All The Hurt Would Go Away

I thought about with dread...

I woke up as the light spilled through the curtains yet to discover Lin wasn't awake yet. Quietly, I walked to the study to see what he was working on now and was shocked to see how tidy it was. There was a letter folded in half right in the middle of the desk which bore my name on it.
Jon,
I knew you'd come in here eventually so I wrote this letter and decided to display it whenever I wasn't in the study working. I know you've lost your memory and I filled you in as much as I could. But, since it is such an emotional topic to find out, I suggest these small letters for you to leave in my office or some sort of time slot in the day for us to talk things through. You know how I hate to have things unplanned and when random events appear during the day. Anyway back to the point of this letter, I understand you want to remember everything as quickly as possible just like that and you simply can't. Not to say you won't ever find out, but you won't remember anything at this rate. You may think I didn't notice but each day you haven't taken your pills and it's causing your memory to deteriorate. I won't tell you anything more if I know you won't remember it the next day. Now this may just be a lapse of yours to forget to take them and if so it gives all the more reason to worry about it. Just looking out for you para siempre,
Lin
I placed the note down looking at the two small pills and glass of water beside it; I truly had forgotten I was even given them. Entirely deflated, I sat on the desk chair and stared at the pills trying to see if I could remember a snippet of them being handed over to me or Lin in the hospital but it was all hazed over.
"So are you gonna take 'em?"
I turned around to see Lin leaning on the doorframe looking at me, hands in his pockets. I sighed heavily,
"I dunno."
He remained silent hinting for me to elaborate.
"What if I remember too much? You've only told me what you know and since it impacted me so badly the first time I-"
"-I get what you mean. But what about the good memories you've forgotten? Would they not outweigh the bad?"
We both fell silent as Lin earnestly waited for a reply.
"See I don't even remember how good they were so I don't know. What if it's good to start my life afresh?"
"You wouldn't even remember this conversation."
"It would be like a second chance at life"
"When you can't remember a thing you did each day? I'd wish that for no one, the point of life is to make memories. So why would you want to do all this fun stuff, then forget about it the next day?"
"Each day I'd start fresh?"
"And one day you won't recognise me. Or even your family, you'll forget everything and will consider us strangers for the rest of your 'fresh new days'."
"You're right."
"I damn well know I am."
He lifted the cup of water and pills and placed them into my hands.
"I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself Jon. You have to at least try to get better."
"I will."
"Promise?"
I paused mentally affirming it to myself
"Promise."
Lin smiled as I swallowed the pills then we both went to the kitchen to make breakfast.
"I feel like a massive breakfast today. Thoughts?"
"Yea why not?"
I replied and Lin started to make an English breakfast before me. I tried to help but eventually left him to it in the kitchen and just set the table.
"What do we need?"
"Salt, Pepper, Ketchup and anything else you think you need"
He shouted back as I retrieved what he listed and placed them on the table. After a while I got bored so I got out napkins and turned them into tiny origami boxes. As the time went on I made more and more so when Lin eventually came in with breakfast:
"Oh my God Jon. I mean, they look nice, but on a practical scale?"
I laughed and scrunched them all up into a ball to later put in the bin. After putting the plates down Lin spoke up
"You realise how many napkins you just wasted?"
"Only because you didn't want them as boxes."
He rolled his eyes and we began to eat.
"I'm sorry for touching on this but while you were with Andy, did he take you out anywhere in public?"
"I don't think so..."
"No walks or anything?"
I fell silent as it dawned on him.
"You don't remember, do you?"
I remained silent
"Fuck, this is exactly what I meant! I didn't expect it to come so soon though. You remember nothing? It was two days ago!"
I just looked down at my hands as he continued to get worked up.
"At least fucking talk to me Jon!"
I looked up at him and his eyes were wide and angry, at me? What did I do? Did I say something wrong?
"Jon?!"
He studied my facial expression as I watched his fill with worry.
"We're going to the hospital now."
"Why?"
"Just, get in the car okay?"
I agreed since he looked like a stressed out wreck.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing, you just need one of those monthly checkups they do okay? Just turn on the radio or something."
I complied and the rest of the car journey was silent. The car then stopped in a random car park and Lin got out of the car to open my door.
"Where are we?"
"Hospital. You're getting a checkup."
"Am I ill?"
"Kind of."
We walked in and Lin began to explain my case to the receptionist, I tried to overhear the conversation but amongst all the other conversations and babies crying it was near enough impossible.
"Come on then."
"Is this A and E?"
He hesitated
"Yes. Just follow me and - no more questions, please."
He looked exhausted so I stayed silent. Why was I in A and E? Am I dying? My breathing sped up as I looked at the hospital beds. Have I been here before?