The Struggles Of Jayonce !♥[EDITING]

Scared And Lonely!♥

Beyonce P.O.V

Its been a couple of days since that whole thing went down .I live in a hotel because there is no reason for me to be with Justin right now . I don't want to be with him but I do . its just complicated . I am always tierd and horney . Its times like this that I wish I was with Jay . I am thinking about going over there just to fuck him because I need a couple things from over there. I dont think there is anything wrong with fucking your husband before getting a divorce right? let me call him and tell him I'm stopping by .

*calls jay*

Beyonce: Hey umm I am stopping by to get some things .

Jay: When are you going to be here ?

Beyonce: in 5 min maybe .

Jay: alright what ever bey .

He doesnt seem to be that hurt or upset with me which is good . Thats gives me a better chance to get some .

Jay P.O.V

Beyonce has the fucking nerve to just call like there is no problem. She lucky I have company and I didnt want to have a argument while she is here . I really do miss Beyonce but she hurt me so much and I want nothing to do with her anymore .

*Beyonce comes by and uses her key*

Beyonce: Oh hey ..

Jay: You could have knocked .. You dont live here remeber ?

Beyonce: Yea your right should I give my key to your little whore ?

Jay: Beyonce dont call her A FUCKING WHORE ! *to Keisha* sorry about her .

Beyonce: Dont make apologies for me because I meant what I said . She is a REPLACEMENT... BUT BOO IM IRREPLACEABLE!

Kiesha: Um Beyonce right?no disrespect but I dont want your man . and if I wanted him I damn sure could have him so dont push me.

Beyonce: Bitch you can have his cheating ass but for sure YOU CANT DO WHAT I DO TOO HIM !

Keisha: Trust me I can do way more then you can imagine .

Beyonce: Well you have run with him. He cant even FUCK RIGHT !

Keisha: Actually I don't know what wrong with you but he can put it down just fine to me and that thing he does with his tounge is OMG .

Beyonce: YOU FUCKED HER AND DID THE TRICK !

Jay: Yeah why do you care ?

Beyonce: Good question... I don't !

Jay: Then get your shit and leave unless ypu trying to give me head .

Beyonce: Is that all I was too you? Good head ?

Jay: .....

Beyonce: Wow okay ... *goes to the room*

Beyonce P.O.V

I cant believe he fucked her and ate her out . That tounge trick was for me only he told me on our honey moon . I guess I was wrong he never loved me . He just loved what I can do to him . I figures it out thats why he always cheated because he never LOVED me he loved my body but now that i am fat he could never love me again . now that I figured that out I need to wright it down so i will never forget this because this pregnancy brain is terrible.

*writing*

If I wasn't pregnant would he take me back . If I wasnt fat would he fight for me ? Should i just kill my baby to have him back ? Will my baby ever forgive me ? I love him and i dont want to let him go but the only way to have him is if my body is right ... right? He never loved me just my body and what it could do for him . what is love anyways ? is it emotional or physical or what ? because all I know is that no one loves me . My father raped me ? My ex raped me ? and they said they loved me ? is loving someone just getting sex ? My husband cheated and fucked me .... is that love ? Is everything I write a lie? The happiness, smiles , laughes , fun is that not love ? The one thing that isnt a lie is I RATHER DIE YOUNG THEN LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM ..Is love real? is it fake ? a fairytale? and dream? or is it just an excuse to get into my pants ?