A COLLECTION OF MY FEELINGS

Kai pt2

I pushed and pushed
To break myself
Then she said
That she cut herself
In my mind I
Whisper I love you
Otta my mind I scream
I hate you
My passion for you burns
Deep we than the biggest solar flare
I miss the days where'd you'd play with my hair
I miss the days
We could smile It off
The days where'd wed laugh and pal around
Those days are gone
And so are you
I pushed us too far
And now it's all wrong
I lied awake tonight
With that blade in my pants
Contemplating wether I wanted the blood on my hands
I said fuck it dance the blade against my skin
Kyaja we were family
We were kin
And I fucked US up because I didn't want it again
Why didn't I want it?
Bcc I didn't deserve it
People searched centuries for love
And I didn't earn it
It was there
So I acted like I didn't care
Had a dark moment and those three words I swear....
I muttered it I meant it
I couldn't
I ended it
My pride
In the way
Your lips on my face
Our arms in disgrace
My mind otta place
My heart begins to race
Your decisions are made too late
I break, big mistake
I fucked up and now your someone else's to take
At the end of the day
I didn't want what I didnt deserve
Yes the nerve of this guy is absurd
For dragging you back down the abyss we own
This back and forth game
Is getting quite strange
But will it end ?
Fuck no it won't
I don't know if I refuse to let it
When ur name elegantly slips off my tounge
The world.turns to color
The volume of all gets much fuller.
I watch your movements like your a broadcast
I wanted us to last...
I fucked it up
And now I can't be mad
When you try to push on
And curve who the one that hurt
At the end of the day and I don't mean to be curt.but
I wanted you basically.
But how, I couldn't figure it out
Now I get it and tried to tell you before you curved me
Too late you don't deserve me
You need something better
Trust me it's out there
So.go find it and leave me in my lyrical despair
Because this heart we shared
Doesn't need another piece
After yesterday it's obvious the look in your eyes told a story
Of our creation
Past tense shit
I didn't remember
And I ignored it, I was faking if I can't have you I don't think I want anyone else
Ima sit here like.a toddler and see what you have to say
Defiantly refusing to find love bcc I found it already.
so leave me yes it'll fix your head but without you girl I'm emotionally dead... I love you, there I said it
Hopefully for our story I hope its not the end