All The Hurt Would Go Away

Get it over with...

I was hurried by the nurses to another ward, they all looked panicked so I didn't want to ask questions to stress them out more; instead I complied.
"Jon lie down."
"What, in the bed?"
Lin sighed
"Yes, don't stress about this it's only a body scan checkup. They ran out of room to do it in the hospital so now you're in A and E. Nothing more."
I nodded and settled into the bed using the remote to make myself comfortable.
"Okay, I'm gonna leave for a bit so it'll just be you and the nurses."
I nodded and he left. Great. One of the nurses walked out of the room returning with a doctor.
"Hello Jon, do you know who I am?"
"No."
I hesitantly replied
"My name is Max, I operated on you a week ago."
Now I felt bad for forgetting this guy existed, if it were longer it would be understandable but right now it's just plain rude.
"Anyway, it seems that -"
"- I'm sorry."
"What?"
"For forgetting your name. I feel bad."
"It's not technically your fault Jon, it's - nevermind. It seems that your memory has been deteriorating further since we fixed you up last time, do you know why?"
"No, is it genetic?"
"No something happened to you, your memory got worse because you forgot to take your medicine we prescribed. At first it could have been refusal or something like that but days later you must have forgotten you even went to hospital."
"Oh."
Was all I could bring myself to say, for every answer I was given a million questions erupted inside my head. It seems I'll never get the full story that I should remember myself. Is this it for the rest of my life then?
"You have lost a great deal of memory already, however we could change that and help you remember what you are told about the past."
"What do you mean?"
"You won't remember how you experienced it exactly, however say if Lin told you what happened, you'd remember that."
"Is there no way to -?"
"It'd be a miracle."
I nodded and Lin was called back in, this time he brought the kids.
"He will have to stay bed ridden here for a night while we figure things out but should be fine tomorrow. We recommend you to stay with him. Is there anywhere the kids can go?"
"My parents. I'll call them."
Lin sighed to himself getting his phone out, I knew he wanted some quality time with his children and felt bad to ruin it.
"While they're driving over, what's the plan of action?"
"He won't remember events as he personally experienced."
Lin's face changed with a tinge of sadness but he quickly covered it up.
"However, if you tell him what has happened on a certain date for example, he'd remember every word you said."
"Well, that's great news!"
Lin painfully exclaimed, I could tell he was trying to cover up his sadness of hearing the news. His phone lit up with a text as the doctor eyed it.
"Would you like me to take the kids down to the car park?"
"Please."
When it was just us two, Lin sat on the chair next to my bed and smiled slightly.
"Well well well, hello Jonathan Groff."
"Lin Manuel Miranda, hello there."
He rolled his eyes playfully.
"So when are they gonna play with your brain then?"
"Sometime tonight."
A brief silence filled the ward
"I'm so sorry Jon."
"For what? It's my fault."
"No, from the start you should have been reminded. I ruined another person's life, that's all I'll ever do. You needed me and I refused to help until it's too late. Just like Stacy."
"Stacy?"
He sighed
"Another story another time."
"It's not your fault. Whatever bad thing happened to me which started all this, it must have been partially my decision otherwise it would've never taken place. That's the root of the blame."
"Andrew Rannells."
"Who?"
Lin's eyes were blazing as he ignored my question entirely, lost in his thoughts. I didn't want to anger him since he already looked mad so instead I looked down fiddling with the hospital admittance band on my wrist. Lin was just staring into space barely noticing any movement around him. Eventually the doctor returned causing Lin to blink out of his thoughts.
"So, this should work through medication but if not then surgery would take place under your permission."
Me and Lin both nodded.
"Will I -?"
"- You would have a scar however this procedure doesn't usually require surgery, it's simply a possible outcome."
I went quiet as he explained to Lin all the medication stuff. Scars usually make people look badass however I'm not one of those people, I don't want to look like I've been through hell on a permanent level. All because I couldn't take stupid medication. It's hardly worth a scar. Especially if someone asks how I got it.
"We'll start the dosage in a few minutes, he may feel a bit woozy and exhausted but that is the bodily reaction. Nothing to worry about there, so, I'll see you in a while Jon."
He smiled at me and I smiled back, the irony of this not being a joyous occasion at all was overbearing.
"You won't need surgery."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You just won't. We'll pay extra I don't care; I won't let you have a permanent reminder of this."
"Lin calm down, we'll see how the medication goes first then worry about that."
Lin went quiet and the doctor returned with a needle sort of contraption and set to work for some sort of vein dosage in my arm. I started to lose my breath as Lin quickly clocked what was happening.
"Fuck, I forgot Jon is scared of needles; has been all his life, he can cope but just warning you doc"
The doctor nodded and continued to work as I kept eye contact with Lin who was trying to get me to relax.
"Think of something else, do you remember a song or anything?"
"Sailing."
I rasped out then Lin and the Doctor froze. Lin barely spluttered out a reply
"What song?"
"Sailing, from A New Brain the musical. I was Gordon."
"Oh my God Jon! You remember that? That was fairly recent before Hamilton!"
"This guy used to sing it for me. Alex? Anthony?"
"Andy."
Lin replied monotonously with clear hatred. I didn't want to push it any further since the Doctor was still in the room, however, when he was done, the effects kicked in from the dosage; my mind went foggy and all I could do was fall into a deep sleep. Leaving the conversation open and unfinished along with all the other burning questions I had.