All The Hurt Would Go Away

So much of me to go around...

"So?"
"What do you want."
"Jon I don't want anything just allow me one civil conversation. Please?"
I couldn't turn that down if I tried.
"Fine."
"How d'ya like my acting skills?"
"They were good."
He scowled. Ha.
"Rude much?"
"I didn't even see the whole of the first act."
"Want me to spoil it?"
"Go ahead."
"I die at the end."
"Should of stayed."
"Hey!"
He lightly pushed me as I laughed. As if nothing happened. A brief silence fell as we both realised the heaviness of this situation.
"Have you really changed?"
"What? Yes! I haven't called you any pet names which I remember you loved and I haven't teased you and I -"
"- I don't need proof, I need a conclusion. Think about it though, don't just answer yes then break me again."
My voice cracked as his eyes softened, I won't be able to last much longer.
"I have changed Jon. And I would never do such a thing to you or anyone else again, it pains me to think I even did it to anyone let alone you."
I lightly smiled at his confirmation, maybe he has changed and I'm just being weird cause I've been single for so long. It has been three years after all and he does look and act different - more... nice. I continued the thought process until I was interrupted by a sing-songy voice.
"You've been silent for a while Jon..."
"I don't know."
He nodded and stayed silent.
"You murdered Stacy. And raped me."
"It was a debt I had to pay for my career, but I still shouldn't of gone through with it. I should of said no and gone back to being broke. If I hadn't of done it I wouldn't have met you. I would've had no career for you to know me from."
"You wouldn't have raped me either. I know that wasn't a debt."
"You still live at the same place? -"
My jaw clenched at the change of subject.
"Yes."
"Okay."
We remained silent, I could tell he was uneasy about how the conversation was left but he chose to end it that way. The air was thick with anticipation but neither of us would give in. It was too late as he pulled into my driveway. I got out the car and left beginning to unlock the door, tears welling in my eyes.
"I love you Jon."
I looked at him, in his car wiping his eyes trying to stay strong. I nodded unable to trust my own voice and choked on a sob as he nodded back and drove away. He looked broken, like I was when I ran to Lin. I found a foundation and rebuilt with company but he didn't get that in prison. He never healed. I took a deep breath and walked into the house and called Lin to cheer me up.
"Groff sauce! What's up?"
"Just checking up on you"
My voice cracked.
"You at home?"
"Yes"
"See ya in 5"
Before I could stop him the call ended. Great. With nothing else to do I made coffee for us both as the doorbell rang. I opened it immediately and lo and behold, it was Lin holding Ariella and Isaac's hands.
"Mind if they join the party?"
"Of course"
I chuckled and let them in, we set them up with a few toys Lin brought then seated ourselves on the sofa.
"What's wrong."
"Have you seen Andrew yet?"
He was clearly caught off guard at the mention of him but shook his head.
"I've heard he's leapt back into fame though with this Falsettos musical?"
"My mum took me to go watch it."
Immediately Lin leant in closer worried as I continued,
"At first it was okay but then it got too much so I ran out the theatre but then something happened."
Lin looked like he was ready to murder someone.
"It wasn't bad, I don't think, I don't know, so I called you."
I meekly said, embarrassed at my feeble explanation.
"That's fine Jon, what thing happened?"
"Well since it wasn't Broadway, Andrew was able to switch out with his understudy and he ran after me and offered a lift, I said no at first but he seemed so lost and I had to let him just this once."
I looked up briefly to read Lin's reaction - he looked as if the wrong word would set him off.
"At first it was tense but then we loosened up and made a joke then it went back to tension when we realised how we shouldn't be taking it too far too quick."
"Sounds about right."
"I know that but when I left the car he said he loved me. Don't get mad. He served time and he was crying - full on sobbing when he said it."
"He caused the damage Jon."
"I know but I could heal with company while he was alone in jail, what if he hates himself for what he did?"
"He should."
I rolled my eyes.
"You know what I mean, he is still hurt from it."
"You are way too empathetic for your own good Jon, way too good."
I lightly smiled as Lin gave me a hug.
"Here's my advice, personally I think he's a dick for killing my fiancé, but if he really has changed I want to meet him. I don't care when but I need face to face proof that he is sorry."
I nodded, it made sense to be suspicious.
"Oh and if you go round his house, make him work for a relationship."
I laughed picking up my mug to wash as he winked.
"First things first, don't put away your plates and that to wash - let him."
He laughed as I glared at him, the small bubbles are my biggest aesthetic and I wouldn't miss them out for the world.
"I'm kidding, you get what I mean though. One day I swear I'm gonna steal that fairy liquid just to annoy you"

AN: Herro, Lin to save the day like he usually does :)