flipping through a magazine. "Brian!" I exclaimed, rushing up to him and swooping him up into a big bear hug. My lifelong friend.

Out of pure sadness and extreme joy, I started crying onto his shoulder. "Please sit. Sit. How- what? When did you get here." I asked, wiping my nose and eyes as I sat down in the chair opposite him. "We landed a few hours ago." I heard the voice of my angel.

I looked to the side to see Maya, my sister and Lauren all here. My heart can't take this.

"No way." I cried, resting my head in my hands as I still just sat on the chair. Taking it all in. It took a moment to settle in and sink down but once it did I jumped up and wrapped my arms around her. "I miss you so much." I cried onto her shoulder, feeling her tears wetting the spot on my shirt. "I missed you too." She mumbled into my neck, leaving a small kiss that I missed so much.

I pulled away, greeting my sister and Lauren as well. We all sat at the table, cathing up and talking. I told them a lot about my tour so far and Maya just kept all her attention on me.

I can't stop looking at her though too.

After we talked, we separated for a while as Brian and Lauren went out to the shops and Aaliyah said she wanted to take a nap.

"Can we talk about this." I whispered to Maya as we lied down on my bed. "It's hard, I know. But what if they made a mistake?" I said, taking her hand in mine. She sighed heavily before looking up at me.

Tears pooling in her eyes as her nose turned this pink shade.

She's been crying for a long time, clearly this is breaking her more than it is breaking me.

"And what if they didn't?" She croaked out, hearing the pain in her voice as her eyes locked on mine. "We'll never know if we don't try." I said, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

I really want a family with Maya. No matter what it takes, I want to just have a baby with her.

"We've been trying for a year Shawn. What will make this time any different than the rest?" She's giving up.

She believes that they were right about the testing. She doesn't even want to try.

"It'll be different because we really want this. I know you want this just as much as I want it. Please Maya. Baby. Don't give up." I whispered to her. Her eyes still locked on mine before she crashed her lips to mine.
Cupping my cheek and running her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. God I missed her kisses.

"I love you so much." I said, kissing her again. "I love you more." She whispered, her warm breath caressing my skin, making me smile as the heat rises up to my cheeks.