lovely // analogical ✔

☆ 33 - pinkberry ☆

Logan, Virgil, and Patton arrived at Pinkberry in disguise because they remembered that being right next to a trash can would not feel great.

So Logan was dressed in Virgil's most revealing clothes and dramatic makeup (Virgil's idea), Virgil was wearing pastels and non-prescription glasses, and Patton was wearing all black, had dark eyeliner lazily smudged under his eyes, and did his best to never smile. Virgil advised his little brother to swear every two seconds, but Patton refused.

Patton put a lot of glitter on Virgil's cheeks and made a couple of perfect stars with shimmery eyeshadow scattered over his face like freckles.

They grabbed a table in the far back and waited for both Landon and Jackson to arrive.

While they were waiting, they actually got frozen yogurt and it kind of turned into a date for Logan and Virgil. Patton wasn't happy to be the third wheel.

"Come on, guys!" Patton whined in a high pitched voice.

"Stay in character!" Virgil whispered.

"Oh! Right. Uh, this is so gross. Go make out somewhere else." Patton took his normal voice down an octave and he sounded completely different, but completely natural.

"How do you know how to do that?"

"Sometimes when I talk to Elliott, I do impersonations of you and Remy."

"That's pretty damn accurate."

"No swearing. That's my job."

"...ugh."

When the brothers stopped talking, Logan stated that he wanted to die.

"I feel completely naked," the nerd complained. He used his arms to cover his stomach that wasn't covered by the crop top. His slight stomach rolls showed when he bent over so he tried to sit up straight at all times.

"You're super pretty, Lo," Virgil said and nuzzled into the crook of Logan's neck. "Don't worry, okay? If anyone tries to shame you or stare at you or anything, that person will die."

"Well, that's a little mu-"

"They will die."

"I'm supposed to be the dark prick of the group, remember?" Patton reminded Virgil again in his low voice.

Virgil practically gasped that Patton used the word "prick". "What are some things that wholesome people say, Patt? I need lessons."

"Oh!" Patton broke character for a minute. "Okay, so, say stuff like 'you're so adorable!' And giggle. Like, all the time. And fangirl with high pitched squealing over musical theatre stars. Oh, and also, 'SLAY QUEEN' is a good way to go when you see a picture of Lady Gaga, James Charles, or a drag queen."

"Cool." The older cleared his throat and got into character. "Oh my gosh, you guys! Andrew Rannells just posted! He's so... wait, can I say 'hot'?"

"No, use 'adorable' or 'precious' or just pause and bite your lip while giggling hysterically."

"That's so much effort..."

Patton got back in character "It's so much effort being an emo asshole, but hey, I still try."

Again, Virgil gasped.

Logan made subtle gestures to the window. "I can see Landon and Jackson in the parking lot. They came together. Please stay quiet unless it's part of your character."

"Giiiiiirl," Virgil said, "you do not talk like you're dressed."

"Because I plan to stay quiet."

"'kay. Sick, dude."

Patton shot him a look.

"Oh, uh, okay! Love ya, Logie Bear!" When those words came out of his mouth, he looked like he was going to puke. He sounded like a little girl who hadn't gone through puberty yet. But like, Patton approved, so he was doing something right.

Landon and Jackson walked into the store at sat down at a table.

"We need fake names," Virgil whispered to the other two. "I'll be... uh.. Noah. Yeah."

"I have no idea what my fake name will be," Logan said quietly. "I'll go with Connor."

Patton thought for a moment. "I'll also be Connor. Connor, you're Connor McKinley from The Book of Mormon because you're gay as hell. Like, gayer than you usually are, which is.. pretty gay. And I'm Connor Murphy from Dear Evan Hansen because of how I'm acting."

Jackson walked over to the trio and Virgil froze.

But thankfully, Jackson couldn't see through their disguises. "Hey, do you guys know Virgil Greyson and Logan Decker?"

Patton rolled his eyes. "Those two? Seriously? Everybody knows them. Why?"

"Me and my friend Landon were supposed to meet up with them today."

"Ouch. Can't believe they'd want to hang out with you two. You both radiate strong SDE."

"Who even are you?"

"Connor. Now go away."

"What about your friends?" Jackson pointed to Logan and Virgil. "Hey, you guys, have you seen them?"

Virgil frowned and shook his head. "No idea. I'm not really friends with them. I'm new!" He stopped to giggle. "I haven't seen them since lunch today!"

Logan chimed in. "Anyway, why do those two matter?" He put one leg over the other to show off his knee high heeled boots. "You're with your friend. You can hang with him instead."

Jackson huffed. "Virgil told me to meet here for a date and Logan did to Landon. They better not be ditching us."

"Hey Noah, do you think they know that they're pretty unlikeable people and they wouldn't date the two most popular people in school?" Patton whispered to Virgil, deliberately being a little too loud.

"Excuse you. I was just asking if you knew where they were."

"Not anywhere near your pants, that's for sure."

"Listen up, emo. Who do you think you are?"

"Again. 'Sup. I'm Connor. Virge and Logan probably aren't even going to come. Might as well blow your friend in the bathroom while you have the time."

Oooooh. Virgil knew he was going to lecture Patton on his word choice when they were back home.

Patton wasn't finished. "Seriously, when I saw you guys walk in, I thought you were a couple. You'd be-"

Virgil cut off his brother's sentence before he got out of character. "You and Landon would be so cute together! Like, half the school thinks you're already together! I also thought you guys were dating!" He laughed softly. "Virgil's not gonna be dropping Logan ever, so you should just give up!"

He said that last sentence as sweet and innocent as possible, but he was still a good ol' sour bitch inside.

Jackson groaned. "Thanks, or whatever..." He went to sit back down with Landon and started talking with him.

Virgil, Patton, and Logan sighed in relief.

"Just a few years more until they stop bothering us and date each other instead," Logan said.