All The Hurt Would Go Away

Tomorrow won't remind me of today...

Lin opened my car door smiling sympathetically when he let me out, tears were brewing in my eyes but I refused to wipe them away, I was too drained from the news.
"The kids are out, I have to pick them up. Is it okay to leave you here? Or should I drop you off at your mum's place?"
"Mum"
I murmured and got back in the car to his amusement, about ten minutes later I left and knocked on the door.
"Jon! Jon? Are you okay?"
I looked up at my mother standing in the doorway looking at me in concern.
"He's gone."
"Who?"
I started to break down again and she rushed me inside and onto the couch in her living room.
"Okay, who's gone?"
"A-Andrew."
"What do you mean by gone?"
"He signed up to a mental hospital, he's gone and he won't be able to contact me till he's out."
"Isn't that good? He wants to better himself for you."
"I thought we were done with all that though, I thought it was over."
"He's not leaving you Jon -"
"- But he is! He obviously wasn't happy with how we were so he needed to escape, he left me. He's not finished and won't see past what happened so he wants to spend even more time apart, away from me. How many more hints?"
"Jon, calm down. He wants to get better for you, he's leaving so that you both can make it right when you next meet."
"What if he doesn't come back?"
She fell silent and leant back on the couch
"What do you mean."
"He doesn't return here, or, he never gets out of the place. What if he goes insane without me but I can't contact him?"
"This is the type of conversation which needs a warm drink and slice of cake."
I smiled to myself as she stood up and brushed herself off to go to the kitchen. It's these moments where I feel bad for ever ignoring my mother, forgetting how she wouldn't hesitate to make sure I was comfortable in any situation and if not she'd keep trying till I was. I was pulled out of my thoughts when she returned.
"Jon, if this man didn't love you, he wouldn't go to the hospital would he? He would just ruin you more and carry on till he gets caught again. He wants to sort himself out. But when he comes back it's your choice whether you take him back or not, you might have met someone kinder and better for you. If he's already enrolled as you say, he's already thought of that outcome and by enrolling he's okay with that. If he wasn't okay with it he would've stayed so that you would never meet anyone else in that way. The man loves you for christ sake Jon! I don't know what else to say."
She handed me my slice of cake and I gratefully ate a piece.
"Is this?"
"Red velvet, your favourite."
As if I couldn't love my mother any more, she turned on the tv to change the subject and automatically turned it back off. I gave her a weird look and she explained
"I know you don't like normal tv, I do remember these things Jon."
I laughed in response as she piped up
"I have an idea! Your photo album!"
"What?"
"Oh please, every mother keeps an album of photos marking each step of their kids life. I can't believe I've never shown you it!"
She rushed out and returned with a deep red A5 folder and opened it to reveal many photos of some little brunette kid.
"Is that me?"
I pointed at a photo showing a little kid with chocolate cake smushed all over his face, he was laughing and had the chocolate icing all over his fingers. There was a television behind him playing Brooklyn 99, it had taken place in our old, old kitchen. I had entirely forgotten about that room until just now, I remembered the cupboards I explored with my small stature.
"Yes that is you silly! If I'm correct that was your sixth birthday before the other kids got there you decided to raid the birthday cake."
I let out a laugh as I looked again at the happy little me, if only he knew what his future held, I should be happy to see past photos but it only made me more sad. I was so confident, I didn't care about how I presented myself or what others thought of me. I've completely changed, lost roughly three and a half years of personal memory and have become a victim and witness to crimes that have haunted me from even getting told about them. I mindlessly flicked through the photos lost in my thoughts until my mother interrupted me.
"Jonathan Groff, if you really feel this terrible about it go tell the guy."
"Uh-I mean- what?"
"Look at you! You can't even focus on a photo let alone a conversation! Go tell him how you feel and he will explain why, instead of second guessing yourself constantly."
"I was dropped off mum, and you can't drive."
She shoved some dollars into my hand
"I'll tell Lin to pick you up from there, go on son, I'm proud of you."
I smiled and hugged her before she hurried me out of the door holding my slice of cake in a tupperware. The front door shut behind me and I sighed to myself, she could've at least allowed me to stay in the warm while waiting for Lin. It was short lived though since it is a quick drive away, as I opened the car door Lin asked
"I was told to pick you up, everything alright?"
"She told me to tell Andrew about how upset I am about it."
"Sooooo..."
"Can I have a lift there?"
"I guess I'll have to."
He teasingly remarked, I was already inside the car with my seatbelt on so it didn't change much, I wasn't planning to leave the car anyway. As Lin started to drive I tried to not get too nervous about the sudden visit at Andrew's, will my appearance just anger him since I left with no reason earlier? It was beginning to get dark, is anything going to happen like that? I shook the thoughts out of my head and looked around me to see the car parked in the driveway.
"You off then?"
"Uh - yeah."
I opened the car door taking a deep breath and walking to the door, as Lin drove off I prepared myself for the most risky visit since that night. Here I am, in the cold darkness yet again outside the front door.