B a B y

Youtubers

A/N: Trans John. Also profanity. 

YEET!

John's P.O.V

"Hey my bootiful potatarts, I'm back after series of my vagina bleeding."

"Anyways I'm here with my friend. He is a boy and my friend. My boyfriend. HammyHamHamboi,"

"Hi, make sure to subscribe to me only and not this southern creature," Alex said.

"Bitch,"

"Anyways, today we're baking an? a? which is it English is hard." 

"Like my di--" 

"DOG! like your dog Box, which is a very retarded name for a dog." I mumbled.

"Says you, Box likes his name."

"I'm sure he does." 

"Have you ever realized dog spelled backward is God?" I said to Alex getting off topic of the video.

"It is?!" He yelled.

"Yeah, I know that shits crazy and tear (as in cry) and tear (as in rip apart) are spelled the same," I said.

"Shouldn't you guys be focusing on the video?" The cameraman asked.

"Oh shit, sorry 'bout that." 

"Okay like I was sayin' before I got off topic we're baking a? Cake." I said.

"This should be fun," Alex said sarcastically.

"Psh, like you had any other ideas. For your channel, you chased me around with sex toys." 

"We can use them later if you want," He smirked at me which caused me to blush. 

*****

"No you slut!" I screeched.

"I'm your slut though," 

"I don't want you as my slut anymore I need a new one. I'm disowning you slut." I said.

"Wow," He said tieing his apron.

"Okay, what do you put into a cake?" I asked throwing my hair into a bun.

"I can see your belly button," He poked it.

"Stooooooooooooooooooooop," I whined. 

"But it's so cute," 

"It's not but what do you put into a cake?"

"How come you didn't buy the pre-made cake mix?" He asked. 

"Because I'm a boss ass bitch, who can cook ten times better than you. How'd you manage to burn noodles?" I asked scrolling through my tablet looking for a cake recipe.

"I don't know. You said you can cook better than me why you lookin' up stuff?" He asked towering over me.

Damn, he's tall.

"Back up slut," I said elbowing him in the stomach. 

"Ow,"

"Seriously how the hell do you make a cake?"

"Ask Google," 

"Wait what kind of cake do you want Lex," 

"CHOCOLATE!" He yelled into my mic that was attached to my shirt.

"Lex, don't do that,"

"Just put an ear rape warning," Alex said.

"Mkay anyway, it says Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees."  

"420, I gotcha covered babe." 

I turned around and there's flour on my face. I wiped my face off on my apron. "I said 350 dumbass," 

"Grease and flour three 6" X 1 1/2" round cake pans. The hell does this mean?! AMERICA EXPLAIN!" I yelled.

"I dunno lets just use these metal bowls and hope for the best." 

"Alright then,"

Alex greased and floured the bowls, while I read the instructions.

"Mix together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and baking soda. Set aside."

"What's cocoa powder?" "Do they mean the movie coco- hold on I'll be back," He said. I searched the cabinets for cocoa powder. 

"Back," 

"Where'd you go and what's behind your back?" I asked.

He revealed the movie coco.

"Honey, baby boy, I get that we can be stupid but what the actual hell," 

"I don't even know," he sat the movie on the counter. 

"Mkay, pour the cocoa powder in there."

"Okay, mom," 

*****

"Okay, so while we wait for the cake to finish baking we should go watch porn," Alex said.

"No," "Let's read the bible," I suggested.

"You're a basic bitch, you know that right." 

"My feelings are hurt," 

"John, I'm sorry."

"Don't touch me, I'm upset." I walked over to the couch.

"Jackie, I'm sorry I was joking," 

"Your joke wasn't funny," I turned away from him.

"Cut the camera off," I stood up and walked into my room.

*****

"And we're back," 

I leaned against the counter. 

"How many minutes are left?" 

"None, I just don't know where the oven mitts are, the cakes been sitting in there for a while now,"  Alex said. 

"They're on the counter boy,"

He got the cake out and sat in on the counter. 

"No more content anyways, I'm tired and my ass hurts, this cake looks like shit and that's all. Make sure to subscribe and do that other shit." 

"Bye."