All The Hurt Would Go Away

Just let me out...

I watched as the clock reached the ten.p.m, Andrew still hadn't approached me and I've got no clue what room he's in. The movie ended ages ago and I've sat on this couch reflecting on everything, the steady ticking of the clock being the only company I had.
"Get up."
Although I couldn't see Andrew, the voice gave it away and I stood immediately, slightly disoriented at how quickly I got up. I didn't have the guts to turn and face him so I had no idea whether he had left the room or if he was still standing in the doorway. I was corrected as I felt cold fingers caressing my neck, I fought the urge to pull away from his touch since he was already angry. I felt his warm breath against my neck followed by his lips and started to squirm away from his touch but he used his arms to hold me in place.
"You stay right here and take it bitch."
He growled in my ear, then travelled down my neck leaving a bruise causing me to moan quietly. I gasped after, realising what just happened and broke apart from Andrew who was smiling wickedly.
"Still can't resist me huh?"
I was flushed with embarrassment and began to look anywhere but where Andrew was.
"Look at me."
I gulped and slowly trailed my eyes up to his.
"Now do you see where resisting gets you? I'll always find another way to get you to react."
I nodded and he motioned for me to elaborate.
"Y-Yes. I understand."
"I don't want you to respond to anything I say non-verbally unless I tell you to. And that's either going to be a phone call, or if I won't let you moan in bed. Speaking of, it's time for you to get some sleep."
He left and I quickly followed, grabbing my bag in the process.
"You'll be staying in my room since it's a double bed. There is a guest bed but that shouldn't change anything right? You'll still be in my bedroom."
"Yeah."
I sadly replied as we walked past the guest room and towards his. It would have changed a lot if he let me sleep in my own room since I'm 'settling in' but he did say I don't control a thing. He opened the door and sat on the side of the bed.
"Pick a side. It probably won't stay like that later on but we might as well. At least, you can put your stuff on that side."
I moved to the side with the window so I could see the sunrise and sunset, I didn't have the door but I doubt I'd be able to use it anyway.
"Interesting choice. You go unpack while I turn the lights off and all that."
I feel like Andrew purposefully didn't show me around the rooms upstairs so that I'd have to ask him where everything was. His room was actually immaculate, dusted and polished, a startling contrast to his messy morals. At the same time though, I was more creeped out by his clean room than if it were messy. He seemed more of a maniac to me now than before.
"You're not changed yet?"
I turned to Andrew who was leaning against the doorway watching me with a raised brow.
"I-I didn't pack anything for..."
I mumbled and a smile grew on his face.
"Ah, so I'm not the only one with those intentions."
"N-No I didn't have the time."
He hummed in amusement then looked me up and down.
"Guess you'll have to sleep in your boxers then."
My eyes widened and he laughed
"I'm kidding. Second drawer down over there, grab whatever you want."
I opened it and grabbed a shirt yet to find it was more of a nightie than shirt. I could tell he planned it so that it looked like we were a couple.
"Adorable. Go brush your teeth and whatever else."
"U-Um where's the restroom?"
I squeaked and he chuckled to himself
"Ah yes, silly me. Come on then."
He gestured for me to go through the door in front of him then he rested his hand on my lower back to guide me. We reached a closed door and he stopped
"Here we are, sort yourself out and I'll wait to take you back."
I did know my way now, his house isn't that big. But I didn't want to challenge him any further than I already have. Around ten minutes later I was done and opened the door to see him waiting outside.
"Took you long enough. Come on then."
Once again his hand stayed on my lower back as we walked. I couldn't lie and say it was comforting and nice, if anything it was the opposite. A rapist and murderer guiding me around his house, the more I thought about it the more uncomfortable I got. I quickly walked over to my side of the room again and sat on the side of the bed, facing away from Andrew.
"Right, it's almost eleven. When do you usually sleep?"
"Around this time."
I stifled a yawn and he smiled.
"I don't sleep at all these days so whenever you want to snooze feel free. I think it's insomnia but I'm not sure."
Great. More proof that he's mucked up in the head. He's killed someone, raped someone and can't sleep - I imagine it's the nightmares, or is he just clinically insane?
"I never thought I'd say this to anyone but please stop thinking."
I turned to look at Andrew and he chuckled.
"I know you're not going silent by choice, you're concentrating on something hence why you can't distract yourself by talking. I expected you to be resistant on the first night but I didn't expect you to be mute."
"I-I'm sorry?"
"Talk to me. What's something that you haven't been able to avoid thinking about before you got here? Or is there someone bothering you? I don't want to be the only one benefiting from this."
I sighed, there was so much I hadn't told anyone and now I have the opportunity to tell my struggles to a man who will rape me. Is it really worth it? But on the other hand, I know he will listen.
"I don't really know where to start."
"One problem per night, how about that? Start with the innermost problem tonight because you don't hate me that much yet, then as the nights continue we can start talking about the small stuff."
It seemed plausible, I nodded then quickly stated I agreed with his idea.
"So what's the biggest issue you're facing?"
"I don't get it."
"Don't get what?"
"Everything."
"You're gonna have to be more precise than that Jon."
"Why Stacy? Why her uncle? Why you? Why me? Why Lin? Why did everything have to happen the way it did and why did it have to affect us so much?"
"Woah, calm down there -"
He chuckled and I looked down, embarrassed.
"- All I can say is that it's life. And I understand that it's rotten luck but the whole idea of luck is just a gamble in itself. You just gotta suck it up and deal with it, and if you don't you get in even shittier luck."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You gotta prove to life that you don't care. Then life will eventually leave you alone. It wants to hurt you, it wants to ruin you because that's what it does. Anything else you wanna expand?"
"I don't understand you."
"What about me?"
"Everything, your quick alternating emotions, your sudden aggressiveness. If I don't know what will make you angry how am I supposed to know how to not get in harms way?"
"You're not. That's the game. A crime is like a drug. You can try some and hate the taste or feeling, then you can try others and savour every moment of it. I hated murder, I've regretted it since, but you-you're the drug I liked. I never felt so much pleasure than I did through you. And, like drugs, people get addicted too."
"So you're addicted - to me?"
"That's one way of putting it, yes, I am."
"But surely having more won't help you get over it?"
"But having less causes the need to rise and when I find you it'll be even worse."
"You said you'd be out of our lives forever though?"
"I will, it'll be difficult but I'll stay true to my word."
"That's a first."
I muttered coldly, I know he heard me but I didn't care. Wrong choice but oh well. I turned away from Andrew to go to sleep but still heard his haunting words:
"Every single sign of resistance makes it worse for you when the time comes. Remember that my dear otherwise you'll be in for a shock. And I've said before, I show no mercy."