All The Hurt Would Go Away

Thoughts that I can't put to rest...

On the way home my nose began to sting more, probably because I had nothing to focus on, but of course Andrew noticed I was in pain.
"Is your head okay?"
"It's not my head."
"Arms?"
"They hurt to touch but it's alright."
"I can't apologise for punching you. I hope you realise that."
"I know, I just wish you didn't cause it hurts like hell."
"See if I slapped you it would've been temporary, this was the better option."
"Sure."
"Well, now every time it hurts, you remember how you got it. Are you sure your arms are okay?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Well I mean, when I saw them..."
"- I know it looks bad. No need to be discreet. So if you can, please stop asking about them."
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
Andrew turned on the radio to fill the silence and, obediently, I listened watching the buildings go past.
"Do you know anything else that changed while you were in prison?"
"The first time?"
"Yeah."
"Well there's the washing up, an obvious decrease in confidence, you're quieter and more curious. Uh, what else..."
"They're all obvious though, is there anything only you would notice?"
"Hmm, I don't know how to describe it. It's like some sort of barrier voice is in your head, there are times when you can be having so much fun, but then like a flip of a switch you go silent again."
"Is this the thinking thing?"
"I guess, when there's little to no conversation it makes sense. But sometimes you just clock out midway through talking to me in the worse scenarios."
"I've done that?"
"Yeah when I took you to dinner, it's like you lose control of your body. Kind of like the flashbacks I guess, but it's more like a trance now."
I nodded thoughtfully looking back out the window.
"Sorry for my behaviour this morning."
"It's okay."
"I just don't want it to affect the next three days that's all."
"It won't. You've apologised repeatedly."
He chuckled to himself and I smiled, at least that lessens my fear of what is going to happen to me.
"Do you really intend to destroy me as you said?"
"Not really. At first, yes. But now we've hung out more it's clear you haven't changed as much as I thought you had. You're still the same old Jon I met three years ago."
"I can't say the same for you."
"You've got a point so I'll let it slide."
"So, are we just gonna chill for the rest of our days together? Or are you actually gonna -?"
"Rape you? I don't think so anymore. I can tell you still haven't fully healed and I said I don't want to enhance pain, I wanna add to it. Which, judging by your swollen nose, is working well."
"It's swollen?"
"Yeah, it's gone purple."
He sniggered and I pulled down the sun visor yet to see he was correct.
"You've got to get rid of this quick."
"I will. If you cooperate with me that is."
"I will, I can't let Lin see this."
"Why not? I'll be in trouble not you."
"He'll put me under house arrest till he knows you are either out of the country or in jail."
"Ah. So he's still that kind of guy."
"Yep."
The traffic was much faster now meaning we got home in roughly 45 minutes, as soon as we entered the house I walked straight to the couch and collapsed onto it.
"Jon you've been sat down in the car for ages!"
"Yeah, and my feet hurt, and my legs ache, altogether I don't want to walk."
He chuckled then looked at the time.
"It's almost lunch, what do you want then?"
"You're making it?"
"Well that's what I was planning to do..."
"Surprise me then."
He seemed to think about it, then nodded with a smile before hastily leaving the room. Since he's trying to show off it should be a nice meal anyway. It was starting to hurt to smile because of my sore nose - he could've punched me somewhere else; it wouldn't have been so bothersome then, but I guess that was Andrew's intention. I rested my head against the arm rest on the couch, now lying across I began to have a nap.
"Jon?"
"Hey Jon it's lunchtime now you need to get up"
"Jon?"
I felt a nudging sensation on my shoulder and peeped an eye open to see Andrew smiling at me.
"Good morning sunshine"
I quickly sat upright and grimaced at the sudden pain I felt thanks to Andrew's punch. Regardless I felt the couch to see if it was soaked from any water then felt my hair, with a confused expression I looked back at Andrew.
"I didn't feel like surprising you with water today, you've had a rough time as it is."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm good, why?"
"You're being too nice, it's weird."
"Would you prefer me to be mean?"
"No, I like nice, nice is good."
He laughed then gestured to the table behind me, I turned to see plain sandwiches on his side of the table and on mine...