Perseverance (The Resident FF) by Frances51163

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: Running to Savannah

Although Conrad understood his two friends had shown their trust in him by leaving him alone he was intelligent enough to know that the Psychiatrist at least expected or hoped he would call them back.  Initially it had seemed the option to choose but after considering the matter the young man decided against making the call.  Instead he had sent a text to Mike stating he was having an early night and he promised to talk to him the next day.  He had also informed his friend that the deadlock was on so they would not be able to get in if they tried and it would be best to save their energy.

Mike had recited the contents of the text to Jude and the Surgeon proceeded to curse angrily for a few minutes before regaining control.

"Well we can't leave him alone."
"We can and we will," Mike ordered quietly as the pair sat in a small cafe, "right now he's in a fight with himself.  He knows deep down he can trust us but he has to accept what comes with that."
"What do you mean," Jude frowned as he took a sip of coffee.
"If he admits he can trust us he knows he'll be able to talk to us more about his past. That's something he has carefully shielded for years.  The urge to maintain the status quo will be strong for him."
"How do we know he won't take off?"
"He said he would talk to me tomorrow."
"Well that fills me with confidence," Jude shook his head, sarcasm lacing his words.
"Tell me this.  Are you upset at Conrad about what he has been doing?"
"Course I am.  Aren't you?"
"No.  I'm upset he felt he had to resort to that to feel better but I'm not upset at him."
"I'm not ....... I didn't mean ...... I didn't mean that I was angry at him.  Hell Mike you know what I meant!" Jude scolded the older man.
"I do.  That's true.  But you need to remember Conrad is going to be feeling pretty vulnerable right now and he might perceive your anger as being directed at him rather than the situation he's in.  You want to help him you need to make sure your anger is not an issue."
"How exactly can we help him?  He needs Specialist counselling doesn't he?"
"He might but we'll just have to take things one day at a time."
"What about Devon and Nic?  Do we tell them what's going on?"
"You already know the answer to that question," this time it was the Psychiatrists' turn to use sarcasm.
"I know, I know," Jude held up his hands in surrender then grumbled, "you're fine it's me they grill with questions."
"Guess being older has its' benefits after all," Mike grinned wickedly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Conrad, true to his promise, spoke to Mike the next day.  Unfortunately it did not make the older man happy.  The young man had informed him that he had booked a week off as he had some things to take care of and steadfastly refused to elaborate on what those things might be.  Upon learning this Jude and Devon had immediately gone around to their friends' apartment only to be informed by a helpful neighbour that he had already left hours earlier.

"This isn't like Conrad," Devon complained as the pair headed back down in the elevator, "he never willingly takes time off."
"I think he just needs some time alone.  Let's face it he hasn't had an easy time of it."
"I know that but he shouldn't be by himself at the moment."
"Maybe he's with friends."
"And maybe he isn't," Devon rolled his eyes as they reached the ground floor.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Two days later Conrad stood at the waters' edge and watched the early morning mist rise into the cool winters' air.  He glanced at his bleak surroundings and tried to think of better times in the abandoned mansion nestled across the pond in between banks of old bare trees. His childhood house had, on the outside, looked like a perfect idyllic home. As a child though Conrad had never known lazy Georgia summer days.  Most of his days were filled with fear and pain.  Looking back now he wondered how he ever made it out of his childhood alive.  Rubbing his left arm he shook his head.  No matter how one tried you couldn't erase the past and that was what he had been doing all these years by burying the painful memories given birth in that house.  He had thought it was the only thing to do.  He now knew otherwise.  He walked around the pond and headed for the worn down building.  Its' former glory having long ago surrendered itself to the harshness of time and the elements.  Once pristine white walls were now bedecked with peeling paint and green moss.  The once clear glass windows had been shattered either by the weather or vandals, probably both.  As he approached the wraparound veranda by the concrete steps he saw the remains of the swing seat his mother had loved.  Its' once dark green paint only visible in patches.  He walked over and rubbed a hand along the rusty chain.  He smiled remembering his mother holding him in her lap as she set the swing in motion.  Those times with his mother had been stored up and in his darkest hours he had relived them over and over.  They had been his lifeline.  His cell ringing intruded on his thoughts and he looked at the displayed caller ID frowning.  He had meant to turn the device off.  He debated ignoring the insistent ringing but couldn't.

"Jude I told Mike ......," Conrad began only to be interrupted.
"I know," Jude cut in, "but I figured right about now you could use some company."
"No," Conrad looked at the ramshackle building before him knowing his friend was right but unable to admit it.
"Well tell me to my face then," Jude ordered.
"I can't.  I'm ...... on a trip."
"I know."
"Okay so I'll see you when I get back."
"You don't have to see me then."
"Oh," Conrad frowned, "okay.  Well I'd better go."
"Sure."
"Bye," Conrad listened to the dead air feeling loneliness envelope him as he looked back at the swing and pushed it to get it moving.
"I'm waiting," a voice spoke.
"Jude!" Conrad turned around on the porch to see the older man standing by the first step with his arms folded.
"You were going to tell me you couldn't use some company."
"What are you .....?"
"Like I said," the Surgeon reminded quietly as he unfolded his arms and walked up the steps to his stunned friend, "figured you could use some company."
"But ...... how did you find me?"
"You told me about this place once."
"I don't recall that."
"You told me it held some of your best childhood memories of your mother."
"Guess it does," Conrad looked back at the rusty remnants of the swing before going over to his friend, "you shouldn't have come."
"You want me to leave?" Jude had watched melancholy sweep over the younger mans' features as he looked at the mobile in his hand.
"I .......," Conrad ducked his head unable to confess he didn't want to be alone after all to face his memories.
"Thought so," the taller man smiled sadly placing a hand on his friends' shoulder as he looked up at the darkening overhead skies, "come on let's check out the inside.  Looks like the rains won't stay away for long."
"Jude I can't ask you ........,"
"Well that's good because you didn't ask I offered," Jude walked over to the slightly ajar front doors and pushed them inwards to the sound of creaking, "come on.  I promise I'll be by your side."

Conrad blushed as he realized his friend knew he was terrified of stepping back into the building.  He wasn't sure he could do it.  Even with his companion.

tbc