All The Hurt Would Go Away

Talk and take in the view...

The light shone into my eyes causing me to wake up and turn away in an effort to not get blinded.
"Good morning Jon."
My eyes adjusted to the light and I saw Andrew next to me still on his laptop.
"Morning Sir - Andrew."
He chuckled to himself, still concentrating on the laptop screen.
"What would you rather call me, pet?"
"Just Andrew, I'm getting used to it. But don't call me pet."
He didn't reply, just smiled to himself while working. For some reason the fact he wasn't looking at me was frustrating me more. Surely I don't want his attention?
"I'm no genius, but instead of getting all huffy, care to make breakfast? That's what pretty boys should do."
"It doesn't make sense."
"What doesn't?"
"You call me 'pet' then you belittle me, you can't just choose one or the other?"
"Ah but that ruins the game. And you are too naïve, that doesn't make sense either."
"What do you mean?"
He finally turned his head to look at me, the bags evident beneath his eyes. If anything it made him look more creepy, it darkened his eyes a lot more. I concentrated on his overall expression which was currently illustrating mock sympathy.
"Dearest Jon, you've forgotten every pet has an owner. Wouldn't want to go stray would you?"
"Fuck off."
"I asked you to make breakfast. Make breakfast or else you'll go back to calling me Sir. You get to pick what we do today, I may be treating you but that does not mean you can be a brat."
I got up silently and left, hearing the keys clicking on Andrew's laptop. There was no need for him to be so bitter - I will swear as long as I need to until he realises I am not his pet. I do not belong to him. This is temporary. He cannot claim he owns me or even compare our relationship to an owner and pet. People love pets. I hope he doesn't love me because I don't - I can't love him. After a while I just decided on some toast, making sure to give myself tap water just to redeem myself hopefully. I still haven't even planned what we're doing today but this could be my chance to see Lin, if I can remember his schedule we might be able to meet at the park. But Andrew is a psycho and he's probably already worked out that I would try.
"Andrew it's breakfast!"
I sat down at the table and waited to eat, whether he is pissing me off or not I might as well try to clear my name. I need as much freedom as I can get.
"You calmed down yet? Or should I eat in the corridor?"
I turned to Andrew who wore a bemused grin on his face and was standing in the doorway fully dressed.
"I'm fine, sit at the table."
"Alright then I guess..."
He trailed off in confusion, it's ironic he's even capable of being confused when he behaves the way he does.
"What's wrong?"
"You told me to sit down, I'm just wondering what led you to believe you could give orders?"
"Sorry Andrew."
"That's more like it. One more thing, I've never actually told you to wait for me before you eat your meal. Why do you still feel the need to?"
"It's just table manners."
And it throws you off every single time.
"Oh, uh, well keep doing it. I don't want us to ever eat our meals separately."
Yep, thrown off again.
"Okay, are you finished?"
"Yes."
I picked up our plates and put them in the dishwasher.
"I don't know what's happened to you Jon, yesterday and the night before you've been mostly well behaved, a couple disagreements sure but not that bad."
"Have I changed?"
"Yes, you're more resistant. Like yesterday but it's weirder now, it's like you've got stronger."
Well how am I supposed to respond to that? If I agree I'll get in trouble if I disagree he'll argue his point and we'll just fight again.
"Tell you what I'll leave it for now, it might just be a weird phase that'll go. Because of your behaviour this morning and harsh language I've reduced your choice to three things we can do today. Don't worry they're still fun, you just have a smaller range of options."
"Well, what are they?"
"We can go to the cinema, go hiking, or go to the beach."
Both the cinema and the beach are more intimate than hiking and besides, Andrew isn't good at sports so I'll have an advantage.
"Hiking."
"Great, I found a 3 hour one - it's an hour drive to get there but that'll be fine for me."
"Sounds good"
"Go get ready."
I went up to Andrew's bedroom deciding on a shirt and jeans for today since a suit just wouldn't work out. After quickly brushing my teeth and having a good stretch I went back downstairs where Andrew was waiting with car keys in hand.
"Think you can handle a hike Jon?"
"You're the unfit one, I'll have no problem."
He scowled and left through the door, me following behind him. It wasn't a lie so technically I shouldn't have an issue with saying it but this is Andrew, issues follow Andrew wherever he is. Scratch that. Andrew simply is an issue.
"You've got an hour in the car with me, either behave or I'll turn into the Andrew you fear."
Putting my seatbelt on I scoffed at his attempt to be intimidating.
"I'm not scared of you."
"Keep telling yourself that."
I rolled my eyes turning to watch the scenery go by through the window because there is no way in hell I'd waste breath talking to Andrew.
"So it's the silent treatment huh?"
"I'd rather sit in silence than talk to you that's all."
He didn't seem fazed by my comment immediately since he was concentrating on the road. Once again it strangely irritated me, as if back to my childish ways I wanted a reaction just to argue more.
"Wow. You better tone it down hotshot otherwise you'll get in trouble."
I stayed silent hinting I was done with talking to him. He is right though with me having changed, I think I'm just fed up with being around him now hence why I'm just looking for a fight whenever possible.
"Maybe you'll realise at some point that pretending to be powerful and careless will only get you so far. You're still mine for three more days after this and you are innocent of the knowledge those three days will hold."
I turned my head from looking out the window to now looking at Andrew who was staring at the road.
"And now I have your attention I purposefully drove into lots of traffic so let's talk about your behaviour."
My eyes darted to look through the front window and I could see the queue of cars along the hills, groaning in annoyance I turned to look at Andrew who chuckled at my expense.
"Unless it's some weird Aries star sign configuration which changed your mood I'm pretty sure there isn't an excuse for you being a bitch today."
"You know my star sign?"
"Well it's in hand with your birthday so it shouldn't surprise you much. You're going off topic anyway. Tell me what's causing you to act up so much."
"Why do you care?"
"Because I don't want to punish you if it's for some medical reason."
"And how would it be medical?"
"You could be developing bipolar disorder for all I know, and besides I've done enough damage on your mental health anyway."
"It's when you say stuff like that."
"Hmm?"
"You just joke about how much you've harmed me like some psycho douche."
"Psycho douche, I like it. That's the best thing I've been called in a while."
"Are you trying to piss me off just so you can use it against me?"
"Depends if you're letting it get to you. I mean, so long as you can remember what we're talking about."
"We've swapped roles."
"No we haven't, and we never will."
"I've been criticised for being a bitch but I guess you've taken over for me."
"Would you like to walk Jonathan?"
"Wow that really annoys you doesn't it? When I actually stand up for myself it throws you off guard. Isn't that right Andrew?"
"You have no fucking idea Jon, no fucking clue what you are pushing yourself into."
"It seems that's what I do best, go on then, show me what shit I'm going to face now. I can't fucking wait for this."
I rolled my eyes looking at the cars in front, he is stupid to think I'm scared of him. I've surpassed that, power doesn't last long especially if it's in the wrong hands. Due to the growing silence I quickly turned my head to where Andrew was, as if to prompt him to try and speak more bullshit. I was instead met with Andrew's fist colliding straight into my nose, hard.
"What the fuck?!"
I exclaimed, my hands reaching for my nose, thank god there was no blood but due to human nature, my eyes had teared up quickly and I could barely see without wiping my eyes every 5 seconds.
"Don't push me Jonathan."
"No reason to fucking punch me!"
"Would you have preferred a slap?"
"You weren't even looking at me!"
"I've got good peripheral vision. Just because I may not be an athlete does not mean I'm not strong. Oh and you look cute when you cry, it's been a while since I've seen that happen."
"You're an asshole that's for certain."
"And you're a bitch. Now we know our roles never muck them up again and never challenge me. If you work with me, I can get that bruise gone before you go back to Lin."
"It's gonna bruise?"
"Your memory is getting really bad, I just punched you. You've probably been punched before?"
"Not since high school. I didn't think people were still that immature."
"Oh wait till you watch the news then you'll be in for a surprise."
I rolled my eyes looking at the crawling traffic.
"Did you seriously get in this traffic on purpose?"
"Yes."
"And you don't regret it?"
"Not a bit."
"Why?"
"Cause you're less frustrating now."
"That's cause you punched me in the face!"
"That's cause you were being more of a bitch than usual."
"This traffic is gonna last us the whole day thanks to you."
"Not anymore."
Andrew took a sharp turn at a small private road I didn't even see, we drove across the hills as I admired the scenery.
"How did you know about this road?"
"I didn't. Now I do."
"So you have no idea where you're going."
"I'll figure it out."
"Great. I'm screwed."
"Oh you were screwed ever since you called me Sir during that prison visit."
"You know that's not what I meant."
He just smirked to himself and continued driving in silence, after about ten minutes we were back on a main road and Andrew appeared to have gathered where we were. He was less tense than when we were on that countryside road.
"Stop staring Jon."
"I wasn't staring."
He chuckled and with a pointed look he continued.
"Sure you weren't."
"I wasn't!"
"You were just admiring the view."
"Exactly!"
"So tell me again why you were staring at me?"
"I was admiring the - oh fuck off."
He started laughing as I turned to the window in a huff, I've never been that gullible. And let's just not talk about why I was looking at Andrew. I was now just feeling a dull ache from my nose and it wasn't that fun at all.
"Oh come on it was just a joke!"
"It wasn't that funny."
"Kinda was. Anyway we're here."
"What?"
I looked out the window to see a wooden lodge with a bright green rug on the decking.
"Ready?"
"Do I still have to do this?"
"You chose Jon."
"Yeah but I -"
I was cut off my Andrew poking me hard in the nose, which was still tender after being hit so tears sprung to my eyes once again and I grimaced in pain.
"Ah, silence. That's more like it. You stay quiet while I get the map."
"Prick."
"Hush now pet. Stay while I sort everything out."
"I'm not your fucking pet."
"Feel free to keep telling yourself that but it's not impacting anything at all apart from your self esteem."
Before I could argue back he closed the car door leaving me in the car. I quickly pulled down the sun visor and used the mirror inside to see the damage. My nose was slightly pink and my eyes were all puffy from the shock impact - maybe it was my fault that I got punched. Andrew has used physical violence before when he's mad but I just irritated him nonetheless and got shocked when I got hit. It was kinda stupid of me and now the fate of the next three days will no longer be as good.
"Stop daydreaming I've got the map so let's go."
He seemed majorly pissed off again, perhaps he was just thinking back to the punch as I was? He was holding my car door open as I looked at him quizzically.
"I wasn't daydreaming."
"Right. Get out the car."
I got out of the car in silence and he shut the door then locked the vehicle before coming back to my side.
"You're quiet now, had some self reflection?"
"What's it to you?"
He laughed in surprise at my confession, which I didn't even realise was a confession until after saying it.
"Wow I think I knocked some sense into you. I didn't think it was even possible to get you out of your little bubble."
"Bubble?"
"Yeah the 'I'm so innocent and 99% of the world is all sunshine and rainbows so Andrew must be pure evil and he surely couldn't do anything worse to me because that's impossible. I'm naïve as fuck and I act dumb because it makes people want to take care of me like I'm a fucking child'. That bubble."
"Jesus Christ."
"Had a little enlightenment?"
I walked faster so that I wouldn't have Andrew so close all the time. Especially when he's the way he is. Regardless of my efforts, Andrew just caught up with me laughing as he did.
"Jon we're in the middle of nowhere. If you wanted to avoid me you should've picked the beach. At least then you can talk to other people. And if you wanted me to be silent completely you should've picked the cinema. It is pretty simple."
"You thought this out didn't you?"
"Okay, what do you think I worked out? It's usually less than I actually did so please continue."
"You knew I'd pick hiking."
"Well done, gold star for Jonathan Groff. What helped you figure it out?"
"I don't know myself, I just realised it and somehow it makes perfect sense."
"I'll tell you then. I know for a fact you don't want anything intimate with me during your stay. That's not hard to tell. So I knew straight away cinema would not be chosen. Then for the beach it was a plain guess, couples are more intimate hanging around on the beach than hiking. I knew you'd pick hiking because you still believe I'm bad at sports."
"Well you are."
"You realise after the race you were struggling for breath while I was perfectly fine?"
My face changed as I remembered what he was talking about.
"You don't realise but I planned the whole structure of our week before it even started. I did have time to myself inbetween getting released. It's cute though cause every time I asked you a question, you actually believed you had a say. I've predicted your answer to every question I've asked you so far. And it's been right each time. I know you far more than you think Jonathan, perhaps more than you know yourself."
I began to get dizzy as my head hurt again, it's been a while since the pain subsided and I'd forgotten about it. That's probably why it hurts so much more now, because I had a break from it.
"What's wrong with your head?"
"Nothing."
"What's wrong with your head Jon?"
"I said nothing."
"Tell me what's going on."
"I-I'm fine."
"Well you're not. And I can't help you if I don't know."
"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."
Andrew suddenly stopped and turned to look at me
"This isn't the same head thing that you had back when you visited me?"
I stayed silent
"And you haven't sorted it out yet? Wow. Especially since you were with Lin I'm surprised you didn't tell him."
"I did and we went to hospital."
"So why is it still bothering you?"
"I just haven't taken my medication in a while."
He started walking again so I joined him
"Define a while."
"A couple -"
"- A couple days shouldn't be that bad."
"It's been a couple weeks."
"Well you're a dumb fucking bitch aren't ya?"
"I'm sorry?"
"You should be. Why the heck are you not taking your medication? When was the last time you had some?"
I thought back to when I had the medication, I left it at Lin's and that's when I started to not take it. That was weeks ago though.
"It was the day before Ariella went missing."
"I'm calling Lin."
"What? You said I could choose when to call him!"
"You're not talking to him. I am. So keep your pretty mouth shut."
I glared at him as he got out his phone.
"I went on a walk and you're still at home, if I hear a peep out of you then you will regret it. I am gonna put Lin on speaker cause hopefully his voice will soothe your head."
"Since when do you care about my health?"
"When my ownership of you could be cut short because you need to go to hospital. I'll punch and slap you as much as I want. I know my strength. But since you keep refusing to tell me about your head, here we are."
I sighed continuing to walk hearing the call tone and Lin eventually picking up.
"Hello Lin."
"Is Jon okay?"
"Mostly, I'm out on a walk right now while Jon's having a nap. What's wrong with his head?"
I quickly turned my head to glare at Andrew's smug face. He knew Lin would tell him.
"Why? Is his head hurting?"
"Oh please his head was hurting when he visited me in prison. You clearly must know what's up and he's starting to worry me. Where is his medication?"
"In the kitchen at my house. Why?"
"Last time he had it was the day before your daughter went missing."
"How the fuck would you know that?"
"He told me. I forced it out of him."
"You wouldn't."
I could tell Lin was seething on the other end of the phone. I really wanted to tell him that Andrew's making this sound worse than it is.
"I would and I did. I've got a little task for you. Can you get the medication and put it through the letterbox at my front door? Although it's fun to make his head hurt more, it's stopping me from harming him since he's always in pain."
"I would never assist you in causing Jon pain."
"Ah but this is a slap to the face or a hospital visit for his poor little head. What would you prefer?"
"Fuck you."
"Ah, failing at parenthood again. Just do as I asked please, and be quick."
He ended the call and I scowled at Andrew, he rolled his eyes and in a low voice he muttered
"What?"
"Why would you scare Lin like that? He's done nothing to deserve it. Don't you think he's gone through enough?"
"No."
His blunt reply threw me off guard, what else has he got planned?
"Oh please, you killed his fiancé and you raped his friend. What else are you planning?"
"Jon, look at yourself. You've got hickeys on your neck, a bruising nose, probably a bruised back from when I pushed you. Not to mention that I've slapped you and choked you."
"And?"
"This is only your second day. Surely that means something about the way you've behaved. And surely it would be a notice to stop acting like that?"
"I'm sorry that I can't just bow down before you and claim you own me. Sorry that I actually believe I have rights as a person and will not succumb to pressure as I once did. Sorry that I'm no longer scared of you."
"You know that's not true."
"What?"
"You know you are indeed scared of me, all the other stuff makes sense. Why do you keep claiming you don't fear me?"
"Cause I don't?"
"Fine. Have it your way. All I'm saying is if I got this close, and started speaking in a lower voice, then held you in place..."
I began to hold my breath as Andrew was only inches away from me and was gripping my arms tight enough to bruise them. Once again I didn't know whether I should look at him or away from him, but to look at him I'd physically have to tilt my head back a bit.
"Oh and what if I pulled your hair? Then if I got closer and looked directly into your eyes..."
The only thing stopping our lips touching was his hand painfully tugging at my hair, I looked back at Andrew and saw the lust in his eyes. He leaned in so he was even closer and whispered:
"Now say you're not scared of me."
"I-I'm not sc-scare-scared of y-ou."
"Uh huh and what's my name bitch?"
"A-Andrewww."
I grimaced as he tugged my hair more causing me to squeeze my eyes shut in pain.
"Now beg for me to let you go. Call me Sir."
He dug his fingernails into my arm with his other hand and tears sprung to my eyes.
"S-Sir please let-let me go. I'm begging you. I am scared of you a-and I'm sorry for saying I wasn't."
"How scared are you right now?"
Just before I could speak he tugged my hair harder and I groaned in pain, he's gonna rip my hair out at any point. His eyes were darkening the longer he was close to me, and causing me pain.
"I-I'm very scared just d-don't hurt me?"
He then stayed silent, just looking down at me while I tried not to flinch. He hadn't stopped pulling my hair, or reduced it in any way. Nor had he stopped digging his nails into my arms which were still tender from the cuts.
"p-please stop"
I whispered and to my surprise he did, he let go of me and took a step back - smirking to himself all the same.
"And finally I was able to get some sense into your damaged head."
I remained silent, rubbing my arms where his nails dug into my skin. He took note of this and grabbed them again.
"How are your arms these days?"
"A-Andrew don't."
His fingers were pushing on the wounds as he held my arms up, I knew it was on purpose but it doesn't stop me from trying to get him not to do it. He pushed the sleeves up my arms so the wounds were exposed and just stared at them.
"Wow."
All you could see now were just thick red lines signifying the thinnest layer of skin over it, at least the scabs were gone. It wasn't pretty though.
"Happy now?"
"Are they going to scar?"
"It's a 50% chance. Not like you care anyway. Let's just get the hike over and done with."
"Jon you need to know I never intended to -"
"- Save it. You've pointed out your damage, in public, and embarrassed me too. What else do you want?"
I sighed and looked at him with a tired expression. He looks different now he's seen my arms, more sympathetic and sad.
"I didn't know they could scar. That's all."
"Well now you do, let's go."
"No I just -"
"- What."
"I care about you okay?"
I had to let out a laugh at that.
"Sure you do. That's why you raped me isn't it? Because you care about me."
"Lin is dropping off your medication."
"And?"
"I wasn't aware. I thought your arms had healed. I apologise for hurting your arms earlier."
"Not pulling my hair?"
"No."
"I think I finally understand it."
"Understand what?"
"You don't want to harm me where I'm already injured. You want to add to the pain not enhance it."
"So?"
"You're a sick fuck."
"How's your head?"
"Fine why?"
"I'm guessing you want to keep it that way so shut your mouth."
I rolled my eyes pulling my sleeves back down and walking quickly again, Andrew caught up but at least we're closer to finishing this stupid hike. At least he was quieter now, thinking more - I was hoping he would change his mind about what he would do to me in the next three days, but that's miracle work. It's certainly thrown him off though, he's more spaced out and sad but that's not something I need to care about at all, I'd rather stay acknowledging the pleasant change from his usual behaviour.
"Do you seriously only regret hurting my arms just now?"
"Yes why?"
"Not pulling my hair, slapping me, shoving me or punching me?"
"No you deserved it each time."
"Right. But you pulled my hair while injuring my arms further."
"Yes, I didn't know the state of your arms until afterwards. I could only apologise. If you are already injured in any way you must tell me. I don't want to cause more damage to those places."
"So if I hurt my entire left side you'd hurt my right side so I couldn't sleep well at night?"
"Yes, basically."
"I can't get my head around why I ever dated you."
"Neither can I, but if you stop getting so uncomfortable and self conscious around me maybe you'll have a shot at moving on."
"I don't love you."
"I would prove it but I've already shown you're scared of me and that's enough for one day. Speaking of, what the heck convinced you that you weren't frightened of me?"
I looked at him blankly
"I mean, you've had nightmares from my laugh let alone my physical self. You always get all shy around me and whenever I ask you something personal you stutter like a broken record."
"Thanks for that."
"No problem. You still haven't answered my question."
"I don't know. I simply thought I wasn't. End of."
"Jon you're being dismissive again."
"You've already punched me in the face, where are you planning to punch me now?"
"See my point?"
"Well it's because of you so..."
"I don't want to have to spend our time together hurting you but when you behave like this I really don't have a choice."
I took a deep breath, it really wasn't worth getting hit again so I should really drop it.
"You're right, I'm sorry Sir."
"You don't need to call me Sir."
"Well I'm sorry Andrew."
"I forgive you. According to this map we're halfway as well so that's two sets of good news."
I laughed
"And also now I know you trust me so that -"
"- How do you know I trust you?"
"You haven't looked at the map once, you've just gone wherever I led. You haven't taken the opportunity to run away, and you just gave it away in your reply."
"I'm not supposed to trust you."
"No you're not. But here we are and that's that."
"Why do I trust you?"
"No fucking clue."
"It's just you've hurt me so much, I should trust you the least. I should be running away right now. But I'm not."
He laughed then looked me up and down.
"No, it seems you are not."
"And why are you being so nice to me now?"
"Huh?"
"Well I haven't been the most cooperative person, and you haven't well, you know."
"I've punished you if that's what you mean, countless times."
"No, when we spoke in prison you said you wanted me. And repeatedly you've said how I'd pay for my mistakes during the night. Each night you've just let me sleep."
"My mood changes through the day, you of all people should know that."
"Well yes but -"
"- That's all. Gimme a hand on this hill it's the steepest one."
I looked in front of me to see a hill close to being vertical. Slightly off thankfully.
"How are we supposed to climb that?"
"With less questions and more help."
I shut up and looked for any marks in the hill where others have stepped, it might be more beneficial to just copy an old route. However after careful observation I could tell there were no marks, or dents, or erosion anywhere.
"Are you sure this is the right hill?"
"Yes."
"It seems no one has ever been on this hill."
"It's March. What do you expect. People don't hike in the winter so this thing has just got rid of its snow."
"So we're the first this year?"
"Probably."
I looked back at the hill with the most pained expression I could muster causing Andrew to laugh.
"Come on it's not that bad! I'll lead you, follow my footsteps."
I did as he said until about midway up when he started to take a harder route and my foot slipped. I made some sort of noise of surprise and squinted my eyes shut preparing to fall, opening them when I realised I hadn't dropped at all.
"Be careful okay?"
I smiled up at Andrew who had grabbed my hand and held me up, he has gotten stronger.
"Yeah, sorry."
His eyes lingered on me for a while more before turning back to the hill, it was more of a mountain to be honest. I never learnt the difference between the two, I just know you shouldn't be rock climbing on hills.
"Ah we aren't far from the top I can see it now."
I heard Andrew exclaim excitedly, my arm socket aches a bit from when Andrew stopped me from falling. I think it's just the sudden drop paired with my arm staying in place, I hope so.
"How's your head?"
"What?"
"Your head. Is it okay?"
"Yeah it's fine."
I could see his smile across his face at that, it was less of a happy smile but more a smile for only him. A smile in thought. Heaven knows what his thoughts are - no - Hell knows. Andrew reached the top of the hill and turned back to me, struggling once again with the climb.
"Couple more steps babe, you got this."
I was taking deep breaths as I looked up to glare at him.
"Don't call me babe."
"We can sort it out when you're at the top, for now concentrate on the hill babe."
"Don't tell me what to -"
My foot slipped once again and I facepalmed into the grass, clinging on with my hands so I wouldn't fall down the hill.
"- I believe you just proved yourself wrong. Do you need my help?"
"No."
"Alright then."
He disappeared from view and no longer stood at the edge of the hill, I focused and tried to lift my leg up but my weight shifted and quickly worked out I couldn't move unless I wanted to fall and die.
"Andrew?"
"What now?"
"I can't move."
He laughed re-emerging at the edge of the hill and looked down at me amusedly.
"You really mucked this up didn't you?"
"Are you gonna help or just laugh at me?"
"I'm actually not sure this time."
I let out a yelp as I skidded down the hill a fraction of a centimetre and tightened my grip on the surface of the ridge.
"No need to be so dramatic about it you're not going to die."
"Andrew please!"
He hummed to himself then spoke lowly
"Beg."
"Are you kidding me? Andrew I don't know if I can even breathe without falling let alone do an entire submission speech!"
"Well you just did a speech alright, so beg."
I readjusted my grip and looked up at Andrew.
"Please help me Sir, I can't get to the top by myself and I need you. I'm begging you."
"That'll do."
He gestured for me to grab his hand then once again pulled me up to the top of the hill with only one arm. Anyone would be impressed, but I'm scared as hell by it.
"You okay? Is your head hurting? Your arms?"
"No, I'm fine. You've got stronger."
"You've said that before."
"No, like much stronger, you just lifted my entire body weight with one arm."
"And that's why you're scared?"
I remained silent and he smirked
"Good. You should be. No more hills now it's just flat land. Ready?"
I fearfully nodded and he set off with me following once again.
"What did you mean just then?"
"None of your business."
"Well it is though isn't it?"
"Yes. But I'm not going to tell you, so drop it."
"You don't tell me a lot."
"That's true."
I stopped and turned to look at Andrew and he laughed looking back at me.
"How am I supposed to respond to your smartass comments then?"
"They're just questions."
"And no one has time for questions."
I made a point of looking around us at the empty field then back at him, if he were working or making a coffee I'd understand. We are literally in the middle of nowhere. In turn he gave me a warning look so I let it rest, it's clear I wasn't going to get any answers today. But that doesn't stop me from putting Andrew off guard.
"Why do you like it when I call you Sir?"
"Don't."
"I'm just interested cause most people go for Master or Daddy. I never realised there were more."
"And have you had sex with those types of people?"
"No, why?"
"Who are you to judge if you've only witnessed me wanting you to call me Sir?"
"Touché."
"Less than an hour of walking if we do this right, it's all in one direction too. Just this path to the end."
"Thank you."
"Huh?"
"For getting us through this walk. You had the map and you helped me get up that hill, I wasn't the best travel companion so thanks for tolerating me."
"I think that's the purest thing you've ever said to me Jon."
"Then please remember it cause I don't think it'll happen again"
I continued to walk on with Andrew slightly behind now after just listening to my speech of gratitude.
"If only you knew"
I heard exactly what Andrew said but pretended to drop it. Mainly because I knew he wouldn't explain and I didn't understand what he meant.
"I'm starting to hear cars again!"
"Ah, industrialisation, how you must've missed it."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
He laughed rolling his eyes and kept walking.
"Oi! I'm talking to you!"
"And I have a name."
"Okay. Andrew, what the hell was that supposed to mean?"
"You're American. Americans love industry."
"You're American!"
"No, I'm from Omaha, Nebraska."
"That's in America"
"It's a different world."
"Mhmm. You and that place. It's like an addiction."
"Lin wrote an entire musical on where he lived"
"Don't make it out like that. He loves his hometown."
"So do I."
"Drop it"
"Ha. You stole my phrase."
"You were being annoying."
"So now you know what I have to put up with."
I remained silent, enjoying the view of the countryside. I didn't know there would be much countryside in New York with all the skyscrapers and big lights, it's a nice change. I can't stop the feeling somethings wrong though, Andrew is different everyday. I can tell he's trying to be nice, but elements of himself are showing through - it's like we're leading up to something and I've already predicted the last night won't be the same as the others. But with his changing attitudes I never know whether it will be a dinner or, well, what he did before. The main thing I've got to do is take what I can get, I mean, I'm getting some exercise now. I probably wouldn't go on a hike if I was relaxing at Lin's place. No I definitely wouldn't.
"Stop thinking Jon"
"Sorry."
"I'm pretty sure you're slowly becoming more vocal each day. I remember the first night was almost silent. At least you're saying more, still not enough worryingly."
"You shouldn't worry about me, I'm good."
I let out a quiet chuckle to try and prove my point and he just smiled to himself.
"That's true, I'm the last person who needs to worry."
Curse his double meanings. Does he mean that he's not family or a friend so my quietness isn't his problem? Or does he mean my family and friends need to worry for what will happen to me? Or am I overthinking it. He hates it when I think. Stop thinking Jon.
"How long have we got?"
"About 20 minutes of walking then we'll be back."
"Any shortcuts?"
"Are you sick of me already?"
"No, I'm just -"
"Awww your legs are tired aren't they?"
"I'm surprised yours aren't, we've been walking for ages."
"Funny you'd assume I wouldn't improve my fitness while I was at prison."
"So that's why you're so -?"
"Yeah. Any more questions?"
"Don't you miss the life you lived before you did what you did? Like you had a career and everything."
"Yeah, but I didn't know you."
"You would've met me anyway since we were both in the theatre industry."
"I guess, I regret what I did to Stacy, but not you."
"Of course you don't."
"Well the whole PTSD thing went a bit overboard since I didn't know you'd be so affected. That kinda made me feel bad."
"The whole PTSD thing? I had flashbacks, I self harmed, I was hospitalised repeatedly, and I've still got the ache in my head now! It's not just a thing Andrew. It won't go away and it's not even my fault! You should be paying the medicine bills, not me and Lin."
"You haven't told your mother?"
"About the PTSD? She knows I had surgery and all that. She doesn't know about this, I wanted to keep her out of it. Especially with my fathers unwanted appearance."
"He was just trying to reach out."
"Yeah and he managed that."
Andrew picked up on my sarcasm and left the conversation. As I was looking at him, a building began to come into view and I watched the grin appear on Andrew's face.
"We did it Jon! We're back!"
I laughed in surprise and he looked at me with a childish glint in his eye.
"Wanna actually race? I won't go easy on you this time."
"It's on."
We both sprinted to the wooden lodge and I quickly realised Andrew's sudden change in speed as he overtook me with ease. I stood no chance of overtaking him a couple seconds into our race. Andrew reached the lodge with a proud smile looking back at me with a mocking grin.
"Come on slow coach!"
"I didn't know you were that fast!"
"Tada bitch. Now hurry up!"
I quickly rushed to the lodge and joined Andrew, who was handing in the map we were given. He turned back to me and gestured for me to go through the exit as he held open the door, being the gentleman he is. I obliged and a couple minutes later we were back in the car.
"Ready for an hour on the road?"
"Let's go"