Faith's PoV
saturday 9th december
9:00pm
i finished shopping with Amara 4 hours ago.
i feel like shit.
i got home and cried for hours.
i don't know what happened..
well.. i do.
trying on clothes, looking at myself in the mirror, i hate it. i hate my body. i hate myself.
i don't know what's wrong with me. i thought i'd gotten over my anorexia.. i guess not.
my depression also doesn't help at all, nor does my anxiety. i stared at myself in the mirror in top shop and just hated the sight. after that, my anxiety kicked in. i started worrying about others and how they looked at me.. i hate being judged, i hate attention. i hate it. after all that it just started making me feeling depressed, and that's when i decided i was done and sonwe left. Amara wasn't too happy but i guess she realised i didn't feel the best.
She doesn't know. about anything that has been going on with me. i just told her i wasn't feeling well and so we left. she dropped me off and i went inside and just sat on my bed.
Rye texted me, every hour. i didn't reply.. i'm not in a good state of mind to talk. however knowing he was there, checking in on me i guess, did make me feel a little better.
i was shopping for 3 hours, we came back at 5pm. it's now 9pm, and i haven't eaten since lunch.
i had mcdonald's fries cause why not.
i regret that though, but don't at the same time. it's mcdonald for god sake they're fries are amazing. yet fattening.
i'm still crying and i have no idea why. the more i cry the worst i feel, and not being able to stop.. well yeah.
i lay back on my bed and cover myself in blankets, letting my thoughts take over in sleep..
i hate sleep. but that's all i can try and do right now..
Rye's PoV
saturday 9th december
9:04pm
I'm beyond worried. Faith said she'd text me back but she hasn't. i haven't heard from her in 7 hours, and i don't think that's good..
i've texted her, a lot actually.. but she hasn't replied but i have a feeling she's seen my messages.
faith❤️
HEY HOWS SHOPPING
GOING?
3:04pm
Are you back? ❤️
4:56pm
hey? x
5:34pm
Faitthhhh babeee
6:29pm
hey you okay..?
7:45pm
faith..
8:01pm
are you okay faith?
8:20pm
babe..?
8:32pm
somethings up :(
8:45pm
talk to me..
8:52pm
faith.. please..
9:01pm
delivered
i know something's up.. i don't know why, i just have a weird feeling. but i decide to leave it for another 10 minutes just in case..
i'm sat in my bunk with brook fast asleep on my shoulder. We'd been watching "Stranger Things" pretty much since 2pm and haven't stopped. well, until he fell asleep at around 8pm.
i've been stuck in my bunk with him asleep on my shoulder for an hour, but i didn't want to move him. it feels nice to have the boys company back, especially brooklyn's for some strange reason. Rylyn at its finest moment as you can tell.
i'm currently watching The lion king. i was in a weird mood for disney films and i didn't want to continue watching Stranger Things without brooklyn.
i also needed something to try and keep my mind off faith. but i cant, knowing something may be upsetting her scares me.
i'm worried..
"ryeee" brooklyn croaks, yawning and then stretching before sitting up.
"hey bud" i sigh and close my mac book. he gives me a worried look.
"what is it..?" he whispers. i shrug.
"come outside with me" i whisper back. he nods and gets up, making his way down the ladder, i follow behind
"Where are you going?" Andy asks, Mikey and Jack look up from their phones at us both.
"to film a musically" i lie with a fake smile and they nod. me and brooklyn head out the flat door into the stairway.
"what?" He starts leaning on the wall.
"i'm worried about Faith" i say and he looks at me.
"why..?" he asks and i shrug, unsure on how to answer.
"she hasn't replied.. in 7 hours" i say, "but i don't think it's cause she's busy"
"aww are you scared she forgot you" he jokes.
"brook.. i'm serious. she's not like that. she said she would reply, she hasn't, i know somethings up" i tell him and he nods. i've never seen serious brook before but i'm guessing he's just arrived.
"call her. now" he says and sits on the stairs, i join him.
"i don't know.." i say and take out my phone and checking it.
9:13pm
and still no message back from Faith. i unlock my phone and go to her contact, my thumb hovering over the call button.
"why am i nervous god what the hell" i ramble and brooklyn just shrugs.
"knowing that she may not be okay worries you, and it's obviously starting to get to you. i guess you should feel nervous, in case something bad has happened. this is how i've been feeling about you for the past few weeks. but hey.. you're okay now, we'll better anyways. it scared me and made me feel sad to know you were hurting. and now you're in the same position. you have a feeling someone you care about is hurt and it's hurting you. you care about her Rye, it's normal. it's normal to worry about people who mean a lot to you." he finishes.
i just stare at him.
that may have just been the smartest and deepest thing i've ever heard come out of his mouth.
and so i nod, and hit call.
