Byrd
My boys. My two handsome boy. Being able to spend time with them like this is a blessing and I'm so glad they're mine. I can't thank Raidyn enough for helping me create these two perfect humans.
Ries plays with his favorite magical toy boat that Alana bought for the two of them. Hollis could care less he just likes to run, jump and dance around. Hollis likes his blanket and stuffed animals better anyways. He's nearly one year old and I can't believe it, just like I still can't believe that I'm pregnant with my third, another son, or maybe--hopefully, a daughter.
I lay on the ground with the boys as they climb on top of me and play, both of them laughing brings me immediate joy. Ries runs his boat over my stomach as Hollis plays with my long hair getting tangled in it.
Ries stands up and begins chasing Hollis, who in return chases after him. Riesner turns invisible and it's my cue to join him--until Hollis starts crying thinking he's alone. I pick him up and kiss his cheek while returning to myself and he starts to calm down from crying.
"Mama! Watch me, mama!" Ries cries for attention.
"Mama!" Hollis yells back.
"Okay boys." I sit down on the floor and open my arms wide and they race toward me knocking into me and giving me a big hug. "Oh I love you both so much." I kiss each of their foreheads. "You guys are going to have a little brother or sister."
Hollis doesn't really understand so he continues playing with the end of my sweater.
"No!" Ries shouts and runs away to grab his toy boat and throws it.
"That's not nice, Riesner Milo." I give him a pointed look. "Pick your toy back up."
Ries gives me a sad look and pouts.
"Riesner Rastifen don't give me that look." I give him the same authoritative look. "Mama is in charge, you listen."
"Mama." He whines and stomps his foot.
I look out the window and notice the rain is coming down hard. I look over at Hollis who looks content--I know it's not him. I ignored the rain for a few seconds to take care of the boys and discipline Ries.
I head out the door after Alana walks in to see Raidyn, Finn, and Astrid talking outside my chambers.
"It's okay to tell her." Astrid says putting her hand on Raidyn's shoulder.
"What's going on?" I startle them.
"Can you look into my eyes?" Raidyn eyes, bloodshot still- must be still from this morning, only they've gotten worse. His voice is scratchy and low.
"Why? You're scaring me." I take a step back. "Just tell me what's going on." I look between my brother and best friend.
"Byrd." Raidyn coughs out, glaring at me and awaiting my gaze.
"Raidyn." I respond sternly. I sigh and end up giving in looking into his red eyes watching as his start to swirl.
"You will not miscarry from the news I am about to give you. You still can react, you still can feel, but this will not affect our child." His voice wavers in and out in volume. He breaks the eye contact and takes a deep breath. "It's Raph, he's been...he's been killed."
My breath gets caught in my throat and I'm not even sure how to react to any of this--like what I'm hearing isn't even real. I want to cry, want to scream, but nothing. It's not hitting me like it's supposed to, not yet at least. "I'll start making funeral arrangements. Finn, you should probably contact his father as soon as possible." I say simply with no hint of sadness in my voice. I turn on my heel and head into the chambers calmly, Raidyn follows in behind me.
