All The Hurt Would Go Away

For every light on Broadway...

It's been three years. Three years since I've been in a relationship and it didn't end on good terms. Frankly, I don't want to go out looking for another man after what happened; yet here I am, alone in my bedroom wishing for a man to cuddle. Lin is too occupied with the toddlers now since according to him 'once they can walk, they can do anything' and I ended up quitting my Hamilton run due to the emotional rollercoaster I'd been on. Leaving me alone as everyone else was busy. Now being alone was great sometimes, but feeling alone was not. As time goes by I'm slipping off the radar and wishing I had at least a friend to call without being a bother. In these three years I haven't changed but the people around me sure have, Andrew has served his time and is back out in the public again (my main reason for not going to any clubs) and thanks to Vanessa we managed to do the entire trial without Lin getting targeted. My phone beeped as I picked it up:
Mum:
Hey, new musical
opened Off-Broadway.
Wanna watch it with me?

Me:
Yea sure.
Pick me up in 10.
Xx

My life is looking pretty boring so a musical should lighten the mood. I got into my mums car and listened as she gushed about this 'musical' I'm watching and, to be fair, it sounds pretty good. The main characters are gay, both female leads are lesbian and there's this little kid or something. We're watching the original cast of course so it should be good. I heard the characters 'Marvin' and 'Whizzer' come up a few times so they're probably the leads and most of the car journey goes that way - me deducing what's going on as my mother fangirls over this musical.
"Oh and the main two actors, what are they names? Oh! Christian Borle and Andrew Ranne -"
"What?!"
I felt like I was suffocating, I never told my mum about the relationship since it happened so fast. I can't handle seeing that face again - even if he's served time.
"Are you okay? You've gone pale"
"Y-Yeah I can't wait!"
I mustered a smile to relieve my mum as the car restarted when the light turned green. It's been so long, no contact whatsoever just how I wanted it to be - all to be lost as the engine turns off and I leave my solitude. Photos are being taken all around me as immediately I am bombarded with questions mainly about Andrew, the news outlets really look into their interviews this year. After a good half hour of struggling to not break down I find my seat and the show begins. As the lights go up I suddenly realise how close we are to the stage, eye level for the actors, for Andrew. The characters rush on to perform the first song and immediately my eyes meet Andrew's and his light up while tears brew in mine. He seems to notice this and look away but the damage has been done. I saw him, he saw me, and he recognised me. Those brief seconds brought it all back; the pain, physically and emotionally, Lin frantically trying to hold me together as I fell apart, I don't care whether his time is served or not he shouldn't be here after what he did. He deserves to not go back to the same old lifestyle. He deserves to start right from pit bottom and make his way back up. The love he's getting for this show isn't right - he should be hated by everyone for what he did. Society is so quick to forgive when it didn't happen to them. When it does it'll be mentioned for weeks on the news. 'The games I play' began to start as I watched my ex lover sing and the lyrics began to interlink with our relationship. Slowly it was overbearing with every line and he knew it - sharing eye contact throughout the song. I excused myself immediately running for the restroom to calm down. I wanted to scream. Why was he here? It was going so well for me, I was lonely but I was comfortable in my loneliness. Sure, I kinda wanted a relationship but I didn't need it. I looked in the mirror trying to stable myself until I saw HIM behind me. Unwilling to turn around I just stared at him through the mirror.
"Hello stranger."
"W-What do you want?"
"I'm not gonna do anything don't worry I've changed now, I'm clean, I'm loving"
He attempted to hold my hand but I jerked it back.
"Look, it doesn't have to be immediate but, I really like you, like, really really like you so if you could try to give me a chance I won't hesitate to impress you and win you back."
"Bull."
He recoiled to my comment as if it were a slap to the face.
"Get back to your show. I'll get back to my nice cosy single life and this never happened."
"Single?"
"Piss off."
I stormed out lightly blushing at his interest and fuming on the fact this man who raped me still makes me blush. I texted my mum saying something came up and I promised to make it up to her as I left the building shortly realising I'd need a taxi.
"Need a ride?"
Heavily exhaling I mentally prepared myself for another face off.
"I'd rather get a taxi thanks."
"Come on, I've done my time, I've changed, I can prove it to you just give me a chance!"
"Why aren't you on stage?"
"Got the understudy up - when it's off Broadway you can change mid way through the show - really helpful in these situations."
"What when you see the guy you raped a couple years ago?"
His face hardened and a flash of pain appeared in his eyes - maybe I wasn't the only one who was hurt in the time apart.
"3 years Jon, I spent 3 years in that God forsaken prison with only one call every month."
"It's what you deserved."
"It's what changed me to who I am now, you've got to believe me. At least let me give you a lift - come on!"
I considered this offer - it was cold out and my hands were beginning to freeze.
"Fine. That's it though."

AN:
WE'RE BACCCKKKKKK!!!!!!
Dodgy first chapter ik but lots is to come and how do you think of it being in Groff's perspective and just his? Comment!