Little Shepherd

Chapter Forty

I wake up to the sound of the door closing, Mark stepping inside and setting his things down on the counter.
"I'm sorry, go back to sleep." He says
"That's not going to happen." I sigh, sitting up.

"How are you feeling?" Mark questions , walking towards me.
"Well apparently I fell asleep, so things aren't too bad." I shrug
"Do you need anything?" He asks, sitting down next to me.
"Um, no thanks." I tell him, leaning my head on his shoulder.
"I'm surprised you actually decided to stay here." Mark chuckles

"Your place is quiet and doesn't have several people living in it." I reply
"Oh, so it has nothing to do with your sexy boyfriend caring for you?" He smirks, looking at me.
"You're so cocky." I laugh slightly, rolling my eyes playfully.
"You like it." Mark smiles, kissing me softly.
"But that may be a one of the reasons." I tell him
"I knew it." He chuckles

"So how was work?" I question
"Do you really want to know?" He questions, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, yeah. Otherwise I would not have asked. I am bedridden for atleast almost a month so let me live vicariously through you." I say
"It was okay, mostly everyone made it out good." Mark replies
"How are Meredith and Callie? Did you get to see them?" I ask
"They're doing good, no post op complications or anything." He informs  me
"Thank god." I mumble
"How many people died?" I question
"Mariah." Mark sighs
"Just tell me, Mark." I demand
"17." He mutters
"Oh." I tut

"I knew telling you was just going to hurt you." He tells me
"I'm not hurt, just surprised." I say
"Surprised? Why?" Mark inquires
"I'm surprised that many people died." I reply
"We were short 3 doctors, Mariah. You being one of them, it was difficult." He mutters

"Oh, so it's my fault I was in a bombing?" I chuckle, madly.
"Mariah, you know that is not what I am saying." Mark sighs
"It sure sounds like it." I tut
"Look, I'm not blaming you for anything. You had traumatic experience and you're not at fault." He mumbles
"I feel like I could've done more though. Maybe if I wasn't so focused on Callie and Meredith, less people would've died." I sigh, looking at the floor.

"Don't you dare do that. There wasn't much you could've done without the proper equipment. A lot of people were hemorrhaging and you couldn't have done anything." He reassures me
"You don't get it. You weren't there. There were a lot of people that needed help and I didn't even tend to them." I stammer
"It's fucking with me too, I can still hear their screaming of pain in my head." I tell him

"Hey, come here." Mark says, opening his arms to hold me.
I don't move, so he ends up grabbing me and holding me, my back facing him.
"You'll overcome this, Mariah.  I know you will, you're strong." He whispers, and kisses my shoulder.
"I don't deserve you. You're being so nice and supportive." I sigh
"That's what I'm here for." He says

"So, what are you going to tell Derek?" Mark questions
"Tell him about what?" I ask
"You staying here." He replies
"Oh, I'm going to tell him I'm temporarily living with Alex." I shrug
"Mm, I'm just happy I get you to myself for a while." Mark smiles
"You see me everyday." I laugh
"I can't get enough of you." He mumbles, playing with my hair.
"I can tell." I joke

"Can you really blame me though?" Mark inquires
"I mean no, I am quite amazing." I chuckle, laying back to look him in the eyes.

"I'm just happy to have you in my life again." He tells me, buring his head in my shoulder.
"I feel the same way." I nod
"A lot of thing happened in New York, but I'm happy I moved past it and came to Seattle." I sigh

"Have you talked to your mom?" Mark asks
"Why would I? She's not an good mother to me." I scoff
"She's still your mother, Mariah." He sighs

"And? You don't even know the half of it." I huff
"Of course you like her, you're oblivious to what she did to me." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Is it the car accident thing? I think you can forgive her for that." Mark tells me
"No, that's not why. Although it did provide an excuse to move." I shrug

"Then what happened?" He questions
"I don't want to talk about my mother and what happened right now. I'd rather shoot myself." I groan
"That bad?" Mark inquires
"Pretty much." I mutter

"Okay, no more talk about mothers or bombings. Let's just watch a movie, it'll help take your mind off of everything." He says, getting up to grab the remote. He sits back down, turns on the T.V. and puts on Netflix.

I lay my head on Mark's shoulder and he scrolls through the movies. "How about this one?" Mark questions
"I'm good on the sci-fi." I remark
"I thought so." He comments
"This one?" Mark asks
"Sure." I tut

Mark pushes play and sinks into the couch, his arm around me. "I'm really happy you decided to stay here." He tells me
"Me too." I nod

Both our eyes focus on the screen as we continue to watch the movie.

-.-
Screams are coming from all around me, everything in complete chaos.

"Help! Help me please!" A person yells
"I don't want to die!" A woman whimpers
I frantically scramble in attempt to help the people in need. But as I approach them, they end up dying. More screams fill the air and I desperately try to aid everybody but fail.

Blood, everywhere. Even some limbs left behind from the dead. I look at the horror in front of me and feel overwhelemed. "Mariah! Mariah!" I hear someone yell
"No, no no." I mutter
"Mariah!" Someone exclaims,  shaking me.

I wake up to a concerned Mark, "You're having a nightmare." He says
I don't say anything, just wrap me arms around him scared. "I can't forget." I whimper
"You will, baby. You will." Mark whispers in my ear, holding me tight to him

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Guess who's back after over a month of being inactive? I'm so so sorry! I've been working on a lot of the future chapters and even have been contemplating another book! I've been super busy and I hope y'all can understand! I made an Instagram also by the way to keep y'all up to date about things and like ask your opinions so make sure to follow me!
Thank you guys for all the support, it means so much. Don't forget to comment and vote! -A