Perseverance (The Resident FF) by Frances51163

CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE: Accepting Failure

Back at the cabin after Wilson had been taken into custody and Statements given down at the Police Stat Conrad grabbed his backpack and double checked the bedroom to make sure it was as he found it. He had placed an envelope with cash in it to cover the damaged window on the bedside locker with a thank you note to Tom.

"So you ready to head out?" Jude greeted his friend as he arrived in the kitchen.
"Yeah. The sooner we've back in Atlanta the better."
"I hope that comment has nothing to do with the company."
"If I said it did?" Conrad followed the older man out onto the wooden porch and watched him lock up.
"I'd say you don't mean it. So how are you feeling? "
"Good. My eyes are much better."
"And how about everything else?" the Suegeon asked as they sat into the car.
"What do you mean?"
"Well you never did tell me why you needed to get away."
"Just wanted a break," Conrad sighed.
"A break from .....?"
"A break from work," Conrad gazed out the window as they headed down the hill, he hated lying but he honestly didn't think his friend would understand.
"Will you tell me something?"
"What?" Conrad asked warily.
"The question you asked about being punished. Is that what really you think? That somehow the pain you've been living with is punishment for something in a past life?"
"Didn't know you believe in reincarnation," the fair haired man tried to derail the discussion.
"I'd like to know man. Please?"
"It's just something I've wondered about," Conrad confessed hesitantly after a few moments' contemplation, "guess I'm looking for a reason to ......,"
"To what?" Jude probed gently, surprised but immensely relieved his friend was actually confiding in him.
"Justify it."
"We've all looked for that justification at some point. Something horrible happens and you ask why me? What's the reason for it? Conrad you're not alone in thinking that but I don't think you're being punished. I really don't."
"Why are you so sure?"
"Because you my friend have a good soul and if you were reincarnated your soul would be the same as in your past life. The soul lives on after death."
"Didn't know you were religious."
"I don't belong to any religion but I believe in God."
"Why no religion?"
"Because religious organizations are man made. A lot of people forget that."
"Guess you have a point."
"So will you accept that you're not being punished?"
"Okay."
"That was too easy," the Surgeon noted without rancour, "but we'll leave it for now. You know over the past months I've watched you deal with an awful lot," Jude observed as they pulled out onto the main road, "and all the time you downplay things, which we've discussed before. Why not break the cycle?"
"Jude please just drive. Not in the mood for a chat."
"Well guess you're out of luck because I am. Now I know we got a bit sidetracked but you need to deal with whatever it is you're running away from."

"Taking a break isn't running away."
"It is when you're not dealing with things."
"I deal with things my way," Conrad defended, "we spoke about this before just drop it."
"Sorry bud. So you always hide away when you're hurt or sick? Like the first time I met you?"
"I was on base in my tent. That wasn't hiding away."
"You didn't seek medical aid after being attacked by two guys."
"I was confused. Didn't realize I was hurt."
"Yeah and if you believe that I got a landlocked property to sell you in Oahu," Jude scoffed.
"How the hell did Hawaii come into the conversation?"
"First island I could think of," the older man shrugged, "you ever been there?"
"Hawaii? No. How about you?" Conrad grasped at the distraction as if it was a lifebelt.
"Once. Back in March, 2015. Best fortnight anywhere."
"What's her name?" Conrad had to smile, his companion was a known womanizer.
"Rosa," Jude laughed, "a Flight Attendant. But I meant the place was the best two weeks I spent anywhere. It's paradise. Spent one week on Waikiki beach in the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. The hotel is right on the beach. Beautiful place, except it's pink."
"What about the second week?"
"We moved to the Big Island. It's way less commercialised there. Both the big and small islands are great though. Never got around to the other islands."
"Would like to see Pearl Harbour some day," Conrad admitted wistfully.
"Why not go? I could go with you buddy. That's on my to do list. Never got around to it last time, had other things on my mind. So what do you say?"
"What's with you and road trips?"
"Think we'd have to fly there," Jude stated, "it's really beautiful. The colour of the ocean is so blue. Course I was talking to a local one day and he said he had to take tablets to counter the ash in the air."
"So paradise is tainted," Conrad shook his head, "guess nowhere is perfect."
"Guess not but Hawaii comes pretty close. I have a friend who works in the Tripler Army Medical Center and he has only one problem with it."
"What?"
"It's pink!"
"A pink army hospital!"
"Well rumour has it the wrong paint was ordered and it wound up being used," Jude grinned, "first time I saw it was coming in from the airport and I assumed it was the Royal Hawaiian. The Cab Driver set me straight. So what do you say?"
"About?"
"You, me and a trip to paradise."
"Maybe, one day."
"I was thinking now?"
"Jude I have work whatever about you," Conrad shook his head at the other mans' whim.
"You got plenty of vacation time and to be honest a rest is just what any Doctor would order for you," Jude look across at his passenger before continuing, "oh hang on a second. That's exactly what your Dr. Bronson ordered! You're running on empty, have been for some time. Why not be spontaneous? Carpe diem and all that."
"You can carp away all you want," Conrad rebuffed the suggestion sarcastically, "I'm going to work in the morning."
"Hell you're very cranky."
"Jude?"
"Yeah buddy?"
"Shut up."

By the time they pulled up outside the younger mans' apartment Jude had exhausted his efforts to get his friend to agree to another trip. His more serious issue however was also unresolved which did not sit well with him. The trip to the cabin could have been a breakthrough but instead developed into one distraction after the other. He cursed internally acknowledging it was a missed opportunity. He did not think he would persuade his old friend to take off again. The Surgeon was also dreading breaking the bad news to Mike. It seemed they were both going to have reason for being worried about the Resident for some time to come.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------

Chastain - One Week Later

Devon sat with Jude in the busy cafe and glanced at the Surgeon thoughtfully.

"Ye go back a long way. Surely you can persuade him to take a break."
"You think I haven't tried? Was a miracle he let me go with him last week. What does Nic think?"
"Like us she's worried," the first year Resident replied, "Conrad hasn't agreed to any nights out or anything."
"Well he's not up to partying," Jude shook his head wrily, "he just works as much as he can and then goes home. Maybe she could call there."
"She tried. He refused. That's why she suggested the nights out," Devon explained with disappointment.
"Well something's going to give sooner or later. He can't go on like this."
"Nic got tied up with the new staff meeting but she said to ask you if Dr. Gibson could talk to him."
"She thinks he needs a Psychiatrist?" Jude asked mildly.
"Don't act innocent. You think he does too," Devon observed confidently, "so do I but he's never going to agree."
"Let's try to come up with a way to get him talking then," Jude urged as his pager buzzed and he rose, "maybe we need to think like Conrad."
"What does that mean?"
"Think outside of the box."

tbc

Carpe diem - Seize the day