A COLLECTION OF MY FEELINGS

Up Till 7 AM and Counting

I had kai on my mind from the night till sunrise
So my sleep had creeped far from my bed sheets
And yes I wanted her to text me
But I knew that I felt so empty
And those sleeping hours that I needed which were plenty
We're oblivious on my transcending
So I apologize if I do not recognize that you wanted me in your life that time
But executive decisions In. My life that went missing  allowed me to let you find success in the ending
I live my life like pages of a book
With paper cuts tragically
Friends of mines marking themselves up to escape reality
And in reality I play faculty
For my brethren and anyone in with my second coming
I will rise
Even when I fall
If all was lost
I'd be gone like Atlantis existence
As my words creep on my arm
Slowly writing as I internalize every suicide
I've attempted and in surprise
I realize that god is forgiving
As is people I could apologize to but I don't want forgiveness
For I'd be nothing with a bunch of allies
I don't mind when they clip the wings of this social butterfly
And I can't lie
Pain hurts sometimes
Never physically but mentally I compromise
It's like when I arose from my emotional recuperation
The doctor was not mistaken
With my heart aching
It's under visual decomposition
So I listen
To some of the dark songs
Trying to remember the tune that we used to sing
An emo couple
As dark as night
We fooled around like life was a playground now
My life doesn't make a sound
As even water drips unheard
What makes it worse
Is that it rains
All on the corpse
Of what I used to be
When I opened my eyes I see
That people are around but nobody by me
And even if they were
Which would be kind of absurd
I would tell them back off and keep walking along the curve
Until it becomes four and together that is a circle
An endless loop I chuckle at this in which makes me humble as I repeat the same situations over in my head with a pen
Seeking who's notebook they could lend
And who's money I could spend
And even if I spent my own
I wouldn't be happy all alone
So I began to seek others
A distraction before the main event
The true secret is the main event will be my ending
My second coming has yet to come
Therefore we are on our first legs
I began to walk on all fours like a mother's offspring
And screaming how deeply I am needing
Some assistance
With the breathing
Before this baby begins teething
Before the soil creates another Identical to each other
Another seven yes in order
That follows his regrets
Packs them away in a folder
I Regret Making love to her
Since it hurt her in the long run
cumming inside her I'm sorry but the baby.... we just wanted one
Leaving her behind she should know there wasn't a day she wasn't in my mind
I regret Trusting her with my feelings
Trusting her with my secrets probably off telling someone
All about me who would listen
I regret Not Leaving earlier if I did I wouldn't love her like this
And Loving her because I wouldn't feel like this 
7regrets fill up my head
Circle me like limbo for the dead
So I re-read everyday like the novel in my mind
I haven't slept all day man just look at the time ^