Perseverance (The Resident FF) by Frances51163

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT: A Graveside Visit

Three weeks later Conrad stood at Andys' grave in the relatively deserted Crest Lawn Memorial cemetery on Marrietta Boulevard located in Atlantas' Upper Westside. As he stood in the bleak surroundings of the snow covered cemetery his mind unbidden conjured up images of the funerals in Texas the week before. It still didn't seem real and it definitely didn't seem fair. All that grief inflicted on two families because someone chose to drink and drive. His anger at the futility of his friends' deaths had enabled him to get through the various discussions with the grieving families as he was able to use that anger as a barrier to hide his true emotions. He had come close to
tears on a few occasions but focusing on his anger allowed him to banish any such weakness. Looking around at the other graves, as he rubbed his left arm distractedly, he noted how quiet the surroundings were. As if the hustle and bustle of the outside world could not breach the solitude naturally instilled in this place. He shook his head ruefully. As if the inhabitants buried within the stone wall boundaries would be bothered by the noise of every day life! He glanced at the green and orange flower bedecked Christmas wreath speckled with snowflakes he had placed in front of the headstone at Frans' behest at Christmas. She hoped to visit Atlanta in a few months with the twins. He looked at the headstone yet again reading the words he had arranged for the Stonemason to have chiseled on the blue marble surface. 'Beloved Husband, Father and Friend'. He had consulted with Andys' widow about the wording. No matter how many words filled a headstone there were never enough to do justice to the deceased. Conrad rubbed a hand down his face wearily as he stifled a cough. A hand on his shoulder startled him and he turned to find Jude standing behind him looking worried.

"You've been here over an hour," the Surgeon pointed out gently, "let's head back."
"What are you doing here?" the fair haired man frowned without moving.
"Was passing. Saw your car," Jude lied for he had found his friend an hour ago after checking several other places for him, "come on. I'll buy you a drink."
"Just leave."
"Can't do that man. It's freezing. You're not doing yourself any favours, especially with that cough you have."
"Jude I know you mean well but .... I just want to be alone okay?"
"No. Not this time. You've been avoiding me for weeks," the taller man spoke firmly and gestured to the late afternoon skies which were darkening as a soft drizzle began to descend, "you can't stay here in the rain. Now you can come with me the easy way or the hard way but you're coming."
"Damn," Conrad sighed in defeat knowing his friend wouldn't leave him in the cemetery when he had no easy means of getting home, "okay but we skip the drink. You just drop me home."
"Knew you'd see it my way," Jude forced a smile as he placed an arm around the other mans' shoulders and turned him away from the grave.

The Surgeon had been stunned by the catalogue of tragedies his young friend had been forced to deal with in such a short space of time. Conrad had insisted on travelling to Texas alone despite offers from Jude, Devon and Nic to accompany him. The grieving man had insisted on taking care of all the legalities and the transfer of the bodies refusing all offers of assistance. Of course immersing oneself in various tasks to avoid dealing with such loss was not uncommon for most people in times of grief and everyone had their own way of dealing with loss. The difference was however that in Conrads' case he never seemed to give into his grief. Jude, like most in the medical profession, was well aware of the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, despair and acceptance. Those five stages passed quickly for some and slowly for others. Whether one was in denial for minutes or months the next stage inevitably followed and then the next. What worried Jude was that his friend was not talking to him or anyone else. Outside of work he declined all attempts to socialize. All the headway Jude and Mike had made in their conversations with Conrad seemed to have been undone. The walls constructed in childhood seemed to have been reinforced higher than ever by the deaths of Eric and Danny. Any breaches seemed to have been shored up and now the third year Resident exuded a calm uncaring attitude when it came to himself and any personal questions were quickly brushed aside. It was due to that very reason the Surgeon had spent two hours visiting Conrads' old haunts before he thought of checking the cemetery as a last resort. He had expected his friend to come out after a short time but finally after sitting in the warm air conditioned car for an hour he realised he needed to get proactive. Reaching the car park he resolved to start chipping away at his friends' walls again. He just hoped it wouldn't take long for them to start crumbling down again because his friend wasn't looking well at all and he needed to convince him to accept help. Somehow he knew this time it was going to be harder than ever.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Devon and Nic were waiting outside Conrads' apartment when Jude brought him back after a mostly silent journey only broken by a few unanswered questions.

"We were just about to give up," Devon said cheerily as the pair approached, hiding his concern.
"What are ye doing here?" Conrad asked trying to hide his irritation as he stifled a cough.
"Well since you stood us up last night we decided to have a drink with you here," Nic held up a six pack of beer and nodded towards the door, "so let us in and we can get started."
"Guys another time alright?" Conrad looked at the trio making no move to unlock the door.
"Hey they came all this way," Jude cajoled, "shame to pass up on beer."
"Another time," Conrad rubbed his left arm subconsciously, "I have something to do."
"Just one beer then," Devon spoke as if the decision had been made.
"No. Another time."
"But ......," Nic frowned.
"Guys it's up to him," Jude pointed out ignoring the twin surprised looks sent his way for he now had another worry on his mind, "I'm sure another night he'll be happy to party."
"Okay," Nic agreed sharing a look with the first year Resident before handing Jude the alcohol, "we'll head off but keep the beer."
"Sure," Conrad couldn't hide his relief.
"Next time I call I won't be taking no for an answer," Nic quickly gave the pale man a kiss on his cheek before heading off down the corridor with Devon in her wake who tossed a quick salute to the two men.
"So open up," the Surgeon directed when the pair were out of sight.
"You go too," Conrad made no move to put the key he held in the door.
"Nice try," Jude moved quickly before his friend could react and snatched the key unlocking the door and walking into the apartment ignoring the curses sent his way, "you going to stand out there all night?"
"No," Conrad grumbled as he walked in and shrugged off his coat before heading for the bathroom, "make yourself at home."
"Why thank you," Jude smiled innocently as he placed the beer into the refrigerator and took out two chilled bottles then grinned at the hand signal he received.

Closing the door behind him the fair haired man leaned against it for a few moments before walking over to the sink. Catching a glimpse of himself in the overhead mirror he winced. How was he going to convince Jude he was fine if he looked like death warmed up? Sighing he carefully rolled up the left sleeve of his black shirt and exposed a bloody bandage. Shaking his head he wiped his brow as he began to feel hot. Straightening he caught a glimpse of something behind him in the mirror and turned in dismay to find the Surgeon had walked in without him noticing. Quickly pulling down the sleeve he was about to lash out verbally at the older man when suddenly he felt himself falling into blackness.

tbc