Baby.... I wanna talk to u... But not as me....
Why is that you can only love half of me you do nice shit to one side hoping that the other don't see
I get it you only love a half of me and the dark side is something you try not to see
But it's apart of me, and ignoring it is like excluding half of my identity
I trust you right now so I'll give you the full rundown
I have bits and memories of the childhood I used to see but I got traumatized and now my first ten years are in disbelief but my parents always fought, mental and physical , I did bad in school and I wasn't all that spiritual never been baptized, holy water burned me, I'm not done so Ima keep going, I lost my virginity... yeah I saw it through and if I could have I would've lost it to you but really... because of you through 17 years of teaching I learned what love and sex really means and the true outcome to cheating, and I'm not happy with that and I'm not proud to say it and u tell me not to blame genetics but sometimes I run out of my sayings cuz it's like the dark side controls my brain and I control my heart so my decisions are never on page
You see me as one but I function as two please understand me I don't mean to be rude but just know I got a devil on my shoulder and I'm only getting older keeping tragedies in a folder for my mind to pull and use when Sevin needs an excuse to cut my heart down to size in two so in all honesty you're used.... you function as my support your what my mind and heart want and all of the sorts and this isn't a way to call you back but you gotta understand that I'm not a normal guy now can you cope with that? I'm different and I get it if your intimidated if you're done and you're sick of my hesitating if you're not satisfied with me because to be very honest I'm sick of me too sometimes but I can't stop it... I learn to control and suppress but no matter what happens he'll always be in my head from the missing child memories, and I don't want you suffering, when I go to a dark place in the dark he speaks to me, whispers I'm not worth it and flips out on those who try to peek, I don't want you to get hurt even if you don't care what he'll do and I'm sorry if I'm rude I'm trying so hard to express myself in ways that are smooth but it just doesn't work out, I know I'm a piece of something... But you gotta accept my Darkside because I'm all or nothing truly!
YOU ARE READING
A COLLECTION OF MY FEELINGS
PoetryMy own poetry which I use to express myself. I sometimes feel like I'm not supposed to be on planet Earth and all my life I have to cope with these different choices and scenarios that do more harm than help. It is up to me to push through it, but I...
