All The Hurt Would Go Away

You great unfinished symphony...

I could faintly hear my name being called but my entire focus was on that single sentence:
"I can't wait for when you move back in here by yourself."
It reverberated through my mind. I can't stay here. I can't stay here. I can't stay here. He'll be waiting, he knows, he knows everything. His voice was everywhere, it's claws mercilessly clenching around my throat stealing each breath. Was there any use trying to escape someone who will never leave your mind? Through rest and wake it resounds and rings in your ears until it's satisfied. I can't stay here. I can't stay here. He knows. He'll find me. He knows everything.
"Jon!"
In my peripheral vision I could see a blurry figure cautiously approaching me, it's hands were displayed in front so I could see they weren't hiding anything. It wasn't him. I noticed his lips syncing with each time my name was called, as I focused more I could see Lin.
"Lin?"
"Jon, I do not intend to harm you in any way. Do you want me to help you stand up?"
He held a hand out and I took it lifting myself up.
"Follow me."
I followed him to my living room and he sat down on the couch next to me.
"Don't tell me everything, tell me the thing that he said which caused you to react."
I paused and took a shallow breath before reciting
"I can't wait for when you move back in here by yourself."
I held myself back from continuing on but in the end I just burst out with everything my anxiety forced me to believe
"He knows Lin. He'll make me move somewhere and he'll track me down. I can't stay here. I just can't."
"Jon, calm down. We'll figure this out okay? Do you want me to file a police report for breaking in?"
"What proof do we have?"
I replied sombrely
"The card on your bed?"
"He would've used gloves."
"Then... we'll find the gloves!"
"Probably ashes by now."
A silence lay thickly as Lin thought to himself, I don't know why he was even trying, he'd outsmarted us and that was his big finale. The irony of it all is that it's time to go home, but where even is that now? It's one big Act 2 of any musical, and we're the dumb characters the audience want to scream at. Exit Stage Left Jonathan. Quick Change Jonathan. Surprise guest in the audience for you Jonathan. He's coming backstage Jonathan. Hide Jonathan. Say your goodbyes Jonathan.
"Jon. Stay here."
"I can't stay here I won't stay here."
"No, I mean, don't let your mind wander off to nightmare land. Stay in the present."
"Sorry."
He nodded then watched over his kids muttering
"Do you think I'm a bad parent?"
"What? No!"
"Are you sure? I always send them off to abuela and abuelo. Do they even miss me when they go?"
"Of course they do Lin, don't let him get to you."
"He's got a point though. Did you know Ariella's first word was in the company of her abuela? I was too busy to see my daughter say her first word."
I softened my tone of voice
"What was her first word though?"
We both knew the answer but he had to remind himself
"Papá."
He choked out, smiling at her although she was playing with toys
"See? She was thinking of you, you may have not been there. But she cared about you enough to say that as her first word. If she didn't love you it would've been 'abuela' or 'barbie' for heavens sake!"
He laughed when I mentioned barbie, both of us knowing she will never get any sort of doll as out of proportion as that make.
"D-Don't believe a word he says okay? He's trying to get to me, he called you entertainment. Don't let him use you like that for his humour."
"Means a lot from the guy having a panic attack."
I gave him a look and he muttered an apology. We both then resorted to watching the kids play until Lin gestured for me to follow him to the kitchen and make lunch.
"As I said, I don't know what here is still edible."
"One of us needs to go shopping."
I remained silent
"And, I think I should stay with the kids. For once."
He stated before looking back at me
"Wha-What if he's out there?"
"You're going into a public shop, people will see."
"What if on the way he grabs me, lots of stuff happens in alleyways, people don't walk down alleyways that much."
"It's broad daylight. He's smarter than that Jonathan."
"Reassuring."
"I know."
I rolled my eyes and played it off like it was no biggie. It was a biggie. A heavy, wide, block of biggie. But Andrew had clearly gotten to Lin and he needed to prove himself as he always does. Hamilton's idea of legacy has triggered him to constantly rethink his reasoning, I guess it's good morally but in terms of time and punctuality it's not so good. Eventually my thought process registered its deliberate distraction and set me back on track of the biggie I had to do. Any day before this I would be fine, but Andrew has been to this house and I watched him leave. There is a 99% chance he's in the neighbourhood now just waiting for his easy attack when I walk to the shops alone. Yes maybe I'm exaggerating slightly, but it proves a point nonetheless.
"Jon?"
"Huh?"
"You spaced out again. Would it be so hard to try to keep focus?"
"Sorry."
He sighed then went over what he wanted me to buy again, he handed me a couple notes and sent me off. Nothing could compare to the hollowed sense of dread when I heard the front door lock click shut behind me. No more turning away to hide now Jon. I anxiously began to walk further into No Mans Land.