All The Hurt Would Go Away

You can't fall apart...

The front door clicked open and I immediately spoke
"Where's my phone?"
"Isn't it on the table?"
"No"
"Oh! It's here in the kitchen I must have left it!"
I looked there. I looked everywhere in the house.
"Sorry I guess I forgot that room, memory and all"
He smiled sympathetically and began to dish up the takeaway for us to eat.
"I just got fish and chips nothing fancy yet."
I nodded and began to eat, I could see him watching me in my peripheral vision but decided to leave it until it becomes overbearing.
"Nice?"
I hummed in approval
"There's salt, pepper, vinegar, tomato sauce it's all here if you need it."
I unwillingly reached for the sauce as Andrew passed it to me.
"Do you trust me Jon?"
"I... don't know..."
"Well, what's stopping us?"
"Just the situation I guess. I don't know who's telling the truth anymore and Lin won't even contact me now because I'm with you I assume and I'm scared you'll be the guy Lin says and leave me while Lin has already left so I'll be alone."
"I'd never leave you Jon."
He wiped a tear from my cheek smiling painfully. I feel like I'll never be able to truly make someone understand how I feel unless they experience it and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Finishing the meal I set my knife and fork down then stood to collect up the dirty washing as always. My balance however was lost as I fumbled to get my vision straight holding the table for support.
"I can do it Jon, sit down"
"N-No I always do it."
Andrew gave in helping me walk to the kitchen, something was wrong and I knew it. My coordination had never faltered before or after I left hospital that badly so why now? A wave of nausea overtook me as I dropped the plates to the ground hearing them smash.  Is it a side effect? Why now? I retched and retched until my throat was sore but no vomit came out, my stomach ached as I had tears in my eyes. What had I done to deserve this?
"Jon are you okay - what the fuck?!"
He immediately started picking up the pieces of the plates I'd smashed then attempted to get me to relax.
"Deep breaths"
"Something's wrong."
"Jon, it's just a panic attack you'll be fine."
"It's all wrong, you don't understand"
"Help me then."
"I need to rest, I need to think about this."
"Promise to talk in the morning?"
I nodded, Andy looked nervous, as if he'd seen a ghost and I couldn't understand why. Step by step I reached the top of the staircase and simply got into bed, too exhausted to bother. I reached for my phone and searched my name up on google, interested to see what came up. I almost dropped my phone seeing how famous I was. I could see all the characters I'd played and all the people I'd met. Videos of me before whatever happened. I found a video of me and Lin with 'Hello' by Adele in the background, chuckling at the lip sync and there were numerous videos of me in musicals and interviews. Melchior and Gordon, the fishes obviously were linked to my characters which slightly freaked me out but I guess it was cute. An ad for an article popped up about how I 'disappeared off the internet' and I clicked on it immediately since it could say what happened to me.
"Hey Jon?"
I turned around not bothering to hide my research.
"Yeah?"
"I usually turn the power off each night just to save money so it's going off now."
I caught him eyeing my phone and sighed.
"Alright I'll finish up."
He closed the door as I quickly tried to scan read the article in desperation for any sort of clue.
Jonathan Groff has reportedly hidden from all cameras ... he was raped by another famous Broadway actor ... now his ex ... by the name of Andrew Rannells.
The power clicked off and I immediately went on my contacts to call Lin but his number had been blocked. I didn't block him so, it must've been... I could call a taxi but I need to sneak out first ultimately it was safer than staying here. I ended the call with the driver and slowly opened my bedroom door, since the power was off I had to use the torch on my phone. I smiled at Melchior and Gordon before clicking the front door shut and quickly stating Lin's address preparing for the half hour drive. It was now half past eleven at night and, if I were going to anyone else, I'd be concerned as to whether they were up. But since it was Lin, a fellow insomniac, it was clear he would be. In the time I had, I tried to think back to when Andy could've blocked Lin's number on my phone.
"I'll sort this out, don't worry."
It must've been when he talked to Lin, then a spark went off in my head. Did he even talk to Lin? Was it a one sided conversation? It did seem too good to be true. And now I know that Lin was telling the truth, Andrew must've been trying to hide it and trap me again. I was seething with hatred for Andrew as the car pulled to a stop outside Lin's house. I put some of Andrew's money on the seat and left frantically knocking on Lin's door.
"Jon?"
"I -"
"Holt shit I'm glad you're alive! Talk later I'm gonna put some tea on."
He let me in as I hesitantly took my shoes off.
"You don't hate me?"
"Well I thought about it a lot and, how could I? You have no idea what happened so you have every right to be frustrated with all the unanswered questions."
"Lin."
He turned to me smiling
"What?"
"I know what happened to me."
His smile faltered as it fell silent
"Did Andy tell you some bullshit? I promise you I'll tell the truth."
"I searched myself up on the internet. I damn well hope you'll tell the truth because I want to know about this."
Lin took a shaky breath and gestured to the couch.
"I'll tell you anything you want to know, just promise me you won't run away again."
I nodded sitting down beside him.