I know you're alone

53

*Niall*

I understood Harry. Diana wasn't exactly on the best mood and he couldn't handle her when she was mad over life. He was strong on certain things, but when it came to her, he was weak. I saw his unsettling gaze towards our daughter and I saw that he really cared, in his own personal way. Therefore, I didn't questioned that sometimes he disappeared away on somethings sometimes. I guessed that he needed to get out and see something else. Personally, I was pleased with my life so far. I was home from work to take care of our daughter and I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it. I had a few sleepless nights in the week, but who hadn't that? I learned to know our daughter. Yes Diana was really good at showing what she felt. I could just look at her and immediately I knew what it was that affected her. Sometimes it was her diaper, sometimes she was hungry, and sometimes it was a stomach ache. I learned what to do and I was proud over myself. It was a relief to sometimes get out. Because of sleepless nights I needed air and I needed to think. The forest gave me peace. To walk along the path with the pram and see Diana go to sleep, that was the best feeling in the world. Yes, she was so beautiful and so perfect in every way. I was a proud father and I wanted the whole world to see her.

"She grows as she should." said pediatrician to me after a investigation and he smiled at me. "But you look as if you're tired?"

I smiled in declining.

"I'm fine." I replied quickly. "What about her weight?"

He put away the pen and frowned.

"Niall, if you don't feel well, then won't Diana feel good." he said firmly. "You may need to let Harry take care of her?"

I swallowed.

"No, he's working and he has been busy with school?"

He rolled his eyes.

"But he's also the father of Diana?"

I sighed and I looked embarrassed down on my hands. Somehow, I allowed to just let myself take care of her and perhaps I pushed Harry aside?

"I know." I got up. He smiled at me and seemed to sense what I was thinking.

"You're two as going to bring up and take care of her." he continued. "And you have to let Harry in her life. You have to let her get to know him a little more?"

I felt a resistance. Yes, it was as if Diana was the first person I really had control over, and I loved that feeling. She was like a part of me and I couldn't live without her. To let Harry come inside her life more would mean that I let go of control. Was I ready for that? At the same time the doctor had right. Harry had come into her life a little more and maybe understand the responsibility we had?

Harry was at home when I finally entered the hall. He met me and quickly he helped me with the stroller.

"We need to talk." I said quickly and lifted up Diana in my arms. He got large eyes, as if he felt guilty about something. I didn't know why he reacted that way.

"Talk?"

I nodded and walked ahead of him into the kitchen.

"Yes, the doctor said I need more sleep and I have to let you take care of her sometimes."

Harry followed and I heard he responded.

"You mean I should...?" he hesitated. "But you're doing so well with her?"

I spun around and looked straight at him. Diana was asleep in my arms and I held her up gently.

"Harry, I need to sleep more."