Continued.. remember to vote and comment :)
rye's pov
saturday 9th of december
2017
4:00am
faith didn't reply the rest of the night.. maybe i scared her, maybe she was mad, i don't know. but i'd spammed her for 2 hours straight pretty much..
itsmeryan
faith..?
itsmeryan
are you mad at me..?
itsmeryan
i didn't realise you were a roadie at
first..
itsmeryan
that doesn't make a difference though
itsmeryan
i felt bad for not saying who i was when
i found out you knew about us
itsmeryan
if i had told you later on it would
have been worse tho..
itsmeryan
i'm sorry..
can we can start fresh again..?
itsmeryan
i'm sorry faith
read 3:58am
i knew she was awake tho, i could see her reading my messages.. and she mentioned she could never sleep..
itsmeryan
can we start over.. again.
please..
faithsummers98
can you at least start with being honest..
itsmeryan
what do you mean..?
faithsummers98
who are you really..?
oh shit that's why she's mad at me.. she doesn't believe i'm actually Rye..
itsmeryan
i was being serious about that..
i am actually Rye, i swear.
itsmeryan
i wouldn't lie about that. i promise
if you listen to my story.. you
might understand..
faithsummers98
i'll listen..
and so i begin telling her everything..
itsmeryan
so yeah.. i got into the band, and it was the best feeling ever. me and Andy clicked straight away and i knew we would be like brothers one day. Brooklyn obviously later joined and Mikey too.. they were my brothers and i couldn't think of a better way to be living. Jack then came and the band was competed, everything was great. it wasn't until 2 months ago i started feeling a little off.. not with any of the boys, i just felt weird.. more lonely. i also had started talking to this girl around that time too.. i didn't think anything bad of it until the boys said i'd been acting well not myself lately. to make it worse i started falling for the girl without realising she was bad for me. we later had an argument cause i said i couldn't meet up with her the day she was asking to and then i later found out she has a boyfriend. we'd been talking for 2 months at this point. she'd been dating him for 4.. it broke me cause i loved her.. i don't know why though. we don't talk now..
itsmeryan
so that's one part..
itsmeryan
the past few weeks since the incident i've started feeling really.. depressed? or just not myself. i've started feeling lonely and that i cant talk to anyone. i focus on negative things, like hate online is all i seem to see.. i cant focus on the positive things anymore. Even when the boys try to help, i cant talk to them. i want to but i don't know why, i just cant..
itsmeryan
yeah that probably sounds a bit shit but that's what's happened. this is my old twitter account i used before i got into roadtrip. i deleted all my old tweets and started fresh not too long ago. it was gonna be a way to express my feelings without people knowing. everyone's forgotten about this account and no roadie seemed to have found it.. i'm sorry
faithsummers98
no.. i'm sorry.. first off for not believing you i guess.. i just thought you were like pranking me or something but the more i thought about it the more i realised i should probably listen to your story first.
and secondly, i'm sorry for all that that's happened to you. and i get it, you were "in love" but didn't realise it was toxic i suppose you could say. i'm guessing by the looks of it the girl seemed to be toxic for you considering she made you change on such a high level and made feel the way you are feeling now and were previously.
i'm sorry rye..
i smile when i see she called me by my name.
itsmeryan
faith, why can't you ever sleep?
faithsummers98 is typing..
i smile lightly
faithsummers98
you want my story..?
itsmeryan
yeah.. only if you want to share it though..
just know, you can trust me
faithsummers98
i trust you
faithsummers98
things in the past have scarred me. both mentally and physically. My mum and dad had my brother at a young age. that made my mum ill i guess.. then i came along a few years later. she was ill, very ill. she didn't make it through my birth. my dad grew up hating both me and my brother, mostly me because he thought i was the reason she passed. i didn't have a nice child hood at all. my dad got a job in the army not too long after, i was 7 and my brother was 12. he practically looked after me, along with my grandma who watched us both, until he turned 16. he wanted a better life so when he turned 16 he also applied to be in the army. so i was left on my own, my grandma would check on me a lot since she lived in the flat below. when i finally turned 16 however, she passed so i was alone, literally. i'm 18 now.
but that's not just it.
throughout my life i've suffered from depression, anxiety and eating disorders. mostly caused by neglect, emotional harassment and physical too from my dad. it's caused trauma i guess you could say, and i'm still suffering from anxiety and occasionally my depression kicks back in somehow. i don't really eat but that's mostly cause i'm never a hungry person anyways and i still have thoughts about myself that aren't the best..
i stare at the screen.. not even realising i'm almost crying
faithsummers98 is typing..
i wait..
faithsummers98
my brother had a daughter when he was 18. her name is Mia. he's 23 now. the girl he had her with wasn't interested at all in the child, but she still had her. only once she did, she took off and left her. it turns out that later we found out that she had an illness and died.. meaning Mia now didn't have a mother.. that's a long-ish story.. my brother was home at this point, he wanted to keep her and give her a good life, a life that he never had. but we aren't the most wealthy family. so he had to go back to his job. i basically look after her, i visit her at the hospital every day apart from weekends cause she has to have special treatment. she's not very well is all im gonna say.. my dad has sort of started being nicer to me, mostly cause i have to look after his granddaughter.. but at least he's being nice i guess..
faithsummers98
so yeah that's my story..
itsmeryan
wow.. you're such an amazing, strong person even if you don't think so. your mam would be proud of you i know it.. and your dad? he loves you, deep down whether he shows it or, like you said, doesn't at all. but he's starting to open up more like you said, so that's good. i'm here if you ever need someone i promise..
faithsummers98
thank you Rye..
itsmeryan
you're welcome faith❤️
