"Home" -Jaegan

•Not alone•

Raegan's pov:

Justin and I lay peacefully on my bed. I'm still laying my head on his stomach while he plays with my hair. I want to know why he was crying when I got home from school, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

"You're hair is really soft." Justin says quietly breaking the silence. I smile looking up at him. He takes his hands away from my hair and looks down at me.

"Thank you." I lift my head and move up so we are both at eye level. He wraps his arms around my neck and grins.

"What was that idea of yours?" He asks. I still don't know if I should even ask, I don't want him to get scared. Or even mad?

"Umm...I don't think it's a good idea now that I think about it." I say putting my hand on his cheek. He looks at me confused and sits up. I sit up with him and shrug.

"Come on, tell me." He says.

"I just don't want you to get upset." I say a little insure.

"I won't Raegan. You could never make me upset." He smiles.

"I'm just going to say it." I say quietly. He nods.

"Do you maybe want to shower together tonight, it's easier." I say rushing a bit. I feel like I'm sweating and I get out of breathe. I don't want to sound stupid.

"Oh Raegan. I-I would but.." He stops and quickly gets off my bed and loses eye contact with me. "There is something you don't know." He says.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused. I swing my legs to sit at the edge of my bed. He puts his hands over his face and shakes his head. I stand up.

"Justin." I say getting closer to him. I touch his arm gently and try to pull his hands away from his face. He lets me and I now notice he's crying. I don't hesitate to just hug him. That's the most important thing before asking question.

He doesn't do anything but hug back tighter and cry in my shoulder. I did make him upset. I knew it. But what do I not know?

"Shhh it's okay." I whisper to him. "I'm sorry." I say. Now I feel bad. Why did I bring it up?

"N-no don't be sorry." He says. He gently pulls away from me and contains himself. I keep my hands on his hips staying close to him.

"I should have never asked that. I-" He cuts me off my cupping my cheeks and standing on his toes, kissing me. I kiss back, loving the feeling of his lips on mine. I feel myself release all thoughts from my head.

He pulls away gently but keeps his eyes down. Something is wrong, he won't make eye contact with me.

"It's okay. I do want to, it's just that...I haven't told you my biggest secret." Oh. So he does want to. But that is this secret?

"Can you tell me?" I ask almost like a whisper.

"I think I need to." He nods. He backs away from me and goes into the bathroom. I can't see what he's doing but he comes back with his hands behind his back. I'm shaking, what is he doing?

"If you don't feel comfortable telling me Justin, you don't-"

"I appreciate it, but I need to tell you." He cuts me off being as polite as possible. He seems very nervous.

"Ok." I nod. He takes a minute looking down at the ground. I don't say anything and give him as much time as he needs.

"Please don't hate me Raegan." He says looking up into my eyes. His eyes have a thin layer of tears.

"I would never hate you." I say. "Never." I add clarifying myself. He takes a deep breath and nods.

He slowly, with his arm shaking, pulls out a piece of material from behind his back. I reach to take it and he lets me. I open it and see it's binder. A binder that female to male transgender people use. I look from the binder to Justin and he's biting his lip, tapping his foot.

"Oh my god." I say.

"I knew it. Now you hate me-"

"No, no." I shake my head. I put his binder on my bed and get closer to him.

"Umm-" I say hesitating a little. "Just watch." I say. No one at school knows this. Just my mom, obviously.

I close my eyes and bring my hands down at the bottom of my shirt. I quickly lift my shirt up over my head and drop it on the ground. He keeps his eye on my face confused but then his eyes move down. He swallows hard looking at my scars. He comes closer to me but keeps his eyes glued to my scars. His hand slowly brushes over them and then he looks up at me.

"Raegan." He smiles. Without warning, he jumps into my arms squeezing his arms around my neck and legs around my torso. He's never hugged me so tight. I lock my arms around his back. My eyes tear up and I smile knowing that I'm not alone. And now he won't feel alone.

"You see what I'm talking about Justin." I say and he brings his face to mine. "You are so brave, telling me you are trans."

"But so are you."

"Yeah, but you told me first. You are amazing." I smile at him. He giggles lightly and leans in and kiss me. His lips reach mine and my eyes are closed, but they widen. My stomach gets that weird feeling it's had ever since the first time I've kissed him.

We both pull away and don't say a word. Both of our breathing is a little heavy, but we try to ignore it.

"Now." I start. "That idea I had...?"

Maybe a little sexual next chapter? I mean we can't have them shower together and have NOTHING happen you know. Hope you enjoyed and you will all enjoy next chapter😉😏