17. Can't think straight

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Can't think straight

I feel so tired, it’s so strange

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I feel so tired, it’s so strange. I have the capacity to do 24 hour shifts at hospital and still feel energetic. But looking at numerous venues for the wedding on my off day had taken the toll on me.

What the fuck am I doing? Do I really want to get married? I was okay with it before I met Yo. But before I met him I was a workaholic. I didn’t care about anything else much besides work. Now I don’t know anything anymore because I can’t think straight.

He left the country few days ago. But I can’t stop thinking about him now. Maybe I shouldn’t have confessed to him. I shouldn’t have gotten closer. I shouldn’t have kissed him. He was like a drug. And I think I’m addicted.

“Pha?” Pring shook my hand. I looked up from my untouched meal. “You haven’t eaten anything?” She peered at my plate.

“I’m not hungry. Just tired. If you’re done, then shall we make a move?” I asked looking around for our server. Pring nodded and stood up.

“So what do you think about the place we last checked?” She asked reapplying her lipstick

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“So what do you think about the place we last checked?” She asked reapplying her lipstick.

“It’s alright.” I said distractedly driving through the evening traffic.

“You’re really not into this, are you?” She sighed, slipping her tube of lipstick inside her purse.

“I’m sorry Pring, ask from Mom and make any decision you want.” I said tiredly. Pring watched me calculatingly.

“You’ve been acting strange, lately.” She declared.

“I’ve been doing long surgeries recently, maybe that’s why.” I lied through my teeth.

“Hmm..” She pursed her lips.

“I'm sorry.” I sighed. When she became moody it’s really unpleasant. So I make it my business to not to upset her. Why do I put up with her? Because she’s become a habit?

“I know Pha. I’m a doctor too.” She’s a Dermatologist and thankfully works in a different hospital. I stopped in front of her house. “I just want you to get involved in our wedding planning, you know.” She wrapped her hands around my bicep and pressed her cheek to my shoulder.

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