Perseverance (The Resident FF) by Frances51163

CHAPTER SEVENTY: A Day Off

Deciding to ensure he had a peaceful day the next morning Conrad decided to head out early after a breakfast of orange juice and an apple. Although he was still feeling down he scolded himself to stop being so introspective. So why couldn't he? Normally he had no problem pushing aside dark thoughts. This time it was proving to be more of a challenge, one he wasn't sure he had the stamina to surmount. Locking the door behind him he checked his watch and noted it was ten after seven. He hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and walked to the elevator trying to decide on where exactly he was going to spend the day. He liked taking off like this without a set destination. It gave him a freedom which he cherished. He paused as he hit the button for the bottom floor in the elevator wondering not for the first time if such a desire for taking off stemmed from his childhood. He wasn't a fool. Shaking his head as the chime announced his arrival downstairs he headed out of the foyer and opened the doors. Standing on the top step he shivered in the cool morning air and stifled a cough placing a hand up to his still healing ribs.

"You look like hell," a familiar voice called from the sidewalk.
"What are you doing here?" Conrad descended the steps and walked over to where Jude was leaning against his car.
"Figured we could hang out for the day," the older man explained with a knowing smile, "since we're both off."
"Yeah well I'm busy so you can take off," Conrad tried to hide his irritation, he needed to be alone, and went to walk by his friend only to have his arm caught firmly "hey!"
"Conrad you and I both know you're not well so how about letting me take you to breakfast."
"Already had breakfast," Conrad tugged his arm free wincing as the action pulled at his side.
"Well I haven't so why not humour me?"
"Look Jude I just want some time to myself okay?"
"I can understand that but I'm worried about you and since I cleared my day to be with you I don't intend to take no for an answer."
"I don't want ...," Conrad felt the drive going out of him.
"What?"
"Look I'm just not in good form," the Resident stated honestly.
"Well for once you're being honest," Jude assessed unabashed and pulled open his passenger door, "but I figure although you might not want company you need it so come on I'm buying."
"Nah man I'm not hungry."
"Well then we can just go for a spin."
"I know you mean well," Conrad shook his head and went to move away but was again held back by a hand on his arm.
"So let me take you to breakfast. I know a great pancake place?"
"Okay breakfast but that's it," the fair haired man sighed in defeat.
"Knew you couldn't resist!"

Ten minutes later seated in a back table of the busy Flying Biscuit Cafe located on Piedmont Avenue Jude eyed up his buttermilk pancakes hungrily as he urged his companion to eat.

"Hey you can't let that go to waste," Jude directed referring to the bacon and egg breakfast he had ordered for his friend.
"Thought you were buying pancakes."
"Well you need something strong in your stomach to take some painkillers. Besides you can have pancakes after that."
"Not taking painkillers," Conrad argued as he took a sip of milk bebating whether or not he was hungry.
"Yes you are now eat up and then we can talk."
"Oh joy."
"Knew you'd see it my way," Jude swallowed a bite of pancake, unaffected by his friends' unco-operative attitude, and picked up the bottle of syrup, "love this place!"
"Don't you have something to do today?" Conrad finally picked up his fork and tasted a bite of egg after sprinkling some salt over the dish.
"Yep. I'm spending it with my friend."
"Look you've already spent time with me," Conrad pushed his plate away and leant back tiredly, "say whatever it us you want to say and I can go on my way."
"How about you tell me about the other day."
"What do you mean?"
"Tell me why you talked that guy down."
"At Chastain?"
"Yes," the Surgeon forced himself not to do an eyeroll not wanting to show any impatience with his friend, he had discussed with Mike how to approach the younger man both worried about his lack of self preservation.
"Someone had to."
"But why you?"
"Why the questions?" Conrad shifted uncomfortably not liking where the discussion was going.
"I just asked a simple question. Why not answer it?"
"I don't know what the big deal is. No one was hurt."
"True but you could have been. You have a habit of placing yourself in dangerous situations."
"No I don't," Conrad shook his head in disagreement as he picked up his glass of water and looked into it, "you want to ask me your real question or are you just going to keep pussyfooting around?"
"Okay then," Jude put down his cutlery and leant back in his chair before eyeing his reticent companion, "why don't you have any regard for self preservation?"
"I do. Wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"Sometimes it's like you have a death wish."
"Now you're really pushing it," Conrad raised his eyes from the liquid, "whatever you and Mike are thinking just drop it."
"What's Mike got to do with anything?"
"Jude you're a good friend, so is Mike, but I don't want ye discussing me like some project."
"Never would," the tall man quickly affirmed before continuing, "as your friend we have a duty to take care of you."
"I'm a grown man!"
"Yes you are so you're smart enough to know that you need some help."
"What are you talking about?" Conrad sat up straight in his seat.
"Tell me this. When was the last time you actually slept through a night without nightmares?"
"Everyone has bad dreams," Conrad hardened his expression, "even you."
"Yeah. Even me and I got help."
"Well that's good then."
"Why don't you think about counselling?" the Surgeon finally aired his real reason for the early morning visit.
"No way," Conrad went to stand up but found his wrist caught firmly.
"You've already spoken to Mike and myself so you know you can do it."
"I'm fine."
"Saying it doesn't make it true. You've been running on empty these past few months yet you rarely take time off. We both know the reason why you insist on working all the shifts you can get. You can lose yourself in the work and try to ignore your problems."
"I took a holiday or have you forgotten Savannah?" Conrad defended the only part of his friends' words that he could.
"Savannah was no holiday. Apart from all the bad memories it stirred up you got injured and you're still healing."
"I wasn't seriously hurt Jude so stop exaggerating."
"I'm a Surgeon so don't try to fob me off," the Surgeon warned seriously as he finally released the wrist he had been holding, "one thing I learnt about you years ago is that you always downplay your own hurts. Like that time in Helmand Province."
"Ancient history," Conrad thought back to Operation New Dawn, which frighteningly was still going on today.
"Yet I can picture it as if it was only yesterday."

tbc