I know you're alone

15

I woke up in the morning when the sun was shining in over me. I stretched out the body, and I looked around. I was alone in the house and I tried to perk up. Slowly I sat up and took my hand through my hair. Three days left. I swallowed and I wanted to have more time to get used to the idea. I took a quick shower and I put on a pair of short pants. I slid out on the sand outside and I looked around. Harry wasn't there, and as always, I wasn't worried. I went back in and put the kettle on and that's when I saw the envelope. My name was written on it and it was on the kitchen table. A cold wind went through my body and tears were near to come. He had left me? I swallowed and I slid into the chair, in front of the kitchen table. I didn't dare to touch the envelope and I saw before me how Harry now sat on a flight home.

It took me several minutes to lift up the envelope and I opened it slowly. I pulled out a piece of paper with my name on top and began to read.

"Niall... Yes there was three days left in our planning, but I must go. There's no point in pulling out the time and I can't stand to see you cry when Friday comes. Yes, I'm an idiot who doesn't even said goodbye. I felt that it would only get worse. Therefore, I made the choice to leave you today, here and now. No last words and no harsh words. We had a wonderful time together and I know that one day you'll look back on that time we had and smile. I'll always smile when I will be reminded of you. I have so many words I want to say to you, but I have right now difficult to write because I'm crying.  Yes, I admit it, once and for all. I love you, Niall. I really love you as a person, as a friend and as a boyfriend. I've never had that feeling before and I'm not good at managing emotions. I could take down the moon for you just to prove what I feel, but I know it's impossible to do so. Even if I never said those words to you, you now know now that you're one of the few that changed me totally. You gave me hope, you made me dream and you made me feel everything that no one else has felt before. It's big for me, too big. Your H"

Tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't even think straight. He broke my heart in many ways, and why couldn't he give me a chance? I crumpled up the letter and threw it away over the floor. My feelings were like a hurricane. I could hate him, yet I loved him. I could yell straight out how much he didn't do for me, but at the same time I was grateful. He loved me, but how can you love a person, and then abandon him?

It became black. I took a bottle and I drank. When that one was empty, I took a new bottle and drank more. It was as if I was trying to wash down alcohol to forget him. I sat down on the beach, I couldn't even see clearly. Everything was a haze and the world went under. I screamed, I cried and I laughed. Yes, I had no control over myself.

"Niall?"

I looked up with misty eyes. Simon stood there and he looked at me in surprise. I smiled and I raised the bottle in the air.

"Want one?" I asked slurred. "I guess you're one of the reasons why I'm sitting here. Harry has gone home, he left me and now he's not with me."

Simon frowned. He came up to me and looked at me as if I were a child. I laughed a little.

"Come on." I muttered hoarsely. "You're not surprised huh? The whole point was that I would fall for that man, and then he would go home and I would be left as a happier man?" I looked coldly at him. "But the plan didn't work. I'm not happier, I'm totally down to the bottom."

Simon bent down and he grabbed my body. He made me stand up.

"You need a cold shower and a bed."

I tried to get away from him, but in my state it didn't work.

"Nah not sleep." I growled cold. He didn't care what I said. Instead, he pulled me up and pushed me into the shower. I felt the cold water began to flow over my body and when I wanted to go out from the shower, he kept me in there.