Faith's PoV
Tuesday 12th december
10:50am
i was at the hospital.
i've been here since early monday morning.
after the whole shopping incident, i got home, cried and went to bed.
and then i got a call just before i fell asleep.
it was the hospital, Mia's new treatment wasn't working.. nothing seemed to be working.. she seemed to be getting worse and worse. but they say she's still happy, just really tired and every now and again she gets horrible pains.
god knows how she keeps smiling throughout it all..
it broke me, hearing that. and i just couldn't deal with anything. i rang up my college and told them i won't be coming in for a few days because of personal reasons, and they said it was fine since my grades were pretty good.
the hospital had told me i would be aloud to go in Monday and stay with her until Thursday.
on Friday she's going into what they called "special care" for a week.. and i just hope she's okay.. or will be.
i haven't been able to let my brother or dad know, and they kinda need to.. incase something happens to the point they cant say goodbye..
i don't want to ever say goodbye to Mia. she's so precious and just the best thing in my life. she's like my own daughter which sounds kinda weird. she called me mum once, and that kind of made me feel both sad and happy at the same time.
i've never left the hospital. i've stayed with her the whole time. apart from when she sleeps.
i've just sat in the waiting room most nights, occasionally being brought snacks and coffee from the nurses.
After i got the phone call from the hospital about Mia i broke down. and then i got another call.. From Rye.. but i just couldn't answer it. i wanted to, so badly. but i couldn't.
he's texted me, every day, pretty much every hour. and i just didn't know what to tell him.
so monday night, i send him a message just saying i was okay and i'll talk to him later..
i don't know when that'll be..
And now i'm hearing, from Andy, that Rye is going though shit again breaks me. i just hope he knows it's not because of me. i promised Andy i'd talk to him, and i was gonna keep that promise.
my phone is in my hand, our imessage chat open.. and i was just staring at the screen. what the heck do i start it with.
Rye❤️
Rye.. i'm okay..
but i know you're not..
please talk to me..
and i promise i'll
talk to you when i'm
ready..
*delete*
Rye❤️
Rye.. where are you..?
i'm so sorry.. i-
*delete*
Rye❤️
Rye.. i'm so sorry
i miss you..
and i hope you're okay
i love-
*DELETE-DELETE-DELETE-DELETE*
but i finally make up my mind..
Rye❤️
We should talk..
Rye i'm so so sorry..
i promise you haven't
done anything. it's hard
to talk about at the
minute, but i promise
i will talk to you about it
when it's easier to..
but i miss you.. and i hope
you're okay.. are you okay?
please
i'm so sorry if i made you feel
down in anyway.. i'm so so sorry
please talk to me.. i'm always here
for you.. i'm sorry.. x
read 11:09am
Rye❤️ is typing..
i've missed you so much.
and i'm so sorry for whatever
you're going though right now.
it's okay, you can tell me whenever
you're ready. i'm always here for
you too.
Faith.. i don't know what's wrong.
i just can't seem to block out
negative thoughts anymore. i don't
know what's happened. i keep thinking
back to.. you know.. and it's making
me feel like shit. i thought i was over
it.. but apparently not.
not being able to talk about it it's hard
too.. i've tried talking to Brook about
how i feel, but i can never go into
detail. and i wish i could. i just don't
think he'd understand and i'm scared
incase anything bad comes out of it..
i don't like opening up about things to
the boys anymore.. and that's really
messing with me cause i wish i could.
i've missed being able to talk to you..
i may or may not have smiled when
i saw the notification.
i really hope you're okay faith❤️
i've missed you too.. and when
or if you want to talk, just text me.
and i will reply this time. i'm feeling
better than i was on sunday night
through to monday, and if i'm
honest, talking to you makes me
happy i suppose.
talk to me when you're
ready❤️ and talking to you
makes me happy too faith x
aww..do you want to talk about
whatever's up now..?
i'm not sure
i want to say yes
actually
yeah i guess
you don't have to
if you don't want
to Rye..
faith?
yeah?
i'm scared
why?
that's the thing..
i cant remember
