It was late in the afternoon when Ashton went home. Kung hindi ko siya pinilit ay mukhang hindi pa siya aalis. He texted me. Noong gabi ring iyon ay tinawagan niya ako. It felt surreal. It felt like I was taken back to the time when we were in high school.
Kinurot ko ang aking sarili, nagbabaka-sakaling magising mula sa panaginip na iyon. It didn't help. I am not dreaming.
The hollow space in my heart seem to be filled. But at the back of my head, may bumubulong sa aking dapat ay bigyan ko pa rin ang aking sarili ng distansya. Dapat hindi ito minamadali. Hindi naman dahil nalaman naming ganoon ang aming nararamdaman para sa isa't isa, gagatungan na namin iyon.
We should take it slow. We should have some catching up... or anything. I just don't know how to start something like that.
Ashton:
Good morning!
Kinusot ko ang aking mata. I checked the sender and clearly saw that it was Ashton. Kanina pa iyong mga bandang alas sais ng umaga.
Me:
Good morning.
Nang makabangon ay tumunog ang aking cellphone, hudyat ng panibagong mensahe mula kay Ashton. I took a bath quickly before I opened his message.
Ashton:
Hmm. Any plans for today? :)
Sinuklay ko ang aking buhok gamit ang mga daliri.
Me:
Maybe I'll clean my condo.
Mabilis ang kanyang mga sumunod na reply. Wala ba siyang ginagawa? Sabagay, Linggo naman. Maybe he's just in his home or something.
Pagkatapos kong makapagpaalam ay lumabas ako upang magluto ng breakfast. I turned on the tv for the sounds. Ang mga boses mula sa telebisyon ang bumalot sa aking unit habang hinihintay kong maluto ang omelet para sa akin.
Hindi mawala sa aking isipan ang mga nangyari kahapon. It all happened so fast.
Ashton's reasons seemed a bit funny to me. Napangiwi ako habang inililipat ang naluto sa isang blankong pinggan. He could've asked me, really. Ang mga inisip niyang magsasawa ako ay hindi naman totoo. Hindi imposible ang mga iyon ngunit alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi iyon mangyayari.
I will probably never love another man this way. I will never love any other man after him. I was sure of that. And I still am.
Sa murang edad namin ay totoong pagdududahan ang aming mga damdamin noon. But young love doesn't necessarily mean temporary love. Maybe some young love couldn't make it. But some can grow. Grow into another kind of love.
"Oh, bakit?" Pambungad kong bati kay Sabrina na nasa kabilang linya.
"You biz?" Aniya.
"Maglilinis lang ako ngayon," I sat on the couch. "Bakit?"
"Can we come over tonight?" Tanong niya sa akin. "Dinner lang. Uuwi rin."
BINABASA MO ANG
Totoo na ba ito?
RomansaMaddison never hoped to fall for Ashton. But when she does, she gets her heart broken mercilessly. Her high hopes were for nothing. She was just led on, used for fun and past-time. It was all lies. You'll never really know when it is real.
