All The Hurt Would Go Away

Be brave and you're gonna be fine...

Three knocks on the door, that was all I needed to know it was him. We weren't given a time, a place, nothing was told. We just waited, and like a predator hunts their prey, he found us. I took a deep breath and nodded at Lin, he wasn't convinced - neither of us were convinced. But it had to do. He lifted himself off the couch and opened the door, met by silence I anxiously listened for Andrew's cursed voice. But I heard nothing, I didn't hear Lin, nor Andrew, only the door clicking open and shut. I didn't dare turn around though, in case I wasn't alone in the room. I was relieved once I heard shuffling, he was taking his shoes off, obviously meaning he intended to stay. Did he want Lin out? Is he going to anger Lin like he used to? Then the door to the living room opened and I froze, my back facing the door due to the position of the couch.
"And so we meet again, Jon."
I cringed when he used my nickname, I explained to Lin why I didn't like it. The two sides of my brain were conflicted about whether or not I should turn around and face him. Oblivious to my internal raging war, Andrew continued to taunt me.
"You knew this was coming. The best part of this is that I had nothing to do with my decision. You decided to play with fire and you got burnt. Simple as that. Black coffee please Lin."
Although he did make it seem like it, something told me Lin hadn't offered. But he just had that kind of authority that you have to obey. The door swung slightly signalling Lin's exit from the room, okay should I turn around now or -?
"So, how's Ariella? I've been told she barely made a fuss, all of this for a girl who was fine without you. I said it was a big risk."
"Ariella's fine. Happy to be home."
"Mhmm, and your father?"
I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, I didn't want to reply but it's the authority thing again. Sucking up the courage I turned to face him, but still stayed seated on the couch.
"I didn't get to talk to him."
"Pity."
He mocked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I know he doesn't give a shit but he did ask sooo...
"Here's the coffee."
Lin settled the mug on the dinner table, purposely away from me so that Andrew had to move. I sent a quick grateful glance in Lin's direction and he nodded back when Andrew wasn't looking.
"Actually, could I have it here please?"
He gestured to the side table next to the couch, I was sitting on that side, so literally next to me. To my fear, Lin grudgingly picked up the mug of coffee and placed it on a coaster next to me. I would stand and move away but my feet are frozen in place, I'm pretty sure Andrew would follow anyway.
"Well, I'm sure you two are aching to know what will happen over the next couple of days. How many days did Lin suffer through without his daughter?"
Lin took a quick intake of breath as if to correct Andrew but I gave him a pointed look, basically saying 'I wouldn't if I were you'. Instead I simply replied
"Five days, five nights."
"Yes, so I will have my dearest Jon for five days and six nights -"
"- Wait. That's not -"
"- fair? Welcome to real life Lin, it's not all sunshine and rainbows now is it? You of all people should know that."
He hissed, Lin fell silent and I uncomfortably sunk lower into the couch.
"I will have him for that amount of time and either he will walk back, get an Uber, or you can visit him in hospital afterwards. Entirely depending on how I'm feeling each day."
"I swear to god if you lay a hand on him -"
"- I'll be laying more than a hand on him, surely you've figured that out. Now shut up before you say even more bullshit."
Once again, Lin shut up and my eyes travelled to Andrew's. He took a breath as if to calm himself down then smiled at me, it was a nice smile, but I could tell it was the calm before the storm. He then turned to face me, crouching so his eyes were level to mine. He spoke with a quieter tone now, mainly just studying my face. I've got no idea what he's doing but I just stared straight back as an attempt to intimidate him. You can guess it isn't working.
"Once I'm done with him I should be out of your lives. Unless anything out of scheme takes place, then I'll return. It's not rocket science really, don't escape, don't call the cops, don't get friends to help and so forth. Oh and one more thing -"
He then raised a hand to cup my face and slightly tilted his head the other way to mine. If he's going to try and kiss me I swear to god. Instead, to my surprise he then spoke in a lower, harsher tone, despite his body language. "- you deserve this, so take it bitch."
I quickly fazed out as his hand came across my face, the pain after explaining what just happened. He used the same hand cupping my face to slap me across the cheek and by god it hurt like hell. I raised a hand to my throbbing face and looked up to see Andrew and Lin having a stare off.
"Oh! Oh no! I laid a hand on him. What are you planning to do about it?"
There was a brief silence before Lin stormed out of the room, the lock clicking shut signalling he was in the study. Great. Now I'm left with the bastard.
"Please enlighten me on how you manage to steer clear of that temper."
"I don't rape or kill people."
His eyes met mine, now a cold glare.
"You better watch that fucking mouth Jon, or you'll get into more trouble than you're already in. And believe me, I will not show mercy when it comes to you."
I shuddered and tried to make myself seem smaller, maybe he just won't see me and will leave me alone. Or maybe he'll just roll his eyes and laugh.
"So pathetic. You're first night is tonight, unless you wanna be enough of a slut to wear my clothes for the next few days I'd pack some stuff. Easy to take off, remember."
He taunted and stood up allowing my escape, I could feel his eyes on me, watching me leave like the creep he is. I need to somehow tell Lin but he'll have headphones in and my phone is downstairs with Andrew. Sighing I grabbed two-hands-full of clothes and shoved them in a bag. I packed my toothbrush, hairbrush and some cologne. Everything else can stay, I'm not gonna try to look perfect for that excuse of a human being.
"Took your time."
"I was packing."
"Congratulations. Let's go."
"Wait"
He turned to me with an amused smirk, prompting me to continue.
"I-I want to say goodbye to Lin."
He rolled his eyes and grunted for me to go ahead. I knocked on the door, and, thankfully Lin opened it; immediately his eyes travelled down to my bag and looked back up at me with a sad expression.
"Uh, I'm going now, and, I don't want to drag it out in case he makes fun of me but -"
I was interrupted mid-sentence by Lin hugging me, he moved his head and quietly whispered in my ear
"You can survive this. I know you will. I'm not gonna say goodbye this is a 'see you later' cause you're stronger than he could ever be."
He pulled away from the hug and I nodded, not fully convinced but still mainly hopeful. He nodded back and slightly tilted his head towards Andrew. I took a shaky breath and faced the front door, with Andrew standing next to it watching me. I don't think any high schooler could beat the look of pure judgement and disappointment written across his face. Sighing I swung the bag over my shoulder and left Lin's house, he was following behind me so I couldn't turn back I presume. We got into the car and he took my bag tossing it onto the backseats.
"Finally you're mine."
He remarked, then assuming my negative mood he continued.
"I'm not gonna fuck you tonight. I would love to, and I kinda need a good fuck. But I can tell you'd be a little bitch if I did."
He looked over at me then back to the road.
"How about a takeaway meal and a movie night? You can't just ignore me for all this time, you can try but I'll make you moan. That's the least I can make you do. You have to realise you are my property until next week Tuesday. All. Mine. Now, I'll ask again, does a takeaway meal and movie sound good to you?"
"Yes?"
I croaked out, how can he just make people feel so small? I swear that's the opposite of love, I just somehow fell for it. The rest of the car ride was silent, probably because I wasn't helping when he tried to start conversation. I preferred silence anyway, that was until we approached the driveway to Andrew's house.
"Phone."
"Wh-What?"
"I'm not stupid. Give me your phone."
Hesitantly I retrieved the phone from my back pocket and handed it to him, he then opened the window and threw it hard against the ground. I whimpered as it smashed to millions of tiny pieces.
"I'll buy you a better one as a thank you gift. You could've just left your phone at Lin's."
I left the car and waited by the door, fed up with him and the conversation and just everything about where I am. While standing awkwardly, I watched as Andrew left the car locking it behind him. He caught eye contact with me then ground his foot into the remnants of my phone. My eyes travelled down to the scraps that remained, if Andrew could smash a phone into so many pieces only from car window height, I fearfully noted he's got stronger than before. Hardened up both physically and emotionally.
"Get in."
I quickly scarpered inside and took my shoes off, once again awkwardly standing in the corridor.
"Go explore the downstairs part of the house since that's mainly where you'll be during the day. What takeaway do you want?"
I looked around me, conscious that I was exploring my prison cell for the next few days and looking for any phones I could use if things get really bad.
"I said, what takeaway do you want."
I blinked out of the haze and muttered 'Chinese' to which he nodded then went to the phone.
"Are you just gonna stand there gawking or actually move around?"
I quickly moved into the living room to have more privacy rather than explore. My head was beginning to hurt again but I tried to ignore it, I never took those pills I was diagnosed with. I'll just have to pray that the pain will go with time.
"It'll be half an hour. And please stop saying one-worded replies, it's annoying and you don't want me angry."
"Sorry -"
His eyes snapped to mine accusingly and I quickly continued
"- just a bit speechless really."
Wrong word to use. I knew it as I said it and now I'm certain by Andrew's smirk.
"And what is it that is making you speechless then, Jon."
Should I compliment him? Would that put me on better grounds? If I don't he'll get angry and that's the opposite of what I need right now, especially since it's almost night. He had started to approach where I'm standing, although he's only half an inch taller, it still makes a difference when it comes to making me feel small. By now I was looking at the floor, mainly in embarrassment since he loves his awkward questions.
"Jon, do I have to repeat what I -?"
"- You."
His smirk was back and he raised an eyebrow.
"What specifically about me then?"
"Y-Your eyes, and your-your build and your height and -"
"- Okay that's enough. I find your eyes very nice too."
He cupped my face once again, I was still a bit tender from the slap I received earlier but tried not to move away from it. I didn't want to get hit again. He left his hand there in silence and after a while, thankfully, he complimented me.
"So beautiful."
I whispered an awkward 'thanks' and he smiled then left to sit on his couch. I took a deep breath of relief that he didn't push it and turned to face him, not moving towards him, not moving away from him. He obviously took note of this and patted the space on the couch next to him. I caved in and sat down, hunching my shoulders and trying to make sure there'd be no incident of touching Andrew. He obviously had different plans and, placing a hand on my shoulder furthest from him, he pulled me in so he was cuddling me. I didn't make any effort to resist, I couldn't.
"That's better. Now what movie shall we watch?"
Andrew was using the remote to select Frozen and I shook my head abruptly.
"Awww why not? You sound lovely."
How do I tell him I don't want to ruin the movie by being with him when I see it? I raised my hand asking for the remote and reluctantly he passed it over. I then found 'Coco' and clicked it, hopefully the Spanish music will comfort me. Lin's spanglish often does. Andrew shrugged and proceeded to watch the movie to my relief and about twenty minutes in, the doorbell rang. I moved off of Andrew so he could go answer the door, he almost did, then paused and turned back to me with a sly grin.
"Come with me."
He ordered, I briskly stood and followed him to the door. What he was planning was a complete mystery, but I just knew I had to play along. The door swung open and a cheery delivery man stood there holding our food, Andrew returned the smile and pulled me towards him so we were uncomfortably close.
"Why hello there!"
"Hello! It'll be 35$ please."
Andrew turned to me.
"Okay, you just wait here babe while I get my wallet."
I tried not to cringe at the name. My head beginning to pound again, instead I pushed it down and smiled, nodding my head. Andrew smiled back but it was more approval than warmth.
"So, how long have you known each other?"
The delivery man piped up, I tried to reciprocate his happy demeanour but it wasn't working that well.
"Three years now."
"Oh how lovely, you seem very happy together."
I gritted my teeth smiling and said 'thanks'. He smiled back obliviously and Andrew returned.
"And here we are, 35$. Wouldn't want a home cooked meal on our anniversary now would we?"
I could see the delivery man break out a grin at Andrew's announcement. I widened my eyes still smiling at Andrew. They weren't lying when they said acting will help in life. He pulled me close again and tightly hugged me, I sort of stayed still and just got moved around. He then kissed me on the top of my head before saying thanks to the delivery man and shutting the door. As soon as the door was shut he pushed me away causing me to lose balance and hit my back against the corridor wall.
"I thought you were good at acting, what the fuck was that? By the end of my time with you, you'll be the one kissing me by the front door. That was the most pathetic fucking thing I've ever seen!"
He turned and walked to the kitchen leaving me to stretch out my now bruised back. I went to the living room, not wanting to anger him further and sat down on the couch continuing to watch Coco. A couple minutes later Andrew walked in holding one plate, I turned to face him and he rolled his eyes.
"Get your own, it's in the kitchen."
I quickly retrieved my plate and walked out to find him sitting at the dinner table - now where should I sit? If I sit opposite him I'll feel uncomfortable but if I sit on the couch he'll get mad undoubtedly. I sighed and pulled out the chair opposite Andrew, this meant my back would be facing the TV. But, by his smirk, I could tell he planned this so I had to look at him.
"Hope you like sweet and sour chicken, if not you're still eating it."
"I do. Thanks."
I quietly said, beginning to slice one of the pieces of chicken.
"That's another thing you'll have to get used to. In this house, you don't get a choice unless I ask. You don't control a single thing that takes place. And I expect you to be just fine with that because if not, well, I'll just leave it there for you to imagine."
I started to lose my appetite due to what he just said but forced the food into my mouth. He said I had to eat it and now is not the time to claim I'm full. Even if I might have to sneak off to vomit later.
"Oh and also I'm gonna make it harder as each day goes on. I want to break you all over again but I've got time, and I intend to spend it as wisely as possible. Do you understand?"
I kept my eyes focused on the food in front of me. Trying not to show my rising anxiety incase it gets me in even more trouble.
"Yes."
"Look at me. Do you understand?"
I forced myself to look up at Andrew's cold stare, then to my horror I couldn't look away. It was one of those looks where you know the safest thing is to keep eye contact. Just so you know they're not planning attack.
"Yes. I-I do."
"Good."
The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, I refused to look up even once. All I could think about was what Andrew meant by saying it will get harder, surely the nights will be enough? Unless he wants to literally destroy me. I got PTSD from him attempting to touch me in the same manner as he did those years ago. That's all I need clearly, I don't need the struggle to continue. And something tells me he will not call an ambulance, even if I'm dying.
"Finished?"
I looked down at my plate realising there was nothing left and nodded. He took both our plates and called me into the kitchen. Once I entered the room, I could see Andrew filling the sink with soapy water.
"I'm assuming you've guessed that you won't ever be washing the dishes. I'm expecting you to load the dishwasher though and unload it."
If he's got a dishwasher, why is he washing the dishes manually? I sucked in a breath as he approached me then lifted me up to sit on the counter. He's got stronger. He could never do that before.
"Watch."
And so I did, as our plates, glasses and cutlery were left sparkling clean. It wasn't as satisfying, especially since Andrew didn't clean the same way as I did. Once the plates started to stack up on the drying rack I began to lift myself off the counter to dry them off but without him even turning I heard Andrew's voice.
"Stay."
That one word immediately caused me to freeze in my spot. He spoke in such a low tone when he told me to do something. It felt like more of a threat than an order sometimes. I fiddled with my hands as he dried everything off then placed them in the corresponding cupboards and drawers in the kitchen. He drained the sink then turned to me.
"Stop being so weird and self-conscious, I'm gonna see it all anyway."
With his hands he pulled apart my arms which were covering my body as I looked down at my feet. He tried to lower his head and search for eye contact and when I looked at him he sighed and lifted me off of the counter. I could have easily just lowered myself since the counter wasn't even that high up. But since he had already lifted me off, I couldn't stop him.
"Go watch the movie."
I obediently left the room and sat on the couch trying to focus on the film, but my mind kept drifting to what Andrew meant by it getting worse as the days went on. It was getting dark outside and I looked at the clock. Eight pm. Ariella and Isaac should be asleep by now, I know Lin probably won't sleep at all tonight.
"Jon I expect to be able to talk to you. You can't act all shy and awkward for the other five days, I could punish you for this so you're lucky I'm letting you settle in for the first night. You wouldn't remember but you did actually love me once, and it wasn't for the sex. I'm not all bad."
"But there's a big amount of you that is."
I muttered under my breath still watching the TV. A long silence followed and I began to wonder if he heard me.
"What did you just say?"
Shit.
"Nothing."
I quickly exclaimed turning to face him with wide eyes. Simply praying to any god up there for my life.
"Don't try that, I want you to repeat what you just said to me. Louder than before. And don't change the words, I heard you the first time."
He was staring me down as I began to make myself small unconsciously. He obviously noticed and crouched down in front of me so our faces were level. He grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me in violently until we were just centimetres apart and forced eye contact.
"Say it."
He growled. Tears had formed in my eyes mainly out of fear for what was about to happen to me. I took as deep a breath as I could with his hand forcing the collar of my shirt to tighten.
"I-I said that there's a-a big amount of you that still is bad?"
My voice squeaked at the end making it sound like more of a question. In response he released me from his hand pushing me, by my throat, back into the couch and stormed out of the room. I was left coughing and trying to regulate my breathing once again.
For even if I'm far away I hold you in my heart,
I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart...
I looked up at the screen with a weak smile, man, Disney is good with their lyrics.
Until you're in my arms again,
Remember me.