All The Hurt Would Go Away

How could I ever forget...

"I-I'm sorry, life hasn't been treating me well."
"I understand."
I squinted my eyes open and Lin immediately turned and walked out. Was he? Was he crying? I tried to get up to follow him out but the Doctor stopped me.
"Jon, glad you're awake. I've done some tests and everything worked, from now on everything you hear you'll remember as a usual person would."
"Thanks."
He nodded and walked out, I reached for my phone and texted Lin asking if he was still here because I wanted to find out everything. A while later he walked in and, visually looked depressed.
"Lin. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, just not looking forward to this part."
"I'll never ask again hopefully."
He nodded but I could tell something was still bothering him, I decided to drop it for another time.
"So, where does it all start? Give me the bad first then the good."
"Alright, I guess the good and bad is Stacy; I'll start with her."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath smiling to himself as if replaying it in his head. I could tell he was, he's just that expressive and open with how he's feeling it's enviable.
"Stacy, was the love of my life. I loved her so much in the time I knew her. We were engaged you see. She always had a smile on her face and was incredibly supportive of my writing unlike Vanessa my previous wife. Me and Stacy were unbreakable it seemed and everybody liked her wherever she went. She was a walking dream, fallen angel, sculpted to perfection and so so beautiful. I was speechless. Right from the start to the end."
He continued to explain what led to her death as I grew emotional from that alone.
"Why didn't I tell you about the shortcut?"
"I don't know, we agreed to drop it back then so you never told me."
I internally decided not to get too emotional since we may run out of time and I'll have to wait another night.
"Okay, what happened after?"
"I got really depressed and eventually overdosed on the day of her alleged funeral. You found me when you came back from buying the kids funeral clothes."
I couldn't imagine Lin being that upset, it's not who he is.
"However while you were there you met Andy."
I became alert hearing his name. This man is the key to what happened to me so I've been told.
"And?"
"You got his number because I guess he flirted or something and you liked him at the time. That was all for now. The ambulance wouldn't let you come with me since it was only family so you stayed at home looking after the kids and, bored I guess, you asked Andy to come over. Nothing happened there as far as I know."
I couldn't help but feel disappointed, I was getting impatient and hated the lack of information.
"Eventually you visited me in hospital with Andy and introduced us and he seemed like a good guy so I approved. It was blind to both of us. When, when I was released from hospital; I found out you slept with him the next day in the most awkward way. I got mad, you got mad. Then word vomit happened and you mentioned my relationship with Stacy against me. So, I, well, I slapped you."
He looked up nervously to see my reaction. I remained still, emotions come later.
"I was really sorry and still am. You went to live with Andy and severed all contact with me although I did keep trying. Then, one night, you came into my room having visibly been crying; and you told me he raped you."
"What?"
I asked quietly,
"He raped you Jon. No consent."
"What happened next?"
"I then took the role of looking after you and eventually you got better, until earlier this year when Andy was released from prison. You saw him and he confronted you wanting another chance, you have always been earnest and empathetic so you willingly gave him another shot. He took you on a date with, further intentions, and one intimate touch triggered a flashback then hospital trip."
"How did he?"
"It was possibly the only good thing he did. He called an ambulance and drove behind it to make sure you got treatment. I didn't know since we'd still lost all contact."
"Right."
"So you were in a coma, you woke up and had re visualised everything and also relived it yourself. He scratched your arms making deep cuts as you did to yourself and you could hardly speak. Andy saw this and left figuring out you didn't want to see him further. Between flashback lapses you said for the hospital to call me. You were diagnosed with PTSD, and each flashback you got, you couldn't help but harm yourself reliving it - this got to the point it was nearly suicidal. However Andy remained persistent and the last we saw of him was when he came round the house; I asked if you wanted a guest since I couldn't trust you to leave with your flashbacks. Of course you had only remembered what you'd been told and he fed you absolute bull, so, naturally, when asked for a guest you said Andy. I invited him reluctantly and he pissed me off so I went into the study, I had earphones on then so I have no idea how it happened but when I came back in he had gone and your cuts had been ripped open. And that all ends here."
He looked up at me and I looked back, emotionless.
"Thank you Lin, is it okay if I have time to reflect?"
"O-Of course."
He hurried out as I let the tears come, sob after sob heaved through my lungs until I had nothing left. Why did everything have to happen like it did? Why couldn't it just be normal? Without all the flukes and crimes and targeting. It was the one thing me and Lin entirely had in common. Luck with love. A nurse knocked on the door calling out 'lunch' so, as I always have, I acted. Acted as if I wasn't emotionally entangled in a downward spiral. I acted like I was okay.