Perseverance (The Resident FF) by Frances51163

CHAPTER FIFTY: Worthless

Raindrops began to cascade down gently on the unkempt garden but Conrad was oblivious as he flushed with embarrassment at the words he had spoken. What was wrong with him?! He turned to put further distance between himself and his friend but a strong grip on his shoulder stayed his steps.

"Conrad that's what your father wanted you to believe but you're not worthless. You never were."
"Just forget I said anything okay? I .... I didn't mean it," the fair haired man pleaded as he shrugged out of the hold and quickly headed back into the abandoned bungalow.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of Conrad," Jude trailed behind his friend and closed the back door in a vain effort to keep warm, shaking the water out of his hair, "you act like you're responsible for your fathers' actions. As if you're guilty of his sins but you have to accept that you're not."
"Mike said much the same thing to me before," the smaller man shivered as he ran a hand through his damp hair, "come on. Let's head back to the hotel."
"You sure you don't want to go back to the house? I mean if this is your last time coming to Savannah ....,"
"No ....... I mean," Conrad looked at his hands, "I don't know. I just want to .... take a final ......,"
"We could always come back later today," Jude suggested trying to gauge his companions' readiness to face whatever demons he thought he was going to encounter on a second visit, "even another day. I'm in no rush to get back to Atlanta."
"I'll take a look now," the pained man spoke determinedly but the Surgeon had the impression he was trying to convince himself, "won't stay long. Don't want you catching pneumonia," the Resident chided as he led the way out the front door and back along the path as the rains began descending on earnest.

Stepping into the ruins from the rear this time Jude felt a shiver run through him which had nothing to do with the winter chill. Closing the door behind him he eyed the remains of what had obviously once been a large kitchen. Time had not been too hard on this area of the house as the wide windows were unbroken so the elements had not been allowed to wreak havoc with the interior. The once cheery yellow walls were relatively unscathed and he could easily picture Alicia keeping a young Conrad occupied as she baked cookies and other treats. He looked at the once white cupboards, now dulled in hue, and the industrial sized cooker. The large round glass table, with matching chairs, over to the side by a window seat looked perfect if dusty. He shook his head. Alicia wasn't the only one who had left things behind, by choice or otherwise. He realized the fire all those years ago had not marred this area. This surprised him considering the extent of the damage to the rest of the once majestic residence.

As his companion was marvelling at the undamaged surroundings Conrad was concentrating on taking deep breaths. He hadn't been in this kitchen since Alicia had given him a warm hug after he had consumed a cookie and a glass of warm milk and sent him upstairs to bed with a promise to call him when Tom returned. He could remember most of the events of that day as if they had only just occurred yet closing his eyes as he recalled going upstairs the memories faded to black. He couldn't remember actually going to his room although he knew he had because when he woke up he was in bed and his once blue room had turned orange a raging inferno blasting him with heat. The four walls seemed to be melting as paint bubbled and dripped down. The once blue carpet burned fiercely and sitting up in the bed Conrad had shuffled up against the wall beside the window. The flames seemed alive, so much so that he was nearly mesmerised by the sight. Eventually though the gravity of his situation engulfed him as the initial shock wore off. He had made short work of opening the window. Then blind panic took over for a few seconds as he realised he couldn't jump that far. He was about to turn away as something gleaming in the suns' glare caught his eye. A steel ladder! The likelihood that he would miss the ladder had only briefly crossed his mind as the searing heat behind spurred him into action. He had in fact made contact with the first step of the ladder but then it fell sideways sending him crashing to the ground and oblivion. A voice close by caused him to jump.

"Conrad? You okay?" Jude had walked over to stand beside his companion, noting the beads of perspiration on his forehead and his dazed look.
"Ah ...... what?"
"You okay? Guess you're remembering the last time you were here."
"I .....," Conrad shook himself to clear his thoughts and finally looked around the kitchen properly, "this was the last place I saw Alicia."
"You said your eyes were bad," Jude prodded gently to get the smaller man talking to him.
"Damn eyes!"
"Conrad can I ask you something?" Jude ignored the self recrimination wanting to get to the bottom of one of the things which had been troubling him since the first visit to the house.
"What?"
"You told me about hiding the books under the bed so you had something to read when you were ..... stuck .... in your room ....,"
"So?"
"Why did you hide a face cloth? I don't understand."
"A wet face cloth helps my eyes a bit," Conrad shrugged disinterestedly, not understanding why the item caught his friends' attention.
"I know that but why have it under the mattress ......," the older man frowned as a sickening thought struck him, "did your father take your face cloths when he locked you in?"
"He knew they helped."
"What the hell!" Jude couldn't contain his fury over the callous treatment his friend had received at the hands of his parent.
"Hey it's okay. It was a long time ago. I was lucky he never checked my pillow case or he'd have found the water," Conrad tried to joke.
"Don't do that. Don't belittle what you went through."
"It's in the past. Can't be changed."
"You want to go upstairs?" the Surgeon forced his rage to the back of his mind, knowing it would not aid the other man in any way.
"No need. Don't think it will change anything," Conrad rubbed his eyes as he looked around the kitchen, "this was my favourite room in the house. Alicia always made me feel welcome. She always treated me kindly."
"She cared about you a lot then and she cares about you now," Jude reiterated what he had told his friend earlier, "maybe you should stay in touch with her like she suggested last night. I noticed you didn't give her an answer."
"I said I'd ring her."
"Yes but as she pointed out you didn't say when," Jude shook his head.
"I will ring her. Now come on let's go," Conrad headed out into the dreary hallway to cut the conversation short.

The older man took the hint knowing there were other battles to be fought. He still had to find out about the knife under the mattress. He sincerely hoped his friend hadn't started cutting at the young age of six. He'd broach that subject another time for right now it was clear the pale mans' eyes were getting worse and if the coughing he was trying to stifle was any sign he was developing a cold if not something worse.

tbc