All The Hurt Would Go Away

I'm okay, I'm ahead...

"Hey I'm just gonna go post something Lin I'll call you if anything happens"
Lin sent a thumbs up in my direction since he was feeding the kids. Nodding to myself I opened the front door and clicked it shut behind me, the letter in my other hand visibly shaking. I felt so exposed, just walking around holding my secret in my hand for anyone to just take off me and read as they please. Something that's destroyed me over the past three years on an A4 piece of paper. I felt eyes on me wherever I went and my pace quickened yet to find no one was even following me. Shaking it off I reached the postbox and dropped the letter in fear, picking it back up I took deep breaths. If this letter gets intercepted, that'll be the end of everything. It was a small chance but nonetheless precautions had to be made, except this time I just had to trust the system.
"You gonna post it or what?"
I heard a man say gruffly behind me, I shortly apologised pushing the letter through and walking away. He did the same immediately after muttering a string of insults to my back. Sighing I turned around to face him as he looked me up and down
"Hey, you're a Broadway gay aren't ya?"
I nodded unsure of whether it was a compliment or not.
"I've seen ya in Hamilton, real funny stuff. Sorry about all that been a long day you know?"
I smiled uneasily and turned back around to walk away. That could have gone entirely the opposite way so I was thankful. Getting home was a bother since I caught my arm on a building while turning a corner so one of the scabs came off a cut and I was unsure of how bad it was. Unlocking the door I walked in to see Lin's relieved face
"I was just about to go out looking for you! You alright?"
I nodded but he caught sight of my arm which now had a red stain where I assumed the cut was. He sighed
"Upstairs then, I'll get a change of clothes. You gotta be careful okay?"
"Yeah."
We went upstairs to the bathroom and he slowly peeled off the sleeve from the cut followed by the bandage. The material rubbing against it while I was walking caused some other cuts to bleed a bit but it wasn't serious.
"The only time I've actually seen this happen was when we listened to the recording of the call, all the other times you've been alone. I'm sorry but I've got to keep you at home now, otherwise I don't know where you are and whether you're safe."
I stayed silent as he dried the tap water off my arm.
"Tomorrow, I'll be at home all day and I want you to be too, as in you won't leave the house at all."
He looked up at me to take in my reaction but I was completely numb.
"And until the cuts heal it'll stay that way."
Now I reacted, that'll be at least three weeks!
"I'm sorry Jon but I can't do it any other way I need to know you are healing and not getting worse. No risks this time."
I stayed silent.
"Dinner will be ready in ten. I can bring it up to your room though."
I nodded my head, I need time to think this through. He nodded back and left to go downstairs, I cannot wait that long inside. Being active is one of the things I like most, it's a change of scenery, different experience every time. As I lay in bed I began to go through my phone for anything exciting.
Andy:
Hey, wanna meet
sometime? I don't
want to push it it's
okay if you can't xx

Me:
I can't at all
I like you but
I'm staying
inside now
until my
cuts have
healed.

Andy:
Lin?

Me:
Yep

Andy:
I'd do the same
if I got to take
care of you. We
can still talk.

Me:
It's gonna be
at least a month
I wouldn't bother
waiting if I were
you.

Andy:
I waited three
years, I'll always
wait for you xx

I smiled at the text, he does know how to make someone feel special but he does know how to destroy someone too. I heard a light knock on the door and Lin walked in holding my dinner in a tray, unsure of whether to be mad or not I lightly smiled but didn't say a word to him as he placed it in front of me and left, the door clicking shut behind him. I lightly chuckled the smiley face he made out of cocoa powder on the cappuccino. Of course. I unlocked my phone again going on YouTube watching a couple of Falsettos videos to pass the time. After going through about five songs I saw a bootleg of the entire musical pop up so I tapped on it. I could report it but I've never done that in my life, although it's the right thing to do I can't help but think of the people who can only see it through a bootleg and I wouldn't want to ruin that. I watched it while eating my dinner laughing at some of the songs and altogether was unable to avert my eyes from it. The hospital scenes reminded me a lot of the musical I was in, 'A New Brain', Christian was amazing as Mr Bungee and is succeeding Marvin pretty well. Andrew however, I remained slightly uncomfortable throughout his solos - everything he sang was twisted towards romance and after our endeavour some of the lyrics were uncanny. Finishing my dinner I continued to watch placing the tray aside, midway through 'what would I do?' Lin knocked on the door causing me to immediately turn off my phone and wipe any tears before he walked in. I could tell he was suspicious of me lying in bed doing nothing but I remained still, not showing any signs to help him find out what I was doing. Just before he left I muttered
"Why are you doing this to me? You know how much I love to be outdoors."
He sighed, still with his back facing me.
"Or are you too heartless to realise that?"
He dropped the tray causing the cutlery to clash hurting my ears. I squinted my eyes shut at the noise opening them again to see Lin facing me in the doorway shaking with rage.
"Don't say that. Ever."
He stormed out the room leaving the tray on the floor and went downstairs. I stayed in my bed wondering what the hell just happened.